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AIBU?

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Original poster

Prime example of CFery from previous home owner... Aibu?

251 replies

mummabubs · 31/03/2019 23:04

Two years I've been on MN and this is both my first AIBU and my first CF post! So...

We bought our house 5 years ago. It was previously owned jointly by three male colleagues (let's call them Tom, Dick and Harry). To give a bit of background context there were lots of small niggles shortly after we exchanged- when we moved in it turned out the 3 guys had left a crap load of furniture/broken equipment in the house that they no longer wanted and the garden was littered with hundreds of cigarette ends (no exaggeration). The loft was even left full of their stuff. "Tom" hasn't been any bother to us to give him an iota of credit. For the first 2 years "Dick" caused us no end of trouble as we had weekly letters and calls from debt collection agencies threatening to send bailiffs as he owed a lot of people a lot of money and naturally hadn't left any forwarding addresses. Knew my rights re:bailiffs so wasn't worried but it was frankly a pain in the arse to deal with. Damn you Dick.

The AIBU relates to what I think is cheeky fuckery on Harry's part. Harry randomly turned up on our doorstep three months after we'd moved in to say he'd come to collect his stuff from the loft. My inclination was to tell him we'd got rid of it all to teach a valuable lesson but my DH instantly said "no worries" and went and got the stuff for him from the loft. (He's a good egg). In year two of living here we got a lot of clearly NHS mail for Harry from our local hospital marked Private and Urgent. I didn't open any of the mail but could see the department number from the envelope window so called the hospital just to let them know Harry doesn't live here anymore so they might need to call him instead. Problem solved.

Fast forward 3 years and tonight my DH and I got home from a long trip to find a note put through our door "Hi, it's Harry here. I used to own your house. I'm expecting an important appointment letter from my GP and they have my registered address as here so can you let me know when it arrives. My number is XXXX. Thanks, Harry". I sent a reply saying that I'd look out for it but it was probably wise to check as I'd told the hospital before he didn't live here so it might not be sent here. Also said it might be a good idea to update his GP surgery with his new address. Got a reply a few minutes later saying "no it'll definitely come to you. I haven't told them I've moved as I can get appointments really quickly in that surgery and you can let me know when letters arrive".

So- basically he's refusing to register with a surgery in his own area so he can keep using up appointments here... and also expects me to look out for his mail and act as his secretary. I'm sorry but what the actual fuck?! It's been 5 years, just change your sodding GP surgery!! I've a good mind to get the letter and then tell him it's here but also call the surgery that stamps the envelope to tell them he's not living here anymore. AIBU to do that? Or should I just message him to say I'll let him know this once but I'm not doing it again? Or is that fact I've just endured a 3 hour car trip with a screaming toddler meaning I'm being overly harsh?

OP posts:
Tistheseason17 · 02/04/2019 22:35

Phew, thought I may be on the wrong board... just scrolled up... Yep, this is AIBU, OP! 🤣🤣

Ilfie · 02/04/2019 22:38

This guy is a joke..we had similar problems with people who had rented our house prior to us buying it- 3 yrs after we moved in and had to clear mountains of broken furniture/rubbish at our expense this couple turned up to claim a washing machine that had been left here “by a friend” we vaguely remembered having it removed (not working/damaged) we had our own anyway! These people are unbelievable! You need to read him the riot act!

OffToBedhampton · 02/04/2019 22:45

Maybe not financial agencies but other LA /service agencies might, and actually do, and from there it can go online account without further paper letters to your house. I think PPs are trying to protect you. But it's your address and your local services, not ours.

HuntingHeffalumps · 02/04/2019 23:14

Off topic but we've been at our address 4 years now. Every Christmas we get a card from the US with their round robin letter. No return address/ no forwarding address for old owner.

So this year I tracked sender down on FB and told them. Time will tell if we get another missive from the US.

Feel sorry for them! GrinHmm

MsAdorabelleDearheartVonLipwig · 02/04/2019 23:44

We had a Blue Badge turn up for the previous owners. We knew them so we let them know and also let the council know. Next year we had another one. Previous owner was not happy with the council.

She sent her mum round to collect it. The woman swanned in like her daughter still owned the place. Grin

Don’t get me started on the bloody phone calls I’ve had for the previous owners. Have had several arguments with very foreign sounding call centres that I really am not Mrs Previous Owner, they’re some right cheeky fuckers they are.

We still get them occasionally and we’ve lived here nine years.

Talkingfrog · 02/04/2019 23:49

I had things left in the bedroom cupboard and loft when I moved into my first house, but I did buy it off my brother!
It finally got collected after about 6 months. Can't really complain as he left me furniture too so I didn't have to buy new straight away.
I would reply and say you will keep an eye out for the letter. If and when it arrives, let him know that he can collect it from you. The time needs to be convenient with you, but during surgery hours, as that is where you will meet him. Only hand it over at the reception desk, after explaining what he has done to the receptionist.
He gets the letter so you have no concerns that you are delaying any treatment, but the surgery know what he has done so can deal with him not changing the address.
Any other post for him is then return to sender.

ferrier · 03/04/2019 00:18

Medical letters are definitely accepted as proof of address by benefits agencies.

confusedat30 · 03/04/2019 00:50

This happened to us. 2.5 years here and old tenant turns up and says the same thing. My mum was here with my kids and said she’d pass her number and message onto me. When I got in I called doctors and told them she doesn’t live here and text her to tell her to change her address for EVERYTHING (because still get so much mail for her and her family) as I have 3 kids living here and didn’t want doctors or anybody thinking I had random people living with us! Just say no.

Chocolatehamper · 03/04/2019 08:12

I think the main issue here is that you have said you work in the NHS and so are more concerned with the possibility of wasting valuable time and resources that could be spent on someone else should ‘Harry’ miss his appointment. Very commendable but still not your problem, RTS and tell him you’re not a forwarding service!

NewPapaGuinea · 03/04/2019 08:26

Just cancel the cheque and be done with it

Ferret27 · 03/04/2019 09:45

I’m with flirty girl... I travel to my old GP as it’s a very good surgery in a nice area... my partner changed5 years after we moved and he now regrets it as there isn’t one decent surgery in our area of London ... not one neighbour here can find one either... GP’s are definitely not all equal
Ps we rent out our old home so technically still connected to that area... just call the two nearest surgeries and get him de-registered as he has no connection to your home...

TheGrey1houndSpeaks · 03/04/2019 10:40

Why would op meet him at the gp surgery, TalkingFrog? Confused. What a load of convoluted nonsense.

wowfudge · 03/04/2019 11:05

He may well be claiming he doesn't live with a partner, etc. Just write "return to sender, no longer at this address" on any letter that arrives and stick it in a post box. Stop engaging with him. He'll soon sort things out.

PurpleCrazyHorse · 03/04/2019 11:17

It's not your problem if he misses his appointment or doesn't get his NHS letter. You're going to be getting his results and all sorts after this letter too. What if he has an urgent NHS letter sent to you, you've previously looked out for it and sent it on (as per your helpful text back to him) and suddenly you're on holiday or sick and he doesn't get his urgent results/appointment because you haven't forwarded it on quick enough. Do you want that hassle? Maybe he can't do much legally, but it would sure be stressful to get pulled into that.

I would just say no. He moved out of the area and it's his problem to solve if the GP won't let him change his address to one out of the area. Nothing to stop him moving back if he's that attached to the GP surgery.

Lets hope he's not living abroad and keeping his UK address so he can get free healthcare.

buzzbobbly · 03/04/2019 11:26

Last week I got a(nother) letter from a professional organisation my ex belonged to.

It was the final one saying that as they hadn't heard from him, his membership was now cancelled.

He should have this membership to carry on earning CPD and also as part of his Masters study. And his work pay for it anyway so its not even as if it costs him anything!

But I spent a long time being his mother when we were together so on his own head be it now.

NoIsACompleteAnswerSometimes · 03/04/2019 12:21

Wait till the letter arrives, text him to say it's here, tell him to pick it up with £1000 in cash (or whatever amount you like) as payment for services rendered. Bet he'd change his address then!

SavvyBlancBlonde · 03/04/2019 12:28

It’s really quite simple. Tell him to pay for a redirect via the post office. He can keep the address but they forward it. It takes 20mins to request and pay for and then can be rushed implemented within 48hrs. He will have to pay for it but that his option. I’ve move 3 times and have done it each and every time. He’s being a pain in the arse.

TheGrey1houndSpeaks · 03/04/2019 13:54

I wouldn’t encourage anyone who moved out of my house five years ago to use a postal redirect service. He needs to have the records changed to his actual address, not be given the opportunity to have even more guff rerouted through someone else’s.

wowfudge · 03/04/2019 14:09

No - what's really simple is to stop engaging! The whole thing is bonkers.

Original poster
mummabubs · 03/04/2019 20:01

I definitely think that's part of the puzzle @Chocolatehamper. One of the services I work in has a very high rate of people who don't attend appointments and it really skews how long our waiting list is so I see it from the other side.

And definitely @TheGrey1houndSpeaks, not a chance in heck would I meet him at whichever surgery he's at- I don't even want him coming back to the house!

There's still no sign of any letter, so I think if it's not here soon I'll just message him telling him to change it anyway. It's a pain that there's so many surgeries near to us as if I knew which one it was I could nip this in the bud now.

I can't remember who it was but someone said I'll be receiving results letters etc, I don't work in England so maybe it's different there but the address kept by central medical records can be different to the one your GP holds for you as they're kept on two separate systems.

OP posts:
Original poster
mummabubs · 03/04/2019 20:03

Think you've got the wrong thread @NewPapaGuinea ... no cheques here!

OP posts:
pinkpantherpink · 03/04/2019 20:23

Definitely Return to Sender!!!

If it is that important he should have told the surgery his new address.

Motoko · 03/04/2019 20:49

"Cancel the cheque" is a reference to an old thread where the answer to the question was "Cancel the cheque" and the OP did that very early in the thread, but posters kept coming on, having only read the first post, telling the OP to cancel the cheque..
Basically what @NewPapaGuinea is saying, is that everyone is saying the same thing. RTS.

Bignosenobum · 03/04/2019 21:47

Agree with everyone, ot sounds quite funny as well. I know not for you but REALLY REALLY. Return to sender the mail saying person moved from area. or take his mail to surgery and bubble him. If he turns up pretend you don't know him. Block his number. For all he knows you could have moved on. or charge him for the privilege of your address £100 a month. lolGrin

Bignosenobum · 03/04/2019 21:48

cancel the cheque

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