To think that if she wants to be a vegetarian she can help cook sometimes!!

[User13820581]

DD is 11. Recently she's been going on about becoming a vegetarian. This is for moral/ethical issues re animals.

DW and I are quite happy for her to make her own choices, however we've said that we would appreciate some help in the kitchen sometimes, as we aren't prepared to all become vegetarians so will mean cooking seperate food. (Was thinking twice a week or so, not every day)

Apparently, this is totally unfair, and we can't make her help, she isn't our slave and we aren't respecting her moral beliefs....

Someone tell me I'm not being rediculous and a nearly turned 12 year old is capable of helping out in the kitchen a couple of times a week? She does food tech at school so it's not like she doesn't know how to cook basics, and anything else we would always help her with.

Well she’ll be hungry won’t she. Don’t make her anything special

Well to be fair to her you quite patently don't respect her moral beliefs (which us quite sad). She's effectively bring punished for coming to her own realisation that scoffing down the carcasses of slaughtered innocent animals isn't really ok. YABU.

Off the subject of her helping in the kitchen, but Iceland do handy single serving bags of vegetables that are steamed on the microwave. Cauliflower rice, greens mix, quinoa & veg mix etc. Most are 4 for £1, so 25p per generous serving and no waste.

i wasnt veggie at that age neither were my siblings and we would help cook that many times a week just because.

Good for her. Yanbu..

However a few meat free meals a week are better for the whole family, your health, wallet and the planet. Sorry to sound worthy!

Just cook veggie meals and add meat/fish to yours. Everyone should be eating a more plant-based diet anyway.

It does cost extra time to do veggie option - takes time to meal plan and change from established cooking/shopping patterns. She should be aware about her impact on others and should contribute to mitigate it.

I would be careful at her age as you would need to think about b12 and iron as her periods get into full swing. I think it is possible to get a balanced diet (especially if eating milk/eggs) but again requires a lot of thinking/planning.

The plus side is that veggie can be (but not always) healthier and better for planet. Does she still plan on wearing leather shoes (or is this not sensible to go into)?

Show the the thread "Suitable Chores" if she wants to see what it's really like to be a child slave! .
I'm actually surprised at your daughter's lack of willingness. I would have thought most 11yr olds would see choosing their own food and trying out new recipes with their parents quite an interesting thing to do. What is it you'd be tearing her away from doing for an hour or so per week?

My 10 year old used to love helping but now would rather chat to her friends..i also get some attitude. I don't " allow" it butvwe cannot always control what pops out of her mourh.
I expect you got attitude op as she knows you dont support her views. Dp is veggie so by default i eat less meat than ever. It's good food .
However she should help out in the kitchen ...will do her good.

YANBU. This is a great age for learning some competence in the kitchen, different dietary requirements or no. I speak as the owner of an 11yo who is very interested in food and cooking and a 13yo who is less interested but still likes to cook occasionally and has a good set of basic kitchen skills.

I personally think you should all make the effort to eat less meat, if only for environmental reasons (DOI: vegetarian of getting on for three decades here). But helping plan and cook one or two meals a week is very reasonable and will add to her skills and confidence.

You don't have to become vegetarian but what's wrong with giving her a bit of encouragement by reading veggie with her once a week?

If she still wanted to be eat meat would you be going on about helping in the kitchen? Doesn't sound like it.

She eats what you are having or cooks for herself. Every single day. Lazy little mare.

I’m in the same situation but dd is 12. She made a tomato pasta veg dish in food tech and I get her to make it occasionally. I did a TA course a few years ago with young 20- somethings, and I was surprised how many could not cook (by their own admission). They were parents. I’ve always cooked with dc as they enjoy it. And it really emphasised that I need to continue teaching them how to cook. Dd9 recently helped make her own rainbow layered birthday cake! Tbh, we have more failures than successes!

She could make her own jacket potato, omlette, beans on toast, cheese and onion pastie with salad. You could make the other three meals for the whole family like pasta, vegetarian chilli and roast dinner (hers can be everything exept the meat).

Typical tween I’d say, mine did the same at that age. The worst thing is thinking up inventive meals then cooking different ones for her to turn her nose up and refuse them because she didn’t like the taste or vegetables at that age, anyvegetables.

She got fed up of Quorn nuggets in the end and reverted back to being carnivorous.

Now at 21, she is meat free four days a week, very inventive and does it all herself as she doesn’t live at home.

Insists she is very involved in her new eating preferences.

You should be proud of her for thinking about more than the taste of her meals - more respect for her belief would be a few family veggie meals (why ever not?) and then ask her to contribute - the weekend might be a better place to start, and she could be involved in shopping as well then. But if you didn’t expect her to cook before, but do now because she’s said she wants to eat vegetarian food, it seems like a bit of a punishment for her ethics.

Here her. My dd we t vegetarian at 6 after shouting ‘chicken kler’ at me in the supermarket. Obviously she couldn’t sort it herself then but now at 13 she wants to go vegan and is consequently doing her own cooking now. Including a separate fridge for her items.

I’d be very supportive, and sit her down with Pinterest and the shopping list. She does the meal planning and legwork at least half the week, including batch cooking (with some assistance) at weekends.

Otherwise she gets served the family meals, and is welcome to pick out the meat.

Vegetarianism for ethical reasons involves an activist component, if she wants the whole family to consider ethical needs, she’d better start being more persuasive. By cooking good veggie meals and putting in some damn effort. Unless she can find a nearby veggie family with a kid who wants to rebel and eat meat so they can swap for dinner!

I agree she should be helping to cook. However I'm vegan and DH/DC are not, so we've spent several years cooking meals that are vegan as baseline and adding meat/cheese as needed at the end. Works quite well and not much additional effort!

Any chance of a list of some ideas? I would love to be able to do this, but really struggle.

That was for @ContessaIsOnADietDammit

“My last slave died from overwork so count yourself lucky. “

Works every time.

"Well I'm not your slave either!"

Some people get so defensive about their right to eat meat, settle down! 😂

I'm the only veggie in my family, my partner does all the cooking and we tend to eat veggie meals 90% of the time as it's healthier, cheaper and better for the planet. My partner and the kids eat meat outside of the home as much as they want though.

YANBU. Your daughter sounds a bit spoilt tbh. The solution is very simple though because if she refuses your instructions to help then she will either have to eat meat or eat nothing.

She should learn to cook with your help. But you should all start eat veggie meals more often.