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AIBU?

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Original poster

He should have got her a cab first (before his own)

999 replies

Jalila07 · 27/03/2019 14:35

Hi, in a desperate attempt to find relief from Brexit, we’re here having lunch and discussing my friend’s date last weekend.

Ladies of MN, please may we put it to you for the casting vote as we’re in some disagreement. To cut a longish story short, the date had gone well until they were on Charing Cross Rd and his Uber came first so he got in it and just left my friend standing on the street!

Now he’s texting her to meet again. She’s inclined to not bother, I feel as if I agree with her, but two others here think she should give him another chance (citing excuses such as traffic, it’s hard for cabs to stop, etc).

WIBU? Shouldn’t he have called her a cab and seen her off before just sailing off into the night? By the way, we are all early 40s so she can’t be bothered messing about.

Thankyou in advance.

OP posts:
cherrryontop · 27/03/2019 15:16

She says what you can do, when an uber comes, is ask to change the destination. I’ve done this loads actually - they just reset it for you. So he could have done that?

He still would have ended up paying for it. Why should he?

ladybee28 · 27/03/2019 15:16

FGS, OP, you have got to be trolling now.

Read the thread.

NoCauseRebel · 27/03/2019 15:16

I once went to an event in Mayfair in London. When i came out all the other people had gone their separate ways and I didn’t particularly want to stand out on the street waiting for a cab so I walked from there to Charing Cross station. On my own. At 11:30 at night. And although it wasn’t a date I’d been on surprisingly I still managed to do it and get home to where I live without a man to make sure that I did so safely.

If I went on a date I would probably tell the man to let me know that they’d got home ok and would think it nice if they wanted to know the same of me. But to stay around and book me a cab and pay for it? If they did I might think it was sweet of them (well the waiting for me to go first but not the paying) but I certainly wouldn’t ever consider not doing so to be a red flag or that not expecting the man to pay to be me looking desperate. How on earth do people arrive at those conclusions?

IvanaPee · 27/03/2019 15:16

No, I really, really think she should leave him alone.

She sounds awful. As do you, to be frank. There’s something really off-putting about such faux-helpless, entitled women. Fucks me right off.

multiplemum3 · 27/03/2019 15:17

You and your friend sound so ridiculously dramatic. Why has he got to go to her for a second date? Still haven't got uber figured out?

InfiniteSheldon · 27/03/2019 15:17

I think he's shown a bit of bad manners for all if you saying it's no different to her leaving him on his own of course it is. Women are far more at risk than men most men recognise that and at least show a bit of care. However Ubers are linked to the individual so he really couldn't have stayed once he called it.

My dh wouldn't have called himself an Uber until I was safely in one because he treasures me if you want a man who treasures you ditch this one. If you think men and women are exactly the same with exactly the same chances, risks, needs and opportunities then give Mr bitofanarsebutnottotalarse another go

Namechangeforthiscancershit · 27/03/2019 15:17

She says what you can do, when an uber comes, is ask to change the destination. I’ve done this loads actually - they just reset it for you. So he could have done that?

But then he would have had to pay for her journey and wouldn't have been able to book his own until she got home surely?

Honestly I wouldn't meet him again. I think their expectations are waaay apart and that way lies heartbreak

ChocChocButtons · 27/03/2019 15:17

Perhaps he could of waited for her to get safely in a cab first but I don’t think it’s worth not seeing him again.

IvanaPee · 27/03/2019 15:17

We don't all live in London where things are nice and safe .....

But the subjects of the thread do, so your point isn’t really relevant here, is it?

Jessgalinda · 27/03/2019 15:17

I'm guessing the views on this will be heavily influenced by age

My mum is 62 and would think exepecting a man to wait was ridiculous.

So do I, i am 37.

So what age do you think find this normal?

maggiecate · 27/03/2019 15:18

If he'd hailed a black cab from the kerbside then it would have been polite to offer her it, but Uber doesn't work like that. And expecting him to pay her fare home?!?! Good grief...

tinytemper66 · 27/03/2019 15:18

Who is he? Can we warn him off this pathetic woman?

thebabessavedme · 27/03/2019 15:18

stevie, i'm 56 if that helps - and I can call my own cab, walk into a pub on my own, eat dinner on my own, I think my dh would think I had gone mad if i suddenly became a clinging drip.

WhatToDoAboutWailmerGoneRogue · 27/03/2019 15:18

She says what you can do, when an uber comes, is ask to change the destination. I’ve done this loads actually - they just reset it for you. So he could have done that?

Nope. You book an Uber through the app using an account. That has your bank details, because you’ve already paid for it, and your name and destination.

You can change the destination IF the same people are still travelling. You cannot just swap one person for another; that could lead to a whole load of trouble considering the information you have access to of the driver when you book an Uber.

Not to mention the fact that he’d already paid for his Uber and would need to do so again if that were even possible.

RosaWaiting · 27/03/2019 15:18

OP "Anyway, do people think she should get him to come her way before she goes up there?"

not a euphemism Grin

stevie69 · 27/03/2019 15:19

So what age do you think find this normal?

52!

bengalcat · 27/03/2019 15:19

Wouldn’t bother me . However if she likes him I’d meet up again and if it bothers her then ask him to delay calling his cab until she’s gone .

deathbycats · 27/03/2019 15:19

Well normally you would pay a date’s fare home

Since when? On what planet??

HeathRobinson · 27/03/2019 15:19

So did he order an Uber and then tell her he had? Rather than saying beforehand? Because I think that is rude and I'm all right Jack, pull up the ladder!

Jessgalinda · 27/03/2019 15:19

But then he would have had to pay for her journey and wouldn't have been able to book his own until she got home surely

Clearly she wanted him to pay for her can as well.

What a cheeky fucker

Magenta82 · 27/03/2019 15:20

Well normally you would pay a date’s fare home. It’s not essential, but I think most would. It’s only a few miles, not Scotland.

The only time this ever happened to me was when I was about 23 and was hooking up with a much older, much richer man. We had dinner, both had some very enjoyable sex and I got a cab home. It certainly wouldn't meet most people's definition of dating and neither of us was looking to start a relationship.

If you want a relationship then you need to start out on even terms.

emotionalaffair · 27/03/2019 15:20

Bonkers. The poor bloke has had a lucky escape. YABU.

ColeHawlins · 27/03/2019 15:20

I don't care if he comes her way, she goes up his, or they both go up each other's, TBH.

TheGirlWhoLived · 27/03/2019 15:21

Can’t imagine why she is divorced

Bringbackthestripes · 27/03/2019 15:21

Well normally you would pay a date’s fare home. It’s not essential, but I think most would. It’s only a few miles, not Scotland.

WTH? Why should she expect to have her fare home paid for her?!

Anyway, do people think she should get him to come her way before she goes up there?

I think she should not see her date again, let him meet someone who isn’t so much hard work.

But then I’m guessing the date was you and not a friend.

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