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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it's a bit shit I got nothing for mothers day

140 replies

grainyperson · 31/03/2019 11:50

I know I know, I don't mean to add to the collection of hundreds of threads. My children are still young but even so.. nothing made at nursery? DP hasn't made anything with them.. I didn't even get a lie in ! Feeling meh about the whole thing.
Especially as I have no relationship with my Mum, can the day be over already?

OP posts:
Evilspiritgin · 31/03/2019 15:56

Maybe your dh thought that after having a miscarriage last month plus 2 d&cs that it might be to near the bone for you this time especially if he’s been fairly good on previous years

JemSynergy · 31/03/2019 16:05

Our school doesn't do anything either unless we pay for it via the PTA. This year I forgot to hand in the form and money so my daughter wasn't allowed to participate in the mother's day card making! Shame as I used to love the card they made at school!

sagradafamiliar · 31/03/2019 16:12

Yanbu, sorry you're feeling this way Thanks to you and anyone else feeling miserable.
I'm a single parent and have raised the kids with celebrating today, started them early and made it into tradition (same goes for other occasions). I insist on it! Other people can be disappointing.

drinkswineoutofamug · 31/03/2019 16:13

I didn't get anything either. Had an argument with the partner so me and the dog went out to the day and sat eating burgers and sausage at the park. It's what you make it.
Home now totally ignoring everyone and cracking on with some odd jobs. I brought myself some baklava which I will eat all to myself tonight watching criminal minds.
I've treated my self also to some new furniture for my study and curtains . God I know how to have fun 😂

zoellafortitude · 31/03/2019 16:16

so me and the dog went out to the day and sat eating burgers and sausage at the park. It's what you make it

Dogs are where it's at Grin My lovely photo is now my phone wallpaper. Happy memories!

I brought myself some baklava which I will eat all to myself tonight watching criminal minds. I've treated my self also to some new furniture for my study and curtains

That's the way! Grin Sisters are doin' it for themselves!

Itssosunny · 31/03/2019 16:24

I got nothing either, no words not even a hug. I will remember it when they ask me to buy it. Won't ask DC to make a card for DH either for Father's Day. Why do I always have to make an effort and no-one cared about me. All I bear we want this and we want that.

Italiangreyhound · 31/03/2019 16:28

Treat yourself. And next year tell your dp how important this is for you. If father's day is not important for him, so be it. But it is for you.

I went to church today (as I usually do) we got flowers (small posy) and the kids made a gift.

zoellafortitude · 31/03/2019 16:28

itssosunny Poor thing Flowers This needs to be a wake-up call for them to stop taking you for granted. Be kind to yourself today, but start making plans to shake them all up starting tomorrow! X

Italiangreyhound · 31/03/2019 16:29

YADNBU.

Itssosunny · 31/03/2019 16:33

zoellafortitude, thank youFlowers
Revenge is coming. WinkGrin

zoellafortitude · 31/03/2019 16:36
Grin
MaidenMotherCrone · 31/03/2019 16:50

I've three adult DC. Two still at home, youngest at Uni. I didn't even get a card. I feel rubbish.

zoellafortitude · 31/03/2019 16:55

MaidenMotherCrone

I am shocked at how many Mums have been ignored on Mother's Day. Really sad and disappointing. Surprising too, I never would have thought it.

Make next year different MMC! Have a brainstorm between now and next year about How Things Will Be Different in 2020.

Flowers
AccidentallyRunToWindsor · 31/03/2019 17:10

Me too. I'm only a stepmum but I got nothing. I'm trying to cover up how upset I am.

Crustaceans · 31/03/2019 17:17

I’m having a shit mother’s day too. I don’t really care about it being mother’s day. But being mother’s day just makes all the shit worse really.

I’m hiding in my room refusing to engage with anyone in my house. Well except DS2 (who is only 9 and is the only person not being a complete arsehole). Mostly this is because otherwise I will tell them all to get out of my house.

I’m seriously reconsidering my (already strained) relationship with my mother at this point. She’s so overbearing and difficult. I cannot wait for her to leave today, and then I think I’ll make sure that I don’t actually see her again until Christmas at the earliest.

I know the MN consensus will be that I need to find my spine and just chuck my parents out. But I don’t think I’m up to that right now. think I’d rather go to bed and cry, so
I’m not going to pull off assertive MNer.

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 31/03/2019 17:17

Grainy. Some blokes are hopeless at all this, mainly I suspect because others did it all for them in the past. I really think its a case of Don't ask, don't get.
Sometimes you have to spell it out for them. Remind them a week in advance next year. Put a note up on the fridge if you have to.
Can't blame the DCs or nursery, they are still too young. but you can say to your DC I'd love you to make me a card for Sunday.. and give them the paper and crayons. This is good training for them. Create the tradition that you want. Make sure it continues. Don't retaliate with father's day, but lead by example, in a nice way. Show him how its done!

No reason why you can't celebrate mothers day ie YOU. Next weekend or next suitable weekend.
Text him very nicely and say what you want. With some people there is no point waiting for them to get the hint or mind read. " I completely understand that you were working on MD sunday ,so Next weekend I'd really love to have a celebration with you and the kids, that means cards . I'd like you and the DC's to make me a special breakfast and I'd like us to all go for a nice walk to xyz.
Things like that are much more important than flash cards and gifts if you are hard up. I think if you say this in a nice way, that it might sink in. And next year reminnd them in advance. Looks like you are going to have to do this at Christmas. too cue Boxing Day breakfast for Mum and list of presents you might like which they can pick from etc so a) you get a present after all the ones you've shopped for and b) its something you actually want. Again, if they are clueless you have to train them LOL. .

If you are still not getting a response after all that.. then he needs a good talking too. Wishing you all the best xxx

SoyDora · 31/03/2019 17:19

Nurseries and schools have stopped doing this as it is so traumatic for the children without a mother/father

DD1’s school and DD2’s nursery both made cards/presents.

zoellafortitude · 31/03/2019 17:27

I think I’ll make sure that I don’t actually see her again until Christmas at the earliest

Could you start making plans to avoid/minimise the Christmas nightmare?

thesnailandthewhale · 31/03/2019 17:27

Nothing for me either - I'm a single parent and ds came back from his Dads after lunch today. He had been home about 20 minutes then sais "Oh Happy Mothers Day", I didn't get you anything cos you never want anything".

In some ways it's true - it is pointless commercialism but it does hurt when he hasn't even thought about a card. And that's the issue - the lack of thought. I do everything for him, literally 24/7 (Dad does one day a fortnight). Dad would've bought something for his new partner from their dd and while I don't expect him to buy something for me (ds is 15 now), he could've made sure he had a card.

I even sell cards as a side business, ds could have taken one out of my stock but didn't even bother doing that :(

snowflakesnow · 31/03/2019 17:29

It's what you make it why Rely on others to make it good.

-I got up and took my dc to the park and had myself a nice latte whilst I was at it.
-came home and made us a lovely Sunday dinner
-pottered about a put a wash on the line
-relaxing watching a movie and a few wine spritzers

  • made Rice Krispie buns and munched them.

Spending a nice day with my child is all that matters and I made that happen

Eemamc · 31/03/2019 17:31

I’m sorry OP. I hope you get an opportunity to do some self care. You definitely deserve it.
Regarding Mother’s Day craft activities at school, I made a conscious decision not to do these kinds of activities with my kids. I have many students who have very challenging home lives and whose mums have died, or they no longer live with them for very traumatic reasons. It would be very triggering to do this with my classes. I’m sure most teachers make a judgment call on these kind of things with knowledge of their cohort.

drinkswineoutofamug · 31/03/2019 17:35

@zoellafortitude , this is for you

To think it's a bit shit I got nothing for mothers day
zoellafortitude · 31/03/2019 17:37

@drinkswineoutofamug

Lovely dog! Nice shiny fur. Is it a Patterdale/Patterdale cross? Gorgeous beast!

drinkswineoutofamug · 31/03/2019 17:38

Whippet crosses with something, waited for the dna test results

Daisylilly · 31/03/2019 17:40

Today on mothers day I did not even receive a card my children are small my husband went off for the weekend yesterday I didnt even get a happy mothers day message I am not materialistic and dont expect much just to be appreciated I can't help but feel hurt also. Any father's day and birthday I really make it special for him I don't want to be praised or spoiled just appreciated I feel really really sad

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