So upset about scar on DS

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My 2 yo fell on a sharp metal scooter (which my DH had left lying around) and hit his eyebrow. It could have been his eye, we were lucky, and I thought that it was just a scrape and it would heal fine.

For three weeks we have been caring for the wound with Vit E, coconut oil, plasters, and I even bought some special mittens so he would stop picking on the scab before naps and bedtime.
The whole time I was hopeful that because it looked like just a scrape, most of the hairs on the eyebrow would have not been affected and the scar wouldn't be visible.

Today, however, when it is at last almost healed, I could take a closer look and touch the scar, and to my horror I have realised that the skin had actually been cut and folded partially into the wound, so the scar is much worse than I thought, there is a lump under the skin and the hairs won't be growing because the outer layer of the skin is not there anymore!

I feel so guilty that we didn't take him to A&E when it happened, because they would have been able to unfold the skin and stretch it over the wound, and the scar would be much smaller.

I am struggling now, not only with the fact that he will now have a very visible and uneven scar in his eyebrow, but that I did not do enough to prevent it.

I realise that this is not a serious problem, the scar is not even very big, and that he may not care at all as he grows up, but I feel very guilty and sad about it. I am also angry with DH for living the scooter lying around when in the past I warned him not to do it. Any advice on how to move on?

Thank you for all the reassuring responses. You have give me hope that it will become less visible with time although it will probably always be noticeable because it will cause a bald spot in the eyebrow.

I would feel much better if the scar was on the outer side of the eyebrow as some famous people have, but this one is right at the beginning of the eyebrow (by the nose bridge) and it is more of a thick boomerang shape bald area than a thin line.

Over time I'll get used to it but I think I will always feel guilty!

It’s fine, OP- these things happen. And it will almost certainly improve and become practically invisible as he grows. But don’t put coconut oil on wounds.

I totally get this. DD fell face first onto a rocky floor a few months ago while at school. It's left a scar on her forehead. I'm massively hopeful that it will disappear as she gets older but it's one of those situations. I'm devastated that my PFB's face is marked, they're perfect in our eyes. On the other hand she's very into Harry Potter and it's almost a lightning shape, so she loves it! Swings and roundabouts I guess!

Keep an eye on it for infection. The doctor stitched up my nieces injury on her eyebrow and sealed in an infection. Ended up needing a minor op. Scar is fine though. Don’t beat yourself up. Nobody is perfect!

In any case, I have posted this here to get some advice on how to move on, not to have people criticise me and try to make me feel worse! Please be kind.

you know you posted in AIBU??

Don't stress about the scar.. My oldest DS15 is scar city and he loves telling the tales of where they all came from. He also enjoys heaping guilt on his dad for one of them.
He has :

• one on face under temple from falling off a parked ride on mower at 18 months ( under DH's care). Not stitched, needed stitching.I was away. It's a divot about 2 cm in circumference.
• a split eyebrow from DS2 pitching a water pistol at his head. Glued together. Small white scar - missing a couple of eyebrow hairs
• a split eyelid from running into a door knob - 4 micro stitches - can't see unless eye closed.
• three 10 cm scars on either side of chest - from chest surgery - very noticeable.
• one swastika scar from a chest tube from same surgery ( that he thinks is funny ). Also very noticeable.
• one chunk out of his shin from a graze he did, falling over a corner safety guard wire thing on a road. Epic full body somersault. Took 8 weeks to heal as the area had had a huge flood a couple of weeks before and some form of toxic bacteria got in the wound and ate it down to the bone. We were at the doctors twice weekly for wound care,medications, and nearly in hospital for IV antibiotic's. It's a big one, and there is no tissue left other than skin.Maybe 15 cm long and three wide. Straight through to the bone.No leg hairs in that spot. Very noticeable.

BUT.
Take him to the Dr earlier next time if a would is slow to heal and near the eye. I'd have been freaking out after about 4 days max. And Manuka honey would've been a better bet than coconut oil btw.

I have a massive split on my chin from when I thought I was an Olympic gymnast (still sometimes do when I've had a wine or two ), a few chicken pox scars around my hairline and a weird scar that looks like someone's tried to take a tiny small spoon and gouge a bit of my forehead out from falling out of a horse box when I was 4. They have not affected me in life at all. Other than making me a bit more cautious jumping out of horse boxes wearing wellies onto gravel

Be careful your son doesn't pick up on your issues. They are very perceptive and if you are makimg a fuss over a little mark, he will pick up on that and start seeing it as a big deal when it really isn't.

I caught my son's head on a cupboard door. A&E glued his skin back together but he has a visible scar on the top of his head where the hair doesn't grow. No one cares. I feel horrible guilty every time I see it because it was completely my fault but no one else even sees it.

JassyRadlett, thanks for the tip, I will find out if scar massage can still help.

daffodiltalk, thank you for the advise. I wrote it on here where he won't see it instead of telling him, because I could use some advise on how to stop being angry

It's probably not as bad as you think it is. CN you post a picture without showing the DCs face? Just the brow?

Ah it will fade. I promise. They aren't that keen to stich these day in my experience and you'd likely have been sent off with a big butterfly plaster anyway. You saved ds sitting in a&e while upset.

Scars there are actually pretty common, guess because it sticks out? I used to have one but it's disappeared in the past few years.

My son had a big scar on the back of his leg aged 2. He is now 8 and the other day I tried to point it out to someone in the process of telling them the story of how he got it, I couldnt even find it, it had faded that much!

You can buy silicone cream for post scar treatment. Its about £25 on Amazon. My daughter's plastic surgeon recommended it to us after she had a facial operation which resulted in a scar.

Take him to the GP. If the skin that has folded into the wound has hair follicles, they could continue to grow within the wound, resulting in infection.

Also, you shouldn't be putting oils onto a wound until the scab has come off.

Dd has a inch long scar on her forehead from falling off the sofa onto a wooden play kitchen.

It's quite a deep one, she spent the night in hospital. But only had butterfly stitches.

I hope it might fade. She had a cracking round chicken pox scar on her eye too but I was looking for it the other day and noticed it had gone!

So there is hope yet. Will try bio oil I think ?

You've just reminded me that my three year old had a horrible cut to her chin, which left a very obvious scar which I worried about for quite a while

I've only just realised she doesn't have a scar on her chin now (she's 30). I have no idea when it disappeared.

Have a look at www.scienceofskin.com/. l got some when l had my hip replacement and my scar is amazingly good. You can hardly see it.

If it helps OP, my two year old DS recently fell and cut his forehead. We took him to a minor injuries unit and despite it being glued and our constant attempts to keep his little nails clawing at it, he pulled the scab off multiple times and the scar is also bigger than I anticipated.

Even if something had been done to the wound by medical staff you may still have had the same outcome. It sounds like you have done your best for your little one.

I think most people have a scar or two, I'm sure it will be less noticeable and prominent over time. Try not to berate yourself as it won't do you any good at all and won't change anything.

DS2 has just had chicken pox and some of his scars are awful

We’re using bio oil every morning and kelo-cote (silicone gel) every night. Even 2 weeks in and there is a slight difference in appearance.

Here is a photo. The area is healed, just still pink. There was never an infection and I am surprised that some of you say coconut oil can cause an infection, since I was using it because it was recommended as an antibacterial and to help the skin heal, together with vitamin E.

I looked into bio oil but it has soya as one of the ingredients, and DS has a soya hypersensitivity.

katseyes7, thanks for the link

Jason Momoa has an eyebrow scar towards the inner side. Hasn’t stopped him being one of the sexiest men on the planet.

I used to work on a burns unit where we did a lot of scar management. For all scars, once healed as in the skin was no longer broken /delicate, the advice was to massage firmly with a thumb twice a day using your usual moisturiser.
The scar will continue to heal waaaay way past 3 weeks. It will keep healing for many months and fade gradually. I imagine in a 2 year old it will almost disappear by the time he's old enough to be bothered by it. I would try not to worry.

If it makes you feel any better, I saw horrific and awful scars on faces and chests of toddlers having pulled cups of tea /hot pans of water etc on top of themselves that parents had unwittingly left within reach, often when child had just started standing or walking for the first time and so parents weren't prepared. Complete accidents though, and children's skin burns more easily so it wouldn't even need to be a very hot cup of tea. Parents hysterical /overwhelmed with guilt /in need of counselling. My point is, it could be much, much, much worse!

In the grand scheme of things a scar to his eye brow hopefully will be small and unnoticeable in time. It was an accident, your DH wasn't to know DC would hurt himself on it and would never have left it there and I bet he wishes if he could go back in time he'd have picked it up. Imagine how you would feel if it was you that left it? You'd feel terrible. Im sure DH feels terrible too, no dad would want to hurt their son. Let it slide, and don't blame him - think how you'd want to be treated if you'd left it... You'd want reassurance It was an accident and they happen all the time... Because it was.

Hope that's of some help xxx

Massage is good. Also when my DS had his cheek split open (about 4cm from corner of his mouth to centre of his cheek) by his brother kicking a football at him (), we were given some cream by the doctors which is supposed to reduce scarring (he had paediatric plastic surgery, too - it was bad). Check with the GP whether it's worth trying that.
Tbh, my DS's scar is actually hardly visible now - he was 2 at the time - in spite of its prominent location. The skin is very good at healing at that age.
FWIW, I have 2 scars in my eyebrows, no hair on them. I don't think most people notice - if they do, no-one ever says anything.

Aww OP just seen the pic. Looking at that, and from my experience with scars (including surgical ones) I think that will be completely gone in time. It at least won't be noticeable.
From what you'd said I thought it was going to be huge!
Xxx

Don't beat yourself up about it. In the moment it is easy to think it's small, it's not deep etc. It's a learning curve. You will learn which injuries need seeing to by minors/a&e - not worth taking injuries to a gp in the first place as they won't deal with it. However, next time you are at gp mention it for them to look at given it's near enough healed. They will advise if anything does need doing or could be done to benefit in future.

Dd2 has a lumpy scar next to her eyebrow where she fell aged 4, breaking her glasses frame into a sharp point which dug in - as with yours, lucky she didn't catch her eye.

She has the scar because when we took her to minor injuries, she fought it being examined, butterfly stitched and glued - we had to hug her tightly. Had we have taken her to a&e they would have stitched it but minors couldn't as they didn't have the facility. They said It probably should have been stitched. We didn't feel we could put her through the added distress of a second hospital visit.

Over time it has definitely got less lumpy, I guess as she has grown and 'stretched' it. Now we only see it when we look for it and this is 3 years later.