Prime example of CFery from previous home owner... Aibu?

[mummabubs]

Two years I've been on MN and this is both my first AIBU and my first CF post! So...

We bought our house 5 years ago. It was previously owned jointly by three male colleagues (let's call them Tom, Dick and Harry). To give a bit of background context there were lots of small niggles shortly after we exchanged- when we moved in it turned out the 3 guys had left a crap load of furniture/broken equipment in the house that they no longer wanted and the garden was littered with hundreds of cigarette ends (no exaggeration). The loft was even left full of their stuff. "Tom" hasn't been any bother to us to give him an iota of credit. For the first 2 years "Dick" caused us no end of trouble as we had weekly letters and calls from debt collection agencies threatening to send bailiffs as he owed a lot of people a lot of money and naturally hadn't left any forwarding addresses. Knew my rights re:bailiffs so wasn't worried but it was frankly a pain in the arse to deal with. Damn you Dick.

The AIBU relates to what I think is cheeky fuckery on Harry's part. Harry randomly turned up on our doorstep three months after we'd moved in to say he'd come to collect his stuff from the loft. My inclination was to tell him we'd got rid of it all to teach a valuable lesson but my DH instantly said "no worries" and went and got the stuff for him from the loft. (He's a good egg). In year two of living here we got a lot of clearly NHS mail for Harry from our local hospital marked Private and Urgent. I didn't open any of the mail but could see the department number from the envelope window so called the hospital just to let them know Harry doesn't live here anymore so they might need to call him instead. Problem solved.

Fast forward 3 years and tonight my DH and I got home from a long trip to find a note put through our door "Hi, it's Harry here. I used to own your house. I'm expecting an important appointment letter from my GP and they have my registered address as here so can you let me know when it arrives. My number is XXXX. Thanks, Harry". I sent a reply saying that I'd look out for it but it was probably wise to check as I'd told the hospital before he didn't live here so it might not be sent here. Also said it might be a good idea to update his GP surgery with his new address. Got a reply a few minutes later saying "no it'll definitely come to you. I haven't told them I've moved as I can get appointments really quickly in that surgery and you can let me know when letters arrive".

So- basically he's refusing to register with a surgery in his own area so he can keep using up appointments here... and also expects me to look out for his mail and act as his secretary. I'm sorry but what the actual fuck?! It's been 5 years, just change your sodding GP surgery!! I've a good mind to get the letter and then tell him it's here but also call the surgery that stamps the envelope to tell them he's not living here anymore. AIBU to do that? Or should I just message him to say I'll let him know this once but I'm not doing it again? Or is that fact I've just endured a 3 hour car trip with a screaming toddler meaning I'm being overly harsh?

Ring.nearest surgery say a patient called such and such has post.

Ahhh thanks for the explanation @Motoko! 😁

I did consider ringing surgeries @Bignosenobum, but as they can't even confirm to me whether he's registered m there or not due to confidentiality I'd have to call all 10+ surgeries relatively close to us and go through the spiel with them all... in the words of Sugar Brown: Ain't nobody got time for that.

Omg TOTAL CFs!!!! 😳

Do you have somewhere you could burn the letter if it arrives? Then when the CF turns up you can return it to him ‘destroyed for our data protection and don’t send anything here again or it’ll get the same’

TheGrey1houndSpeaks - I only suggested that because he will then be forced to change his details as the receptionist will have been told.
Mamabubs - sorry, I thought you knew which surgery it was. At least then you would be in a place where there were other people and he wouldn't need to go to your house again.

Unfortunately not @Talkingfrog 😔

OP when the letter arrives.. open it! If it's a letter from the hospital, won't it have his GP's address on because it would have been copied to them?
Then you can contact them and let them know he doesn't live there anymore and you'd like them to remove his address.

Then if you want to pass it over to him you can say 'Sorry, DH opened it by mistake not realising it wasn't for us..'

Actually it is a criminal offence to interfere with royal mail. I

@Bignosenobum only if someone reports it 😐
If Op opens it calls them to inform them and destroys the letter there's nothing to report or prove.

It’s only an offence to open mail if you do it to the persons detriment. And you’ll be doing it to make sure they get their doctors appointments so it will be to Harry’s benefit.

Hmmm... I'm not sure about opening someone's health-related mail. (Again, as an NHS employee I take confidentiality very seriously so don't want to know anything about his health I have no need to know). I can definitely see why that would make it easier to get his surgery details though.

Still no letter, I've resolved to message him at the weekend if it still hasn't arrived telling him to change the address. I very much doubt that he'll do it but you never know.

He might do it if you tell him that you have changed your mind and you don't want any involvement with him or his letters.

Still no sign of this letter, so I'll be messaging him tomorrow outlying some clear boundaries: I am willing to forward on this one letter, on this one occasion, if it shows up (he can give me a forwarding address, not come here to collect) and that after that he's not to use our address anymore. I'll make it clear that if he chooses to then I won't be informing him or forwarding any post in future NHS-related or otherwise. I've spoken to a family friend who's a local GP and they know the two main surgeries served by our road so I'll be giving them calls if he doesn't agree to change his address. Just wish this bloody letter would show up to be honest!

Actually it is a criminal offence to interfere with royal mail.

Only if you are opening that mail to someone's detriment.

I once had some mail arriving at an old address for the previous occupant's DD, but there was no return address on the envelope. After a few had arrived, I opened one envelope to find it was from the local 6th form about some oppotunities, etc.

I phoned the 6th form, and they told me that they couldn't delete the address on my say so ( but yes I know I could have been anyone). I actually suggested to them that it might be a good idea to send forms out to every student on the grounds of updating everyone's details, they apparently hadn't thought of that. I even said to them they might catch other students who hadn't given updated details to the student office. But I didn't get any more mail from the school.

All this handwringing about it being a big crime to open mail etc.

I am the only person to have ever lived in my house, apart from my ex for a while.

So if anything is addressed here, I open it.

Genuine mistakes I will RTS.

Mail for ex gets binned now. I voluntarily redirected stuff for a few months - he never organised Royal Mail redirection or updated any forwarded sender, apparently. But now it's taking the piss, so his loss.

If I were OP I'd probably just open the letter and look at the top of the headed paper without even removing from the envelope if that worried about confidentiality (the recipient clearly isn't though!)

That will tell you what surgery without seeing anything incriminating.

Job done. Recipient can get to fuck.

Post can get opened by accident all the time or during mail journey 😉.

I'd find the GP address and RTS with "not known at this address, moved in 2014"

True @buzzbobbly and @OffToBedhampton, I think I'd still feel too uncomfortable to risk it!

I've sent him a text tonight outlining the points I said I would, in summary: no letter yet, not happy, change your address, happy to forward this one on this one occasion but all future mail will be returned to sender or binned. Not sure if he'll reply but I've said my piece. (And he'll have to engage if he wants me to pass the letter on if it ever materialises, can't be that urgent if it's been a week and they haven't sent it!!)

Hmm

He's replied saying he thinks now it won't come to us (thanks for letting us know(!)) as its being processed through our local hospital and they have his correct address. He says I don't need to worry as he's already in the process of changing addresses with his GP... not sure how much of that I buy but not a lot I can do now. Hopefully this is the last we hear of from our ex-house owners.

Text him to say you will RTS any letters etc. that still come to your address. Then do it.

Don't open anything (that's illegal) or forward anything (it's been waaay too long).

Btw, surgeries do send letters for routine appointments. Mine does. If he can't bothered to change surgeries or wants to keep his place at a good one - that is not your problem.

Well... never expected to have an update but turns out despite him assuring me that he'd changed the address, guess what arrived for him in the post today. On the plus it's stamped from the surgery on the envelope so I now know where he's registered and can contact them myself.

Just call the surgery and post the letter back back to sender.

I suspect surgeries are onto this kind of skullduggery, which is why they stamp the envelope eventually. So pleased you can enlighten them of Dick’s not-so-recent change of address. I am a health care professional in a different country. Our system is completely different and yet it is just as annoying!

Yay! Definitely return to the surgery!