So upset about scar on DS

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My 2 yo fell on a sharp metal scooter (which my DH had left lying around) and hit his eyebrow. It could have been his eye, we were lucky, and I thought that it was just a scrape and it would heal fine.

For three weeks we have been caring for the wound with Vit E, coconut oil, plasters, and I even bought some special mittens so he would stop picking on the scab before naps and bedtime.
The whole time I was hopeful that because it looked like just a scrape, most of the hairs on the eyebrow would have not been affected and the scar wouldn't be visible.

Today, however, when it is at last almost healed, I could take a closer look and touch the scar, and to my horror I have realised that the skin had actually been cut and folded partially into the wound, so the scar is much worse than I thought, there is a lump under the skin and the hairs won't be growing because the outer layer of the skin is not there anymore!

I feel so guilty that we didn't take him to A&E when it happened, because they would have been able to unfold the skin and stretch it over the wound, and the scar would be much smaller.

I am struggling now, not only with the fact that he will now have a very visible and uneven scar in his eyebrow, but that I did not do enough to prevent it.

I realise that this is not a serious problem, the scar is not even very big, and that he may not care at all as he grows up, but I feel very guilty and sad about it. I am also angry with DH for living the scooter lying around when in the past I warned him not to do it. Any advice on how to move on?

can hardly see it even close up

ive got a scar in the middle of my forehead twice as long doesnt bother me

That'll fade to nothing, almost certainly.

Aww scars are all part of growing up, each one tells it's own story. Don't be so hard on yourself.

I was imagining it to be much worse than it is! It's nothing! the scar will absolutely fade and when he has man hairs on his eyebrows the length of them will cover any tiny bald area. Ds got a burn 2 summers ago. It was minor but left a big red mark on his leg. A good 4cm x 3cm area. It was really red and noticeable for months. 2 years on it's faded immensely. I know it will be almost invisible when he's older and then he'll get hairy legs anyway, but I can relate to the guilt and anger. Such perfect skin and then that happened. I of course never let on to him how I felt and we were v lucky it wasn't worse, but you will feel better as you see it fade. Scars are part of life, I've got tons and they don't bother me.

Scars continue to remodel and improve for at least 6 months. Having looked at your photo that will be barely visible when he is an adult, he will grow, the scar will contract.
I say that as a mother of a girl who was horribly accident prone including one in the middle of her fore head that was 7cm long and had visible bone showing ( took two trips to minor injuries to just stop the bleeding). All have fade to barely visible and are going in no way impair her desired career in showbiz.

He's very young and it will fade . I had a bad accident in my twenties very big scar on face 2 inch by 3inch L shape first few years got asked if I'd been glassed few times took 5 years for it to settle down but now hardly noticeable . Scars on men are hardly noticed

I had a cyst removed from my eyelid when I was litlte; about 12. The scar has faded massively; it twitches when I’m tired but no one sees it but I feel it. Give it time; you’ll not notice it.

That doesn't look too bad at all OP. It's tiny. I also think that when it's properly healed the eyebrow hairs may well grow back. Even if they don't the hairs around it will thicken as he gets older and will probably cover any gaps.

I think your emotions over the (slight) anger with your dh and guilt over the what ifs and why didn't you are mixing with the actual look of the scar and heightening it.if that makes sense.
so every time you see it or think of it your thinking too of the emotions of the above.guilt shame anger aaaargh look a the scar!!
but you don't need guilt or anger kids hurt themselves.we all trip over stupidly put things its part of life and being a family get pissed in the instance then let it go because shit does happe.and if your dh loves him and it wasn't on purpose he doesn't deserve to be flamed for it and enither do you.
your upset shows you love him dearly so just move on and carry on.it makes him even more unique.
for whats its worth too.my dig wripped my under eye open when she jumped up(bless her little face when she did it!)and I had a red scar.didnt bother me then.and now I don't think I could spot it.skin grows and shapes.
and even if it is there.it really will be nothing to him if you don't make it so.
he will only pick up on him being scarred if you hold onto it.
you've done nothing wrong.
be gentle to yourself and just go cuddle him and carry on.

That scar will be tiny when he reaches his teens.

Stop worrying.

Scars add character. Look at Harry Potter!

My ds wears glasses and has done since he was about 18 months old.

When he was 3 he was out for lunch with dp and mil, and messing about, slipped off the seat and under the table, catching his glasses on the table on the way down.

He had a hefty scrape from where his nose pads sit to above his eyebrow almost to his hairline. It looked just like a graze so we thought nothing of it and didn't think it would scar as it didn't look deep, but scarred quite badly, a long thin indentation that is still visible now he is five. It is much smaller though and seems to be fading as he grows so I have hope that it will be invisible eventually.

Don't think I will ever forgive either dp or mil though, no matter how unreasonable that may be.

I don’t want to be unsympathetic because I would be exactly the same i imagine (my baby isn’t at that stage yet) but I just saw the picture and you really have nothing to worry about! That will heal. You are VERY early on in the healing process
I spilt my forehead open and had a very nasty wound. It faded every year. I won’t post a picture of my forehead now as you will just think ‘it must have been a tiny cut’ and I don’t have one of the wound. You would not believe it.

Children heal amazingly
Thick vitamin E oil and regular massages once healed was what my mum told
Me she did

Ah, sorry Crossfitgirl. I did say it was 1 cm at most, the problem is the very prominent location on his eyebrow, and the loss of hairs but I know it is not a huge scar.

Thank you all again for your sympathetic responses, it has cheered me to think that it may fade, that my DS won't mind, and that I will get used to it and feel less guilty over time. I will look at scar massage to minimize the lump.

Sorry to hear about some of your or your DC injuries (specially poor Peopleshouldread's DS15) but glad to hear they healed fine.

Don’t worry, there’s a good chance it’ll fade/minimise as your child grows (and even if it doesn’t, it’s just one of those childhood things and - as you said - could’ve been much worse!)

Our son, 4, tripped at school and now has a small but noticeable scar on his cheekbone. We had to take him to the hospital to get the wound closed and I was surprised/annoyed at how every person (triage, nurses, etc) we met made a fuss over how he’d have a scar/what a shame it was. Maybe out of politeness, Idk. Tbh I was just relieved he’d not broken his nose or lost an eye! Occasionally DP and I do wish it wasn’t there but: whatever, we never say that around him and I don’t think he even notices the scar himself in the mirror.

Coconut oil is not an anti bacterial.

My brother hit me with a toy metal pistol when I was about 3. It scarred my forehead but it was barely noticeable by the time I was 10

DS fell onto the corner of a radiator aged 2 and got a nasty cut on his eyebrow. He's grown up now and you cannot see the scar at all. I have a small scar on my eyebrow thanks to an accident with a sharp stone aged 7, but you'd never know unless you were looking for it. I think there's a very good chance that it will indeed fade as he grows.

This is my ds's scar, and it does make me sad/a bit angry

I love my scars. Like a PPs son, I have loads. They all have a tale, they are all part of me.

Some aren’t that nice aesthetically, but I don’t care. They are all a piece of my story.

DH has a massive scar on his eyebrow. That is part of his story.

In the nicest way. Stop worrying.

Don't use Bio Oil, it's pretty useless apart from helping to massage a scar. Silicone gel is the only product clinically proven to reduce the appearance of scars.

I do understand why it feels so emotional to you, and why you feel cross with your DH, but genuinely it would be best to try and let that go. Both of my children have facial scars from accidents that I witnessed (and couldn't get to them in time to prevent) and DS's scar is deep and has cut through his cheek muscle. However I've forced myself to stop dwelling on it, it won't help reduce the scars or help any of us emotionally.

I'm covered in scars. Each one has a story.

He's going to grow up to be a bloke OP. What is the problem?

With those gorgeous eye lashes no one’s going to notice that tiny mark! He’s positively edible!

I had a small surgery on my face. The consultant told me I could waste my money on specialist cream if I wanted to, or I could just massage it (once healed over) with any moisturiser. He said it’s the firm massaging that helps stop the scaring.

I was good the first week, pretty good the second week...kept forgetting by week 3! Mine was way bigger than your DS’s, way deeper than your DS’s and my body/skin isn’t as young and healthy as your DS’s and you can still barely see where they cut a chunk out!

You really do need to stop worrying.

As for DH. It’s bloody frustrating when you ask someone not to do something where you can see the danger and they still do it, so I totally understand you being angry, but TRY to let it go as he can’t undo it now and hopefully he’s learnt to be more careful about where he leave stuff and to listen. But honestly, be kind - because next time it could just as easily be you that’s not done something you could have to prevent an accident and you’d hope DH wouldn’t hold it against you.

It’s absolutely tiny and quite a fortunate position in the sense that it’s basically in his eyebrow. But also 3 weeks is nothing in the context of a wound/scar healing! I reckon in a couple of months you’ll barely see it.

Tom Hardy and Jason Mamoa have both got scars though their eyebrows. So has Stephanie Beatriz from "Brooklyn Nine Nine." Hasn't hurt them.