I'm yet to have my abortion and I already regret it. I'd like to think at some point I will come to terms with the choice 'we' made. I know it's the right decision but it doesn't seem to make it any easier.
My way of thinking may be wrong, but if you lost the baby naturally there would be unquestioned grief, why doesn't that apply if you've had a termination. In my eyes you're still a Mother, you had a very difficult decision to make,
I spent 20+ years thinking I was pro life & oh how awful it is, but now I think no one has a valid opinion on this subject unless they've gone through it themselves. I never ever thought I'd be in this situation, but I am, I respect every woman who has had to go through this.
I would say to help a little, it might not be your thing, but plant a flower or a tree for the baby. Or maybe one of them fairy gates they do. I honestly have spent a lot of time thinking about this, I've had losses, so it seems ironic what I'm doing, in reality there is little difference between the two.
Going through fertility treatment I was angry with the world, questioned how women could do it. Now when I'm long past accepting we were never going to have a child, for a myriad of reasons it's just not viable. For me the grief feels similar.
Remember in a way you want to, your grief and pain is valid. I think the world would be a better place if people didn't get to have opinions on things they know little about.
If you ever want to talk, feel free to message me. I hope I've made some sense.