Prime example of CFery from previous home owner... Aibu?

[mummabubs]

Two years I've been on MN and this is both my first AIBU and my first CF post! So...

We bought our house 5 years ago. It was previously owned jointly by three male colleagues (let's call them Tom, Dick and Harry). To give a bit of background context there were lots of small niggles shortly after we exchanged- when we moved in it turned out the 3 guys had left a crap load of furniture/broken equipment in the house that they no longer wanted and the garden was littered with hundreds of cigarette ends (no exaggeration). The loft was even left full of their stuff. "Tom" hasn't been any bother to us to give him an iota of credit. For the first 2 years "Dick" caused us no end of trouble as we had weekly letters and calls from debt collection agencies threatening to send bailiffs as he owed a lot of people a lot of money and naturally hadn't left any forwarding addresses. Knew my rights re:bailiffs so wasn't worried but it was frankly a pain in the arse to deal with. Damn you Dick.

The AIBU relates to what I think is cheeky fuckery on Harry's part. Harry randomly turned up on our doorstep three months after we'd moved in to say he'd come to collect his stuff from the loft. My inclination was to tell him we'd got rid of it all to teach a valuable lesson but my DH instantly said "no worries" and went and got the stuff for him from the loft. (He's a good egg). In year two of living here we got a lot of clearly NHS mail for Harry from our local hospital marked Private and Urgent. I didn't open any of the mail but could see the department number from the envelope window so called the hospital just to let them know Harry doesn't live here anymore so they might need to call him instead. Problem solved.

Fast forward 3 years and tonight my DH and I got home from a long trip to find a note put through our door "Hi, it's Harry here. I used to own your house. I'm expecting an important appointment letter from my GP and they have my registered address as here so can you let me know when it arrives. My number is XXXX. Thanks, Harry". I sent a reply saying that I'd look out for it but it was probably wise to check as I'd told the hospital before he didn't live here so it might not be sent here. Also said it might be a good idea to update his GP surgery with his new address. Got a reply a few minutes later saying "no it'll definitely come to you. I haven't told them I've moved as I can get appointments really quickly in that surgery and you can let me know when letters arrive".

So- basically he's refusing to register with a surgery in his own area so he can keep using up appointments here... and also expects me to look out for his mail and act as his secretary. I'm sorry but what the actual fuck?! It's been 5 years, just change your sodding GP surgery!! I've a good mind to get the letter and then tell him it's here but also call the surgery that stamps the envelope to tell them he's not living here anymore. AIBU to do that? Or should I just message him to say I'll let him know this once but I'm not doing it again? Or is that fact I've just endured a 3 hour car trip with a screaming toddler meaning I'm being overly harsh?

I have to say I'm suspicious about Harry using his apparent occupancy of your house for some kind of scam, whether a benefit claim or some kind of credit card fraud. (I am above average suspicious about this kind of thing.) There's just no good reason for him to be having mail delivered there so long after leaving. As such, I'd make it clear that he's no longer there on any mail that arrives. Does he appear on the electoral roll for your address?

Harry doesn't live here anymore
Harry had a room on the second floor
Sorry but he left no forwarding addess
It's a mystery
Harreeeeeeeeee!

Bloody hell. He's had five years to sort this out.
Absolutely don't pass it on. If it's important he should have sorted it - he's had FIVE BLOODY YEARS to do that.

Round here doctors are scarce. My elderly neighbour who has mobility issues has had to register with a further away surgery because there's no room at the inn. I wouldn't let a CF get away with not bothering to register with a new surgery.

One thing I discovered is if you return to sender "no longer at this address" also put " please stop sending his mail to this address!" Until I put that the mail kept coming but after that it stopped.

Return the letters to the sender.

Block Harry's number.

His health, his problem.

He’s making his laziness and entitlement your problem.

Don’t let him.

Reply back, “I’m extremely unhappy that you have chosen not to update your records with your correct address. You do not live at this address and haven’t don’t so for five years. I’ve called the surgery and told them to remove you from my address. You will have to sort out your medical issues yourself”

Don't do anything for him. Bin the letters. You are not his secretary or his mother. His healthcare is none of your business.

I had something similar in the place I lived before. The NHS is on its knees and he is playing the system. I wouldn't want to participate in that.

Don't entertain Harry. He's not your problem. If and when a letter arrives throw it back into the post box as pp have said. Block his bloody number too, the cheek!

Wow, thank you so much for all the replies. (Am at work so just replying quickly)

@Roussette All I know is that the 3 blokes who owned the house were colleagues- They're strangers to me and I've never met them! (Sorry If that wasn't clear in the OP)

@CatGoals I do feel I have a backbone, although admittedly I occasionally struggle with assertiveness as I want to help a little too often, sometimes to my detriment!

@senua That's absolutely what I was thinking of doing- asking for his address so I can pass that on the surgery. I don't really want him coming back here to be honest.

For those asking why I'd even do it this once- I guess I believe that he's already arranged for this appointment to be sent here so me not telling him isn't very kind or helpful... however I'm a firm believer that he needs to know this will no longer be acceptable or facilitated by me.

And just for the few people saying he's had 5 years to sort this out- as far as I can tell it's not that he's forgotten to change his details but that he's deliberately staying registered with our local GP as he knows he can easily get appointments so doesn't want to register anywhere else.

previous owners mail very occaisionly appears here (we ve been here over 10 yrs!!). they live round the corner. I bin it all, full stop. they had the cheek to ask for a xmas card last year/ or birthday? from some relative theyd forgot to tell a change of address (after 10 + years!!). It went in the bin. I am not royal mail.

Harry either can`t be arsed or has some scam on the go. just block and bin. It is 5 years!!!

So missing that appointment is his stupid tax. It's not your problem.

Call the dr.
Then call him that his letter arrived.
Fill an envelope with a load of glitter and a note saying you won't be forwarding his post any more.

It's deception, and I wouldn't want to get involved.

He has no right to pretent to still live at your house in order to stay with a particular Surgery.

They will have a catchment area, and if he lives outside it he should be removed from the list and find a new GP.

If they use choose and book in your area, it could be a letter for something as mundane as physio. I'd be taking it into the surgery to explain.

What would happen if you wanted to go register your own family there?

What a CF!

@TeaForDad I love that idea but wouldn't want to waste and of my craft materials or glitter on him 😂

Start taking this seriously, op . Some complete stranger is about to get a letter providing him with proof of (your!) address and you’re calmly allowing him to do it. Wake up.

A tad harsh @TheGrey1houndSpeaks. I've had no evidence to believe he's trying to gain proof of our address as his own and have stated right from my OP that I intend to inform the surgery that he doesn't live here.

Hanging on to your surgery is quite common where I live (and I suspect most parts of the UK) as people either can't be bothered and would rather travel or (as was my initial experience when we came to this area) they try and register with a new GP surgery when they move and are told there's a wait list for several months to get a routine appointment.

Op there is nothing wrong with staying registered at your old GPS.

What is wrong is not changing his address and expecting you to help after 5 year. He is a cf.

But most GPS have a policy of you must live here to register as a new patient. They don't usually have policies about those who move and stay registered.

I moved and stayed registered as did my mum 30 years ago. Although she eventually changed after 4 or 5 years when our old doctor retired.
GPS are not all equal. Some are crap and some are excellent.

However
He is massively taking the piss and that is the issue here.

Surely what he is doing is fraud isn’t it?! I wouldn’t want to be a part of it in the slightest, and would absolutely be letting the surgery know if I could. At the very least I would be returning the letter to the sender. How will you know what is really in the letter? It could be anything dodgy to do with your address!

So he’s openly using you as he can’t be arsed/happy to deceive his drs surgery for five years but you’re ok with that as you don’t want to be unhelpful?

To whoever said it’s fine to move and stay registered with your old gp - that’s not the case here. If you move out of catchment area you have to register with a nearer doctor. Hence why people who legitimately live nearby can’t get in.

Op - I don’t know why you’re being so blasé about him being such a cf and treating you like shit.

The fact that he is openly deceiving the gp surgery is worse in my opinion.

So, you don't even know Tom, Dick or Harry? I thought they were work colleagues or something!

Absolutely no way would I have anyone purporting to live here when they don't. Not even for a month, let alone 10 years!

Phone the surgery. Tell them in no uncertain terms he does not live there and hasn't for 5 years and they need to remove your address sharpish.

Also text him and say "We've let the surgery know you don't live here, please do not contact us again or we will go to the police for harrassment and using our address is fraud (not an empty threat). Kind regards, "

Also check the electoral roll op. Make sure he's binned off..

Also why are you such a pushover 😐

What a cheeky twat! Return all future letters to sender, notify surgery that he doesn't live there anymore, block his number & tell him to get lost if he turns up at your door!

We had similar in a house once - debt collectors, bailiffs & a loft full of shite! We took it all to the tip within the first week or so - bloody tough luck!

Send it back to return to sender stating he doesn’t live there and hasn’t for years. He’s something else! Sounds like something my ex husband would do. Are you sure his initials aren’t KM?!

Every year we receive a Christmas card for previous owners (8 years ago). Can’t have liked sender that much if they haven’t told or seen them in 8 years 😂