Really fucked off with DP -AIBU

[lastqueenofscotland]

He thinks I’ve overreacted. I am seething.

He’d not met my mother before and because of where she lives you can’t sort of meet for lunch to introduce each other so ended up planning to go up this weekend.
I thought I’d show him the town nearest our house in the evening and have a drink or two.
By some coincidence he bumped into a group of friends who were up here on a walking holiday, and ended up staying out with them. Getting in (after moaning about a really expensive taxi) really very late (well gone midnight), he called me which woke me up to let him back in.
I’m staying for a few more days and he had an early train back, so he had to leave without actually saying goodbye or thanking my mother despite the fact she cooked us all a lovely lunch and he’s drunk plenty of naice wine and gin.

Im really really pissed off but I don’t know if I’m overreacting

He should have been on his absolutely best behaviour, meeting his girlfriends mum for the first time. The fact that this was his best behaviour does not bode well for the future.

What's his attitude to his own mother? Is he dismissive?

Well... Just to give you another perspective.

My dh has a tendency to be like this, he is very very sociable and has massive fomo so doesn't like the idea of fun being had without him being part of it.

He's done stuff like this to me before, but if I have been pissed off he would have come home with me.

I don't think he would have done this the first time he met my parents though.

BUT, the guy has bothered to go to rural Scotland to meet your mum so he must like you enough to do that (assuming he paid for his own flights and this wasn't a three line whip from you).

Think you need to just explain why this was important to you and why you're upset, and the impression it leaves your mum. It's possible he grew up with different values about manners (as my dh did) so sometimes you have to spell it out.

If this is in the context of generally being inconsiderate then it might be time to end things but if he's decent otherwise it can be worked on. My dh still has the fomo and needs to socialise but he's better at realising what is going to piss me off.