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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think dd should go to a and e?

108 replies

Fazackerley · 27/03/2019 11:37

She fell off her horse on Saturday. Has lots of brusing around ribs. Was checked over by paramedics and can walk.

It's a few days later and she can walk with difficulty and has sharp pains in her hips and spine. She can't bend over.

I rang the gp on her behalf and they said go to a and e.

But she's refusing. She's 19 so I can't make her! She wants to wait until the weekend and not clutter up a and e.

Wwyd?

OP posts:
MrsJayy · 27/03/2019 12:13

I would be a bit snippy with her and tell her she she is being annoyingly stubborn and she needs to go pull mum rank Grin she is secretly scared, which is understandable but she could really have damaged herself.

thedisorganisedmum · 27/03/2019 12:16

I would tell her that she is coming right now and I won't hear any more nonsense.

If she has nothing, it will be reassuring to have it confirmed.
If she has a problem, the faster it is treated the better. It's understandable to be scared, but ignoring an injury has never helped it heal.

She waited long enough since Saturday, it obviously did not work, A&E now. No one can diagnose her on the phone!

Seniorcitizen1 · 27/03/2019 12:16

My GP when I was a child fell off his horse. He did not go to A&E as self diagnosed he would be fine. He was wrong - he spent the last 20 years of his life almost double and regretted his self diagnosis. Lots of posters come on here asking if they should go to A&E - when I can be bothered to respond I always tell them that the clue is in the title of the hospital department. Your daughter has had an accident and should go - unless of course she has xray or CT or MRI vision where she can see that she will be fine.

ShadowHuntress · 27/03/2019 12:24

I agree with Seniorcirizen1. This was an accident, which potentially can have severe and long lasting injuries. It could just be bruising. No one can know aside from a doctor. This is what a&e is there for.

Please encourage her to go and be checked over. The weekend will be much busier with longer waiting times so makes much more sense to go now.

MrsMozartMkII · 27/03/2019 12:26

If she's fractured something she won't be able to ride for a few weeks but will be able to study.

If she trips or does anything to move what might be damaged then she'll be facing far worse.

Sorry to sound melodramatic, but I met someone a couple of weeks after my accident. He'd done similar damage, only he, in the long run, turned out not to be as lucky as I'd been. He was in a wheelchair.

starbrightnight · 27/03/2019 12:29

Undiagnosed damage to her spine could lead to incontinence, among other things like being wheelchair-bound for the rest of her life.

If her GP said she should go to A&E then she should go straight there.

Ask her if she wants to risk losing of control of her bladder and bowels. Her GP would not send her to an over-stretched A&E unless it was absolutely necessary.

callymarch · 27/03/2019 12:33

A&E, been twice for the same reason. It was a surprise to me that we walked straight in and bypassed the 4 hour or so queue as all horse falls are treated as emergency, even though we had quite clearly walked in (on a broken foot!))

Karigan195 · 27/03/2019 12:37

So go to local minor injuries. They can x ray etc without clogging up a&e

Original poster
Fazackerley · 27/03/2019 12:37

I'm trying to convince her to go. She's sure they will be dismissive and it will be a waste of time. I'm getting cross with her now.

OP posts:
Butterflycookie · 27/03/2019 12:38

Got to a&e. If the doctor has instructed you must follow. 111 will tell you this as they can’t overrule what the doctor had told you

TatianaLarina · 27/03/2019 12:38

As the GP told you to go to A&E don’t muck about with 111.

A friend of mine, who is incidentally now a doctor herself, fell down some stairs in her early 20s. She was given the all clear by a paramedic but later took herself off to A&E as she thought she had fractured a vertebrae in her neck. X-rays showed she had.

Your DD is being really immature.

UrsulaPandress · 27/03/2019 12:39

Oh bless her, tell her to get her arse down to A&E. As others have said, a week day will be far less busy than a weekend.

And from my experience A&E tend to be quite fond of horse riders as they are incredibly tough cookies who only go if it is really serious. Same with rugby players.

TatianaLarina · 27/03/2019 12:41

My local minor injury unit don’t have X-ray machines any more.

Montybojangles · 27/03/2019 12:42

More of a lurker here, but felt had to post here as my DP is a spinal surgeon and after asking him for his advice on this scenario he said she needs to go now. A fall from a horse is classed as a potential high risk of spinal injury and certainly shouldn’t be ignored if she is now having mobility issues. Plus as a nurse I can confirm A&E is far less rammed midweek compared to weekend. The other factor is that people from all specialities will be in the hospital, rather than a “ghost” staff covering at weekends, so things flow much quicker.

Original poster
Fazackerley · 27/03/2019 12:48

I'm at work she's now not answering my texts. I'm going home early today and will bribe her to come with me

OP posts:
cantbearsed1 · 27/03/2019 12:51

I admit I would be the same.

formerbabe · 27/03/2019 12:53

Put your foot down op, she must be seen. Don't mess about when it comes to your back.

thedisorganisedmum · 27/03/2019 12:55

If your job allows you (as in if it's possible for you to do so and you are not a childminder or something!) , I honestly would be taking at least half a day off dependent leave or something and take her now.

PurpleWithRed · 27/03/2019 13:05

Must be infuriating - she is being very silly and naive. Tell her to read the articles by Melanie Reid and to ask herself what Melanie would say.

Knittedfairies · 27/03/2019 13:15

It may well be 'a waste of time' but what else is she going to do with her time given she's white with pain and can't bend or sit down? I hope you can get her to see sense and go.

JaneEyre07 · 27/03/2019 13:18

Well it's her that could end up in a wheelchair.

If you point that out and she still ignores you, you've done your bit.

I have had 3 teenage DDs OP. Say no more.

Voulezvous · 27/03/2019 13:20

I hope you manage to persuade her OP.

Villanellesproudmum · 27/03/2019 13:23

Show her this thread.

StormTreader · 27/03/2019 13:26

If she has broken something then leaving it means it may start trying to heal in the totally wrong position and I'm SURE she won't want them to have to forcefully separate things again so they can be positioned correctly!
Sports friends have told me that early afternoon midweek is the best time to go to A&E as a lot of people put things off until the weekend or go in first thing.

Blobby10 · 27/03/2019 13:31

Maybe you could point out that this is an opportunity for her to prove you wrong? If she goes to A & E and there isn't anything wrong she can feel smug and say "see Mum? I was right and you woz wrong"!!! Would work with my DD at that age Grin