Should I give mil flowers just to piss her off?

[Caliplums]

Hear me out before you flame me.
Every year on mother's day I always give Exmil flowers and a card from dcs, I also do the same for my own dm, however this year mil has been a bitch has barely spoken to dcs or myself and went off her rocker last week because I refused to allow her son to verbally abuse me anymore.

So as tomorrow is mothers day I plan on giving her some flowers.

1. because she won't be expecting them as I know she'll be going around slagging me off to everyone who has ears.
2. because I feel like being a petty bitch myself.

So aibu?

It won't piss her off, she'll claim you're sending them because you feel guilty about your wrongdoing.

This.

To the people saying it will piss her off, it won’t. She’ll gloat. She’ll think you are weak OP. She’ll laugh about your flowers but most of all she’ll gloat because she’ll know you are too scared of her and your ex not to acknowledge her on your own day.

I wouldn't.

I don’t understand why you would buy flowers to give your ex mil or your mum from your children after all they’re are not your childrens mum very bizarre.

It Mother's Day she's not your mother.
Its up to your ex DP to finance and organise your DC to get her something. Its also up to him to maintain your DCs relationship with her
Agree with what Scoresonthedoors.
Its a mixed message too. If she's been verbally agressive to you and slags you off to people, you don't owe her anything, don't reward her. She should be apologising. You need to distance yourself from this woman and her unpleasantness. And don't let the DC's see you getting involved in a tit for tat with her.

Across I don't get the big huff I see on MN about grandmothers getting in on MD. It's quite 'usual' here (US) to buy a 'To Granny from Grandkids' MD card. DH and I always bought cards for our mothers from our DC. It didn't lessen the DCs appreciation for me simply because they showed appreciation for their gran. Plenty of love to go around.

By that token do you get cards from your children (or the grandparents?) on Grandparents Day?

Just seen old lady down the road, OMG. Is she your MIL... She is ranting and red in face as GC just visited with her son, flowers from exDIL....and chocolates...
The card was written by her not the children who are both under 5.. So she knows who organised it.
Seems even when her son had to drive over with the roses, a mini bush one, and his DDs were excited to give them to granny, he didn't bother to take the hint...
She only has one child, so he will do nothing as he lives an hour away...

YABU

Very

Love this! I’d be straight on amazon looking for a “best MIL in the world” balloon. I’d be totally upping my game for this Mother’s Day. I’m a petty bitch too. Just love being overly nice to people who I know hate me. It really makes them mad 😂

I don’t think it does make them mad. I think it makes them gloat and think you are stupid.

Nope lady down the road was spitting feathers over her son not bothering and the ex had got her something nice from the children.

buzz no, but then my mum and MiL were more like mums to my children than I am like a grandmother to them, so I wouldn't expect that.🙄

So did MIL get her flowers from you, OP?

Good evening all, hope you've all had a lovely mother's day.

Yes mil did get her flowers 😁 she done just as I said she would and text me to say thank you and my reply was "no problem"

I know it sounds petty to some but it did really make me feel good to kill her with kindness and to wipe the smug lool off her face.

It's either kill it with fire or kindness, in my view 😂

Me too 😂 people who know me, know that if I'm being extra nice and not swearing like a sailor I really dislike you.

🙄

? You'd do that? Im not sure she'd appreciate the irony you intend.

I’d have a cushion made with mine and my dc faces on it with ‘best MIL’ on it.

Passive aggression is just so unhealthy though.

Passive aggression is just so unhealthy though.
This ^^. Either do something because it will make someone else feel good or don't do it at all. Doing something just to piss them off?

@WhoKnewBeefStew I saw some socks I was going to get exdp for his birthday with my face on, as he was complaining about a picture I put up on WhatsApp with me and dcs but I decided against it

I know it's passive aggressive, I know it's immature, but sometimes you just have to do these things.

I've had so many years of ups and downs and ignoring crap from them that I just thought fuck it, yes they're still going to talk about me but I got the satisfaction I needed from it, so all's fair in love and war!

"I know it's passive aggressive, I know it's immature, but sometimes you just have to do these things"

You really don't. You can choose not to engage and not give her head space. Because ultimately childish shit like this gets you no further on and all you've done is made a move in the endless PA war.

When I read posts like this I don't understand how the posters of AIBUs like this one can't see that they are creating the very drama they then complain about.

I wouldn't feed the drama.