WIBU? Asked fellow customer to turn down the music on her phone in a busy coffee shop

[Gazelda]

Its a busy coffee shop with a chilled atmosphere and background classical music

Lady at next table was playing music loudly on her phone.

I said "excuse me, your music is quite disturbing" before I went any further she nodded and turned it off. I apologised and got back to my coffee.

But I got some filthy looks from other customers. Was I rude?

Not at all, she should have had earphones in

Totally agree with you - in public places you use headphones.

Good on you, even those with headphones and still deafening everyone pisses me off.

I would have done the same. Its the arrogance of these people that bothers me the most.
No way would I expect other people to want to listen to my choice of music. So rude.

@Gazelda she sounded like she handled it well- it's the other customers giving dirty looks.

I probably wouldn't have said anything because I hate confrontation but I'd be glad you asked her to turn it down.

You obviously weren't unreasonable to ask the other customer to stop playing music without earphones. However, the coffee shop was being unreasonable to play background music. I don't understand why so many people and businesses think other people want to listen to their choice of music.

No. She was, but at least she turned it off.

No. I completely agree. If someone is listening to music on their phone in public, then they should have headphones in.

It probably wasn’t dirty looks at you tbh.

Of course it was not unreasonable of you to ask her to turn it off. I am guessing that you are imagining the dirty looks though, MN seems to be full of people who receive filthy looks from strangers in public when in reality this just doesn't happen. Strangers care a whole lot less about you than you think in general.

It sounds like the two of you were perfectly reasonable in and civilised in your exchange.

Not unreasonable, good for you!

Are you sure the dirty looks were directed at you? I'd have been delighted with you for saying something so would probably have grinned like a loon, but might have been giving her a dirty look to start with.

When she responded so promptly, they wished they had spoken up.

However, the coffee shop was being unreasonable to play background music. I don't understand why so many people and businesses think other people want to listen to their choice of music.

But you would know that's what they do and could choose whether or not to go there.

Personally I like it

Why would the other customers be giving you dirty looks, unless they where her friends.

Other people’s music is always annoying, so would imagine other customers would be made up someone asked her to turn it off.

Are you sure they were dirty looks? More likely admiring/grateful looks!

People who play tinny music through their phones are dicks.

I haven't worked out yet why this particular etiquette issue is taking so long to actually filter through. I mean, it didn't take that long for people to realise that chatting to their friends on their phones in restaurants was rude, for example. And yet, the sheer number of people who happily watch videos/movies/youtube or listen to music or use their phone on speaker while in public places never ceases to amaze me. I find it happens a lot on busses. Almost every time i get on a bus these days someone is watching something, loudly, on their phone.

Sounds like they were more "omg that was annoying, thank you" kind of looks

Anyone who doesn’t use headphones when they are in a public area and want to listen to music is being rude

Quite. So you did the right thing Op. If I'd been another custmer, I would have thanked you (or beaten you to it).

I was in a naice cocktail/lounge bar in London, and a woman about 3 tables away was watching some tv show or other on her phone at full volume.

Everyone was shooting daggers at her, but no fucker was speaking up (least of all staff).

So I loudly, but politely, asked her to turn it down. She looked very shocked - whether at the realisation she was disturbing anyone or that somebody confronted her, I don't know.

Was nice and quiet after that though.

Then pound shop Katie Price opposite me last night on the train had her headphones so loud it was disturbing. I started to watch something on my phone and hadn't paired my phones properly so it came out of the speaker she had the cheek to scowl at me! WTAF

I think some people are just completely unaware that other people do not want to listen to their phones/music. I don't know if they simply don't care or if they were never taught to be considerate of others. I would have no hesitation asking somebody to turn down loud music/phones. None whatsoever!