Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed with dh over Mother's Day.

94 replies

NicoAndTheNiners · 30/03/2019 12:34

MIL lives Nearly 2 hours away. The fact it was Mother's Day escaped my mind until yesterday, I have no mother.

Dh this morning pipes up that he thought we could go and see his mum tomorrow. I could have cried, I'm absolutely knackered. I've had a crazy week at work, coupled with three nights out this week. I have a hectic week at work next week.

I was planning on doing bugger all this weekend apart from snoozing and watching tv. I also have a hospital appt tomorrow morning for a CT scan but it is at 9am so possible to have my appt and then leave.

He hasn't booked a restaurant and obviously we now can't eat out.

I can't take the dog with me.

Dog walker can't come at such late notice and I don't want to leave the dog alone all day.

If we went we wouldn't be home until about 10pm which I hate on a Sunday when I have to be up at 6am the next day for work. I'm tempted to tell dh to go on his own. He's fucked off out by himself for the day now.

OP posts:
Original poster
NicoAndTheNiners · 30/03/2019 12:35

Meant to say I'm annoyed at the lack of planning. If he'd told me earlier I'd have cancelled one of my nights out. I'd also have sorted a restaurant.

He did this last year and I was pissed off and refused to go so he didn't go either!

OP posts:
MrsMozartMkII · 30/03/2019 12:35

Don't go. He can go on his own.

adulthumanwolf · 30/03/2019 12:36

Why can't he go on his own?

Musicalstatues · 30/03/2019 12:36

I just wouldn’t go

GertrudeCB · 30/03/2019 12:36

Tell him to go on his own then.

AuntieStella · 30/03/2019 12:37

Just tell him to go along enough and make a fuss of his DMum.

You then have as much of the day under your duvet as you can, which might not solve everything, but should take the edge off feeling knackered all the time.

Crinkle77 · 30/03/2019 12:37

She's not your mother. No need for you to go too.

IvanaPee · 30/03/2019 12:38

Just don’t go? Confused

kaytee87 · 30/03/2019 12:39

Non issue. Just don't go. Relax at home by yourself instead.

S1naidSucks · 30/03/2019 12:39

Yup, he should go by himself. Jesus, the thought of sitting in anyone’s house for that length of time would bore me silly.

Furrydogmum · 30/03/2019 12:39

I would definitely send him on his own, you can relax and the dog has company - win win! My mil lives 2 mins away and my DH will be visiting her alone..

ShirleyPhallus · 30/03/2019 12:39

Literally everyone on this thread will tell you not to go, why are you getting yourself in such a state? Just don’t go Confused

Condamine · 30/03/2019 12:39

You can't possibly leave your poor dog at home on it's own for 12 hours.
There's just no discussion.

3luckystars · 30/03/2019 12:40

Go by himself. Enjoy the peace.

Mrsjayy · 30/03/2019 12:41

Just tell him you are staying home with the dog you are putti g tomuch mental energy into this while your husband hasn't just tell him

ijustdontunderstandher · 30/03/2019 12:41

Let him go on his own, if he wanted you there he should’ve thought about that when he didn’t tell you. It’s his DM, he can visit her on his own

Original poster
NicoAndTheNiners · 30/03/2019 12:41

Because I think he won't go if I don't go. Which is what happened last year.

Then I feel bad and guilty. But I know that really it's not my fault.

He makes me feel like a bad person for not going. But the really annoying thing is if I go to see my brother he often won't come as he's too busy doing sport. But I'm expected to prioritise his family when he never prioritises mine.

OP posts:
Singlenotsingle · 30/03/2019 12:42

If he hasn't booked a restaurant, that means MIL would have to cook, which she might not want to do anyway! Leave it to him to decide what he's going to do, but no reason for you to go.

IvanaPee · 30/03/2019 12:43

It doesn’t matter what he expects! It only matters what you’re willing to put up with.

He sounds like a real prince, by the way. Lucky you. Hmm

GreatDuckCookery · 30/03/2019 12:44

As everyone else has said send him on his own! It’s his mother.

I don’t understand the dramatics tbf. Have a lazy day on your own!!

ILiveInSalemsLot · 30/03/2019 12:44

I’d say don’t go too but if you do go, why do you have to come back so late?
2 hrs to get there, 2-3 hrs there then 2 hrs back.
Even if you left at 11, you could be back by 6 or 7.

GreatDuckCookery · 30/03/2019 12:45

Well if he doesn’t go to see his win mum on Mother’s Day he’s the twat here not you. It’s his mum he’s letting down, hopefully she’s enough about her to see it’s not your fault.

Mrsjayy · 30/03/2019 12:46

Your husband is a huffy tool his poor mother not getting a visit because he went in the huff with you don't get sucked into his drama

faeveren · 30/03/2019 12:47

I never go to see my MIL on Mother’s Day, not since my own mother died. I never do any organising for her, that is up to DH, if she didn’t receive anything or he didn’t see her then that’s his lookout. I do visit at other times in the year but at any time if he said do you want to come and I said no it would be a non issue. Why can’t he happily go on his own?

LordNibbler · 30/03/2019 12:48

Does he have any good points?

Swipe left for the next trending thread