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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think at 25 I shouldn’t be called a young person

130 replies

User300100 · 29/03/2019 22:17

I’ve been out of university for four years now. I work in a professional career and have a one year old daughter. Today at work I was referred to as a young person by colleague. When I think of young people I think of people who are just getting started in life.

OP posts:

Tinkerbell456 · 30/03/2019 00:14

My husband is 52, I am 54. Ma in law still refers to us as the kids.

YouBumder · 30/03/2019 00:16

YABU and ridiculous.

I classed myself as young until well into my 30s. And in fact my early 40s too

Fridasrage · 30/03/2019 00:18

From one 25 year old to another, we are young. Enjoy this wonderful gift of youth before it corrodes away!

If a colleague refers to you as a young person, that’s not a problem. If your colleague is being otherwise patronising, then there lies the actual issue.

SilverySurfer · 30/03/2019 01:28

I would consider a 25 year old young but then I'm in my 70s so 35 and 45 I also consider young.

GottenGottenGotten · 30/03/2019 01:34

I'm coming close to 50, and someone at work refers to me as 'young gotten'.

And no, it's not sarcasm, he is semi-retired. I'm quite happy with it. And yes, 25 is young.

TomSmitten · 30/03/2019 01:39

I understand how you are feeling but you really are young and despite having plenty of life experience up to this point, you will have so much more over the next 10,15 and 20 years, and beyond. I get that it comes across as patronising though and would personally not use that description for a colleague (to their face! If I'm honest I would describe a 20 year old colleague as a young person).

I am 41. I honestly felt older at 25 than I do now. Partly that was due to having had an incredibly rough few years, but also because I didn't have the context of beginning thr ageing process (and going through the serious life stuff of my 30s) to recognise just how young I really was. I'm still young even though I'm middle aged, but when I speak with my 25 year old colleague I can really see how young she is by comparison.

TomSmitten · 30/03/2019 01:41

... Meant 25 year old colleague, not 20 year old!

OwlBeThere · 30/03/2019 01:44

It’s all relative isn’t it? My neighbour is 93, she tells me I’m a baby and I’m almost 40 .

SocksInPeril · 30/03/2019 01:46

When I was early 20s, I felt the same as you. I thought I was wise beyond my years and felt demeaned by being called a young person.

Now I’m early 30s and revel in being called a young person because actually I am young (and I intent to enjoy my youth whilst I still have it - you should too, OP!).

HoppingPavlova · 30/03/2019 01:49

But that age is still considered as a young person by pretty much any definition, sociological, medical etc. it’s at the upper limit of ‘young person’ but still within it. Typical brain development keeps going until this age which I think factors into the basis of the age range when defining a young person.

What do you want to be called in regards to categorisation when it is necessary (while everyone is an individual and has different experiences that will shape them you do need categories for a lot of purposes)? Typically you go from being a young adult 19-25yo) to adult (26-40) in categories. There’s teenager, middle-aged etc bookending these. How do you want this changed?

7salmonswimming · 30/03/2019 01:50

You are young and lacking in life experience if this kind of comment bothers you enough to MN about it!

StealthPolarBear · 30/03/2019 08:00

Everyone on here likes it but the op is there and knows the context and feels it's a subtle undermining. Which has continued on to here.
There is a definite competitive maturity thing on here, everyone always competes to be the most "old before their years".

Divgirl2 · 30/03/2019 08:04

If you're bothered by being called young then you're definitely a young person. Enjoy it while you can.

Regards,
Old person

StealthPolarBear · 30/03/2019 08:09

You're saying that as if it's a fundamental truth. What if her boss is discounting her opinion because she's just a young person?
Then the patronising continues when she talks about it on here.
Mn whines about ageism yet is happy to pat the head and "there there" a 25 year old with a complaint

StealthPolarBear · 30/03/2019 08:12

Sorry I see it was a colleague rather than boss. I shall go and sit in the silly young person corner.
A lot of these sorts of patronising comments used to be aimed at silly airbrained women. I'm glad society has moved on.

Poloshot · 30/03/2019 08:13

You are, you're just starting out in your career

SleepingStandingUp · 30/03/2019 08:17

Well you ARE a young person. . Oat young people services are up to 25. So not long to wait.

However I get what your saying.
"Oh User is young, I bet she'd know about that"

"Oh User is only young, she wouldn't know anything about that"

Very different comments

Rubberduckies · 30/03/2019 08:21

Meh I'm nearly 29, married, job, house, pregnant. Still young! I'm the youngest at work by several years, including.

Aeroflotgirl · 30/03/2019 08:22

I am 41 and would love to be called a young person, instead I am a tired middle aged bint, enjoy it whilst it lasts.

DailyMailSucksWails · 30/03/2019 08:25

I feel he is saying I don’t have the life experience to comment on certain things due to my age.

I guess it depends what you're talking about. If it's how exciting it was to attend Wembly in 1964, then yes, he's got a point. Or what certain clients prefer coz he may have years of experience you don't.

If he's dismissing you on basis of youth over matter of opinion (eg, best mobile phone or Brexit!) or implying you can't do your job well due to youth, he's probably expressing his own unjustified opinions (latter example could be illegal IIRC).

quietcontentment · 30/03/2019 08:32

You are young at 25. Even if you have been through a lot, your still young. You may have had more experiences than most 25yr olds but again 25 is still young.

I'm 43 an I bet that despite what you have been through the difference will be vast between the 25 yr old you and the 45 yr old you. The way you view your hard times, how you use your different experiences, 20 yrs of work life experience on top of what you have already been through.
No one is knocking your capabilities as a 25 yr old but until your in your 40's you may just not get that you are still young!

MsChookandtheelvesofFahFah · 30/03/2019 08:36

The fact that you are annoyed about it shows how young you are

AbsentmindedWoman · 30/03/2019 08:43

Ah, I feel wistful for my twenties. 25 is definitely young. As someone pointed out it's not the same as immature.

It's been far too long since I've been asked for ID buying booze now I think of it, what if it never happens again

BlueSkiesLies · 30/03/2019 09:01

25 still well and truly counts as a ‘young person’

You’re what, 3 or 4 years maximum into your career? And have had time out for ML already. And you think you know it all?

Enjoy being young. It’s amazing. Your back doesn’t hurt and you have way more energy.

KismetJayn · 30/03/2019 09:25

But people saying they have a point, you'll have less work experience, might not know what clients want...

That's what annoys me! If you started working at 18 you'd have 7 years of experience. If you stayed at the same company I'd expect 7 years in you'd probably know what the clients liked pretty well! Whereas a newcomer switching sector in their 40s would not.

And maybe well use comments about your age to undermine you...

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