Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

He should have got her a cab first (before his own)

999 replies

Jalila07 · 27/03/2019 14:35

Hi, in a desperate attempt to find relief from Brexit, we’re here having lunch and discussing my friend’s date last weekend.

Ladies of MN, please may we put it to you for the casting vote as we’re in some disagreement. To cut a longish story short, the date had gone well until they were on Charing Cross Rd and his Uber came first so he got in it and just left my friend standing on the street!

Now he’s texting her to meet again. She’s inclined to not bother, I feel as if I agree with her, but two others here think she should give him another chance (citing excuses such as traffic, it’s hard for cabs to stop, etc).

WIBU? Shouldn’t he have called her a cab and seen her off before just sailing off into the night? By the way, we are all early 40s so she can’t be bothered messing about.

Thankyou in advance.

OP posts:
Claply · 27/03/2019 15:39

Come on. She can order her own cab. And if she doesn't want to accept his invitation to Hampstead then she should suggest an alternative - whys it all up to him?

I love Hampstead BTW. What's his number? I'll go. I have my own Oyster card and Uber account and everything.

IvanaPee · 27/03/2019 15:40

Now she’s asking if she should suggest somewhere in town?

Tell her it’s not safe for her to go anywhere until she a) grows up and b) manages to make the smallest of decisions for herself.

Weird that you don’t understand Uber, OP, since you later said you use it all the time.

Also weird that your friend has lived in London for twenty years but didn’t know Hampstead is not in fucking Narnia.Hmm

ScarletBitch · 27/03/2019 15:40

I can see both POV, if his Uber arrived first and it was assigned to him what was he supposed to do?

mimibunz · 27/03/2019 15:40

Why so much profanity and outrage?

Jessgalinda · 27/03/2019 15:40

What do people in the ‘have to be seen into a taxi’ crew do when they meet another women for dinner/drinks/theatre and live in different directions?!

Probably stand huddled together, shaking from the indecision, until one of their men folk come rescue them

ketchupormayo · 27/03/2019 15:40

How is she supposed to get to north London? By getting a tube! Honestly. She can get on a tube or order her own cab. I wouldn't let someone get me an Uber after our first date!

SnowyAlpsandPeaks · 27/03/2019 15:41

I’m an adult. Capable of navigating the UK and Europe (so far) by myself. I travel to dp’s a few times a week, other times he to mine. If my cars in the garage etc I get an Uber to his- I sort it and pay for it. Never would I expect him to do that. I have never expected a date to arrange my transport etc in the past. I find this all a bit odd.

SoHotADragonRetired · 27/03/2019 15:41

When I was about 23, I remember I was supposed to be going on a date with this one who asked me to get trains to Croydon (from Clapham) to meet him

I mean, I wouldn't much want to go to Croydon for a date either, but that's a straight, easy shot from Clapham Junction. (And yes I know CLJ is in Battersea.)

thebabessavedme · 27/03/2019 15:43

'why so much profanity and outrage'?

because I cant fucking believe what I'm reading!

SweatyUnderboob · 27/03/2019 15:43

If she fancied him it would be a non-issue. Seems like she doesn’t!

Jessgalinda · 27/03/2019 15:43

Yes this as well. It could be interpreted as presumptuous?

Yesm the same as presuming a date will pay travel expenses

She also has two options, if this is the case

Dont go to his

Go but dont have sex with him

adaline · 27/03/2019 15:43

Why should he pay for her transport?! She wants to get an Uber, she can pay for it!

Your friend is sounding more and more bonkers as the thread goes on!

ScarletBitch · 27/03/2019 15:44

Why is it a red flag because he invited her to where he lives? Unless there is a massive backstory about your friend, I am struggling why this is an issue. Even my 18 year old managed to travel back and forward to University at the other end of the country on his own . I'm 44 and fully capable of speaking up if I'm unsure or unhappy to do something. Strange thread this!

multiplemum3 · 27/03/2019 15:44

Why can't your friend make decisions for herself?

WhatToDoAboutWailmerGoneRogue · 27/03/2019 15:44

Yes this as well. It could be interpreted as presumptuous?

Wow, you really don’t want her to go out with him.

Are you going to try and block and sabotage all her dates, OP, or is it just this one you have a problem with?

marvellousnightforamooncup · 27/03/2019 15:44

Hampstead is only zone 2 but can be a pain to get to. From where I lived you'd have to bus and tube central London and tube back out again. Meeting in central London is usually standard to avoid train changing arse ache.

Charing Cross Road isn't particularly scary for a lone middle aged woman to wait for a taxi.

Original poster
Jalila07 · 27/03/2019 15:45

Please don’t get outraged about anything! My friend wasn’t sure and I wouldn’t have been sure either. Maybe we need to chill. But I know DH wouldn’t have done that and she’s never been in that situation either so this is why.

OP posts:
SoHotADragonRetired · 27/03/2019 15:46

Yes, why is your friend conducting her dating life by committee and according to a rulebook that seems to have fallen through a time warp from the Victorian era?

Evidently she doesn't like him or she wouldn't be coming up with all these ridiculous non issues, so she should just spare him any more of her bullshit and turn him down.

Lindtnotlint · 27/03/2019 15:47

Bizarre thread. He has done NOTHING wrong. Anyone who thinks there was something bad in the taxi situation really doesn’t understand Uber.

Inviting her to Hampstead sounds nice and it is utterly ludicrous to suggest it is a red flag not to send a car for her. If she isn’t keen to take a journey she can suggest somewhere else. Like, well, an adult...

adaline · 27/03/2019 15:47

Well, why would either of you expect to have your transport paid for? You're grown ups, surely you're capable of ringing for your own cabs, or getting the tube, or walking, or getting an uber? Why do you need someone else to organise it for you?

Thegoodthere · 27/03/2019 15:48

Fucking hell.

Numptysod · 27/03/2019 15:49

Is this 21st century or have we lost a few 100 years ???

Jessgalinda · 27/03/2019 15:49

Surely you and your hubby would have got in the uber together though.

Him getting in and leaving you stood there to get you own uber to the same house would have been odd.

Original poster
Jalila07 · 27/03/2019 15:49

Another friend here went out with a guy who used to charge her petrol money and once asked for money towards “wear and tear” of his car! Grin Again this was in her 20s, but the whole thing was a disaster as it planned out. So we were just talking about early red flags because often they are there.

OP posts:
Crazykerfuffle · 27/03/2019 15:51

This has got to be a piss take surely? What red flags??