To ask if I need to do everything with my step kids?

[Jacketpotatoes]

My DH has two children with his ex. Both lovely kids, we get on well.

I'm wondering if AIBU to think that I don't need to spend every minute of their contact time with them?

What I mean is, DH will not do anything without me. I.e. I'll suggest they go to the cinema together and he'll say I should come too because 'we do things together'.

If I want to go upstairs and read a book or have a lie down on a weekend I'm expected to do it in the living room with them otherwise I'm accused of not wanting to spend time with them.

They are with us one night under 50/50 so it's not a small amount.

I think contact time is for DH, not me. I do a lot with them, I'm not saying I avoid them the entire time they are here at all. We do a lot together, go to lots of places, watch films together, eat every meal together etc...

But I think if I want to do something on an evening like have a long bath or read a book upstairs I should be able to. As much as I do care for them (and I do!), I'm not a parent, it is not me they are here to see. And whilst DH may enjoy spending time with them watching their games on the console, I don't!

It's as though I'm made to feel guilty if I don't want to 'do things together' all the time. He even pulls his face if I don't want to go to their activities like swimming etc...to watch on a Saturday morning every time.

I never ever stop him doing things, in fact I try to actively encourage him to do things with them on his own but he thinks we should do it together every time. As I say, I do get on really well with the children so I don't believe they mind that I come to all of these things but I'm sure they'd be happy to go out and do something fun with Dad some time on their own.

I feel like I'm being expected to want to do all of this stuff as much as a parent would when in reality, I don't always want to. I'm kind, respectful, have a laugh with them, make them feel as welcome as possible in their home with us etc... But they aren't my children at the end of the day and that's okay isn't it?

[Jacketpotatoes]

Thanks all. I definitely feel more confident now that I'm not wrong!

I need to get some control on this situation before it starts building as resentment and the kids absolutely need some time with their Dad, you're all right of course!