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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

He should have got her a cab first (before his own)

999 replies

Jalila07 · 27/03/2019 14:35

Hi, in a desperate attempt to find relief from Brexit, we’re here having lunch and discussing my friend’s date last weekend.

Ladies of MN, please may we put it to you for the casting vote as we’re in some disagreement. To cut a longish story short, the date had gone well until they were on Charing Cross Rd and his Uber came first so he got in it and just left my friend standing on the street!

Now he’s texting her to meet again. She’s inclined to not bother, I feel as if I agree with her, but two others here think she should give him another chance (citing excuses such as traffic, it’s hard for cabs to stop, etc).

WIBU? Shouldn’t he have called her a cab and seen her off before just sailing off into the night? By the way, we are all early 40s so she can’t be bothered messing about.

Thankyou in advance.

OP posts:
Jessgalinda · 27/03/2019 18:32

Thats just my personal opinion...(and my OHs too)

Alert! A man has spoken.....so mumsnet...you are all wrong. We can stop the debate right there! No need to carry on!Confused

Tartanwarrior · 27/03/2019 18:32

It's too soon for her to go to his...

How did she get to the firsr date? If she got there, presumably she can get home...

Slimmer2018 · 27/03/2019 18:32

What's next? men having to wear capes to place on the ground so the woman can walk over puddles? hmm

Yes this if you want to see me again 😘👍

Ie - it’s a first date, try hard to impress me

StealthPolarBear · 27/03/2019 18:33

Before anyone asks I am bored, yes. I'm in a train station waiting for a man to appear and escort me to my train. On the outside, nearest the tracks, obviously.

StealthPolarBear · 27/03/2019 18:33

Do you do the Cape thing to impress him? If not why not

SkinnyPete · 27/03/2019 18:34

Think about it because if there's no logical reason

Learned and biological influences. Is it logical in this day and age? Not really. Is it logical in terms of human evolution, well, yes.

Paying for someone's cab back is ott though.

SchnitzelVonKrumm · 27/03/2019 18:34

Well normally you would pay a date’s fare home. It’s not essential, but I think most would. I've never heard of anyone doing this. I'm nearly 50. I'd find it weird and controlling. Are you,sure you're not confusing "date" with "escort"?

RosaWaiting · 27/03/2019 18:35

OP I'm genuinely curious about the "sending a cab" thing, is that par for the course amongst the people you know?

Something that immediately strikes me as a far bigger safety risk is giving a virtual stranger your home address, though I realise you've not said how your friend knows him, so perhaps they know each other well already as friends.

Standing on CCR waiting for a cab is far less risky. Also not clear if she is going to his house in Hampstead.

aside - I bloody love Hampstead but if she can afford to live in Chelsea, I'm guessing she could have afforded Hampstead too!

LividLaughLove · 27/03/2019 18:35

Now worrying if I’ve been single for ten years because I audaciously travel from place to place without male support.

100% of the time this leaves me paying for my own shit. Probably I should try harder to get escorted places.

autumndreaming · 27/03/2019 18:35

You're both looking far too deeply into this. So he got in his taxi first so what? It's not like she was in the middle of nowhere she was in central London! And she has lived in London for 20 years!

As for going to Hampstead - it's a nice place and he will know the good pubs and restaurants. Same as your friend for Chelsea. Next time she can take him to one she knows.

Honestly is this really the sort of thing people don't go on second dates for?? Your friend will be single for a long time if it is!!!

StealthPolarBear · 27/03/2019 18:35

So it's not logical. So believe what you like but don't assume anyone agrees with your weird ideas and don't impose them on others. You might be lucky and come across someone else who also thinks the world is flat. But you're both just illogical on the same way

Jessgalinda · 27/03/2019 18:35

Is it logical in terms of human evolution, well, yes.

Eh? How is your uber turning up first going against human evolution logic?

SchnitzelVonKrumm · 27/03/2019 18:36

My 48 year old DH just said he wouldn’t leave his date just standing there whilst he jumped in an Uber and left. He'd be happy to swallow the £6 charge and find a black cab when it drives off then?

StealthPolarBear · 27/03/2019 18:36

"
Today 18:35 LividLaughLove

Now worrying if I’ve been single for ten years because I audaciously travel from place to place without male support."
Have you tried lipstick, baking and a high pitched giggle while dead behind the eyes?

donquixotedelamancha · 27/03/2019 18:38

Can people who say it's polite and good manners explain if they walk off thinking the other person is really rude? Because that's the only interpretation. In which case I think it's ruder to set someone else up to be judged rude

This is the case with all the weird things that are 'rude' on MN, e.g. 'the host always pays for everything', 'my friend of 20 years popped over for a cheese toastie but didn't bring flowers' or 'I didn't get a thank you card for the thank you card I sent for my Christmas card'.

These people insist that this is something that everyone does (even when a thread full of people don't) and therefore the person not reading their mind is rude.

I think it's a class thing. It think it's a way a certain type of middle class person (certainly not all) signals they are middle class.

SkinnyPete · 27/03/2019 18:39

Eh? How is your uber turning up first going against human evolution logic?

If you can't figure it out what I'm saying, don't you worry your pretty little head about it! Wink

IDontWantYourNumber · 27/03/2019 18:39

After the first date I had with my now OH I hailed him a cab and put him in it so he didn't miss the last train back... I do believe I was either on Charing Cross Rd or the Strand! Shock horror.

BlueSaphire · 27/03/2019 18:39

Jessgalinda Wed 27-Mar-19 18:32:39
Thats just my personal opinion...(and my OHs too)

Alert! A man has spoken.....so mumsnet...you are all wrong. We can stop the debate right there! No need to carry on!

……………………………………………
Grin

Why would you think it unreasonable to ask a partner how they would act in the circumstance?

Jessgalinda · 27/03/2019 18:40

Just incase anyone cares

My dp just said 'eh?'.....doesnt really add anything. But since we are all sharing....just thought I would too. Grin

StealthPolarBear · 27/03/2019 18:40

Don I actually meant that if it's rude to leave before the other person then by definition one of you is rude. And if you insist on being last, then presumably the woman is rude! I do agree with you though.

nutsfornutella · 27/03/2019 18:40

Now worrying if I’ve been single for ten years because I audaciously travel from place to place without male support."

I am Head of the Family (single parent) who pays bills, drives a car and did some mowing and digging in the garden today without male support- call the elders. Hmm

howabout · 27/03/2019 18:41

When did people stop using the Tube?

HollowTalk · 27/03/2019 18:41

Is he expecting a weekend booty call? Is there a good reason why she's going to Hampstead?

SciFiRules · 27/03/2019 18:41

So women can't arrange their own transport without assistance from a man.... do they also need permission to travel?!
Why on earth would someone getting a cab home put you off? Enquiring of your destination and tying to send you home in an uber that could give away your address could also be interpreted as creepy, he was probably being careful.

Jessgalinda · 27/03/2019 18:41

Why would you think it unreasonable to ask a partner how they would act in the circumstance?

Because it doesnt matter one bit what one man would do.

And that mans uber didn't turn up first but cant wait for hers to turn up?

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