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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

So upset about scar on DS

126 replies

fblue · 29/03/2019 21:34

My 2 yo fell on a sharp metal scooter (which my DH had left lying around) and hit his eyebrow. It could have been his eye, we were lucky, and I thought that it was just a scrape and it would heal fine.

For three weeks we have been caring for the wound with Vit E, coconut oil, plasters, and I even bought some special mittens so he would stop picking on the scab before naps and bedtime.
The whole time I was hopeful that because it looked like just a scrape, most of the hairs on the eyebrow would have not been affected and the scar wouldn't be visible.

Today, however, when it is at last almost healed, I could take a closer look and touch the scar, and to my horror I have realised that the skin had actually been cut and folded partially into the wound, so the scar is much worse than I thought, there is a lump under the skin and the hairs won't be growing because the outer layer of the skin is not there anymore!

I feel so guilty that we didn't take him to A&E when it happened, because they would have been able to unfold the skin and stretch it over the wound, and the scar would be much smaller.

I am struggling now, not only with the fact that he will now have a very visible and uneven scar in his eyebrow, but that I did not do enough to prevent it.

I realise that this is not a serious problem, the scar is not even very big, and that he may not care at all as he grows up, but I feel very guilty and sad about it. I am also angry with DH for living the scooter lying around when in the past I warned him not to do it. Any advice on how to move on?

OP posts:
BloodsportForAll · 30/03/2019 00:17

Looks like it'll disappear over time. My youngest split her chin open at school when she was three, playground equipment was icy and wet and they didn't stop the children having access to it. She went to hospital and had paper stitches, I was fuming the school gave her her first scar. But you can't see it now, nearly five years later.

Serin · 30/03/2019 00:19

Massage at least 4 times a day in a circular and cross scar motion. You can use any lotion to massage but silicone ones are the only ones proven to improve scarring.
At night I would apply Scar FX silicone sheeting, you can buy this for around £35 if your hospital wont provide it.
But really for 1cm I wouldn't be too worried.

StillMedusa · 30/03/2019 00:23

I have 4 children and DS1 in particular seemed determined to take himself out of this world with Darwin award worthy stupid accidents as a child. He has been surgically glued on his face for various mishaps too many times... and every scar has faded to be invisible or nearly so.

I had surgery to remove a skin cancer some years ago.. on my upper lip where I was warned I would scar as there wasn't enough skin to make a neat wound. No-one ever notices ...scars really do fade especially in children, and that is a teeny one to start with :)

MazDazzle · 30/03/2019 00:41

My eldest fell and ended up with a pretty severe facial injury. She had an op and plastic surgery, but still had a scar. Like you, we were so lucky as it could have been worse. She could have lost her eye.

3 years later and it is barely noticeable, which is a disappointment for her as she’d love a war wound to back up her story!

Honestly, don’t worry about it. It will improve over time and the chances are your son won’t worry about it. Don’t make a big deal of it with him though or he’ll pick up on it.

Miljah · 30/03/2019 00:51

fblue cut straight from the photo to here.

In the words of the 21st Century's greatest bard:

Let it GOOO.

Since this is AIBU, yes you are. Get a grip. You're being ridiculous over a small mark.

How will this affect him? Will you love him less because the scar isn't 'celebrity' outer edge of eyebrow?...🙄

And very careful of the DH blame game. That 'works' til something happens that YOU could be accused of being able to avoid.

Can you be that perfect for 16 more years?

helacells · 30/03/2019 02:04

Pure shea butter not the lotion will fade it more than anything

Calledyoulastnightfromglasgow · 30/03/2019 06:12

Are you sure the skin has folded as you say? That sounds a bit odd and not likely. Is it not just swollen tissue that will flatten? Definitely see plastics now as if it as you say they can maybe help.

My mum left a rake on the grass which I fell on. I had a similar scar on my head. You could see it quite clearly for years but it vanished when I was early twenties.

Don’t beat yourself up!

Minxmumma · 30/03/2019 06:29

Let it be. As he grows it will fade and become just part of his face.

I have a scar in my eyebrow from throwing myself on a rocking chair runner as a tot. Trust me at 43 no one notices and it really doesn't show.

If you're that bothered by it then request your gp refer to a plastic surgeon but fixing it will probably result in surgery and more scarring at least in the short term. That's is they think it is necessary.

Don't blame your DH. It was an accident. No one is perfect and your LO could fall over empty space tomorrow on your watch and hurt himself - it's what kids do.

Equimum · 30/03/2019 07:17

Okay, when my eldest was about 10m old, he climbed on low box in his bedroom, slipped and split about 2cm of skin along his jawline. In a complete panic, I rushed him to A&E, where I was told that although it was quite open it wasn’t deep, and would just need a steristrip. He still has a scar, but it is just a very feint line.

Since then, he has acquired a similar scar just above his eyebrow, from falling a landing on something at nursery. He was seen at the walk-in clinic and again, given steristrips which has fallen off within a few hours. He also cracked his chin open a couple of years ago when he ran along a path, slipped and hit it on the edge of step. We cleaned and sterile-stripped that one ourselves.

In all of these cases, there is a scar, but over time they have faded to white-silver lines, and my son loves highlighting them to people and sharing the stories of how he acquired them.

So, my point are:

  1. don’t feel awful about it - these things happen
  2. don’t worry about the lasting damage. Kids skin heals very well and he will love sharing the story
ILoveBray · 30/03/2019 07:18

OP please don't worry about it, it is so small.

My daughter had a very large scar between her nose and mouth where her cleft lip was repaired. It was dark red and very noticeable, but a year later it's almost invisible (please see the picture).
We didn't even put anything on it as she wouldn't tolerate it.

3 weeks is nothing when it comes to scars healing.

So upset about scar on DS
Teateaandmoretea · 30/03/2019 07:25

The scar is practically non existent already. If you'd gone to a and e with such a little cut I doubt they'd have done anything anyway.

Yabu to be upset over something so minor

ittakes2 · 30/03/2019 07:25

That will heal - just make sure it has sunscreen on it because the new skin will be more sensitive and will darkened. I doubt he will notice it when he is older - but if he does he can have treatments - I used to have crystal clear dermabrasion on my face and when I burnt my arm the therapist also did my arm scar (20p size) and it was reduced to nothing.

PippilottaLongstocking · 30/03/2019 07:29

I had a scar that looked like it had healed very unevenly, it was really deep and the two sides of skin hadn’t lined up properly so I thought I was going to have a permanent ridge. Within a year it had become totally smooth and just a fine white line. I also have an eyebrow scar where the hair doesn’t grow and people seem to think it’s cool!

CosyAsAToasty · 30/03/2019 07:31

My DC has a scar on her tummy form surgery at 6wks, scars from 2 split knees and a scar in her eyebrow from falling on a table edge. SO what, part of growing up.

TooGood2BeFalse · 30/03/2019 07:40

It can be a hard thing to judge, I would still go and ask for advice.My eldest cut the bridge of his nose on the coffee table aged 2, needed 5 stitches.It looked horrendous.At 7, its almost completely faded.Only family know its there as they remember me running through A and E shoeless, braless and hysterical with a bleeding toddler Blush

Lsmota · 18/10/2020 14:03

@fblue How has your son’s scar settled? I’m going through a similar scenario with my little one and am ridden with guilt. Looking for hope that the scar will fade.

Sceptre86 · 18/10/2020 14:14

You could try putting honey on it to help the healing process or there is a manuka honey rescue cream that i have used on my dd's face which prevented scarring. It is usually parents that are more bothered about this kind of thing than kids tbh.

Florencex · 18/10/2020 14:31

When I was 3 I thought I would be able to fly if I flapped my arms so I jumped off a very high cupboard and ended up biting through my lip. The blood was horrendous as lips bleed a lot and I was taken to hospital by my parents. But there is not a lot they can do about a lip, certainly not in the 70s.

Forty seven years later I still have a white scar in my lip and it has a lump, probably not particularly noticeable to people unless I pointed it out, then it would be. It is just me, it is part of my history, I get to retell my flying story. It’s no big deal.

Florencex · 18/10/2020 14:33

Oh no I have failed to notice yet again...

Zombie thread

RB68 · 18/10/2020 15:19

We get upset about these things - My DD had a 1 inch gash under her eyebrow after being hit in the face by the loo door but because they were off on a trip with nursery she just got them to put a plaster on it by the time she was home it was too late to do anything about and she has a scar but its an irregularity not something to have a drama over. (I was amazed they didn't call me in to sort her (we were near a&e) and their response was she wouldn't let them call me - my eyebrows raised at that point!!!

Iamthedevilinthedetail · 18/10/2020 15:30

My sister had a scar on her lip after falling. The hospital had stitched it up but had left some stone in it. She asked doc to get it reopened and restitched and now she has an almost negligible mark. It's possible some cosmetic surgeon could help.

mumof1879 · 18/10/2020 15:49

It will fade in time. I have horrendous scarring from an accident that required skin grafts. It happened almost two years ago and the scarring is bad, but has improved so much. And even if it didn’t fade, it’s part of who he is and tells a story. My scars don’t and won’t ever define me, and nor will his.

buildingbridge · 18/10/2020 15:57

Please put Vaseline over the scar and use a plaster to seal in the moisture. You do not want the scar to scab. You can also use a hydrocolloid dressing over the wound.

Once the wound has healed, out sunscreen over the scar for at least a year to stop discolouration

LavaCake · 18/10/2020 15:58

Next time take him to a doctor. Coconut oil is not a suitable wound treatment.

Scars often fade - it may look bad now but get much better over time, especially as he is young.

buildingbridge · 18/10/2020 15:59

This is an old thread. slaps forehead

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