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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be annoyed with dh over Mother's Day.

94 replies

NicoAndTheNiners · 30/03/2019 12:34

MIL lives Nearly 2 hours away. The fact it was Mother's Day escaped my mind until yesterday, I have no mother.

Dh this morning pipes up that he thought we could go and see his mum tomorrow. I could have cried, I'm absolutely knackered. I've had a crazy week at work, coupled with three nights out this week. I have a hectic week at work next week.

I was planning on doing bugger all this weekend apart from snoozing and watching tv. I also have a hospital appt tomorrow morning for a CT scan but it is at 9am so possible to have my appt and then leave.

He hasn't booked a restaurant and obviously we now can't eat out.

I can't take the dog with me.

Dog walker can't come at such late notice and I don't want to leave the dog alone all day.

If we went we wouldn't be home until about 10pm which I hate on a Sunday when I have to be up at 6am the next day for work. I'm tempted to tell dh to go on his own. He's fucked off out by himself for the day now.

OP posts:

dreichuplands · 30/03/2019 15:28

He doesn't sound great OP, send him to his dm. Stay at home and relax.

Hollowvictory · 30/03/2019 15:29

You are ignored and unappreciated by your dh. He doesn't sound very nice tbh what a shame you've hitched your wagon to him.

HedgerowTree · 30/03/2019 15:30

Your update that you have a DD changes things hugely.

Acis · 30/03/2019 15:46

If he tries to pull a sickie again to get out of going on his own, tell him you'll let his mother know that he's lying.

IHateUncleJamie · 30/03/2019 15:46

What? You have a dd? So it’s your Mothers Day too?

Good grief. That makes it 10 times worse. What are his good points??

Boysey45 · 30/03/2019 15:47

Send him to his mothers and tell him to stay there.
What exactly are you getting out of your marriage to him OP?
No I wouldn't go with him tomorrow, you have too much on. He sounds very childish.

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 30/03/2019 15:55

Agree with Greenpop. Its Mother's day for you and DD.
Although Bluntness had a point that he has form for this so it was predictable.
Tell him its not suitable or properly planned and he has to go on his own. or if he won't do that, he needs to organise a replacement visit with all of you on a more suitable day - the point is about visiting her, not adhering to a commercial retail event.
I have had to tell my DH he is responsible for organising cards/presents for impossible to please MIL. And he does. I also enjoyed her phonecall to him insisting that from now on the DC have to send their own separate cards to her and not just send one family card from all of us, as otherwise its as if they haven't made an effort.
The only reason this year's is on time tho is because I told him it was last Sunday.. LOL. She can't tell me off for the cards being too early!! She has been told its DH responsibility but apparently I am the customer services exec who deals with all complaints!

7yo7yo · 30/03/2019 15:55

Why are you with him?
It sounds like you don’t like him very much.
He has not time for you but expects you to do everything around him!
YANBU

LakieLady · 30/03/2019 15:57

Make him go on his own and have a nice chilled day with DD and DDog. If he expects you to accompany him on family visits he needs to give you more notice.

I love my MIL but never go on the Mother's Day visit. My DM died either on Mother's Day morning or the previous evening, and even though it was 9 years ago it still makes me feel a bit maudlin. My MIL understands this.

Iloveacurry · 30/03/2019 16:04

Stay at home and he can go by himself.

Furrydog7 · 30/03/2019 16:11

He can go on his own.

greenpop21 · 30/03/2019 16:26

Duckbilled your MIL sounds like a monster!

greenpop21 · 30/03/2019 16:27

Why are your DC sending your MIL a Mother's Day card?

greenpop21 · 30/03/2019 16:28

Don't even put my name on MIL's card.

Original poster

NicoAndTheNiners · 31/03/2019 12:28

Well dh is still here. I'm back from my hospital appt.

I think he's hoping to have a last ditch attempt at talking me into going but no chance. This is another thing that pisses me off when we do go is that he fannies around for ever and we leave so late that there's barely any point going, and probably explains why we end up getting home so late,

Have also realised Line of Duty starts tonight! Nothing is interfering with that!

OP posts:

greenpop21 · 31/03/2019 14:19

Has he made an effort for you? No idea if your child is old enough to bu a card herself.

Original poster

NicoAndTheNiners · 31/03/2019 15:32

Dd s 18yo. But had no card, no present, nothing.

He came bouncing upstairs about 1pm and asked if I was ready to go. I said I wasn't going. They've left. I've had a much needed nap and just woken up.

OP posts:

MyOtherProfile · 31/03/2019 23:18

You have an 18 yr old who didn't even give you a card? Has this gone in every year? Has your dh ever got dd to do anything for you or does he only ever think of his mum on mother's day?

IvanaPee · 01/04/2019 09:24

Good for you!

I agree 18 is more than old enough to get you a card and even a giant chocolate bar or something!

A word with her too, I think!

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