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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To name my child the same name as some other school mum??

120 replies

BettyBoo246 · 26/03/2019 13:03

So I named our dd the same name as another school mums dd, she has a mahoosive problem with it and now completely ignores me!
Here’s the thing I didnt even know her dd had this name (that’s how much we spoke beforehand) also it’s her dd’s shortened name not her actual birth certificate name.
I addressed her in the playground (the irony) and asked what her problem was as she had been going round saying I copied her etc etc she told me she was just shocked I had done it especially as she had told me she wanted her child to be the only one in the school with that name and that it’s an unusual name and originated from her country not the UK so why would I choose it?
Have I completely lost the plot in not understanding her pathetic and immature reaction?

OP posts:
Crunchymum · 26/03/2019 14:18

What is Mila a shortening of? Confused

theWarOnPeace · 26/03/2019 14:19

outpinked that’s pretty much what happened to us, as I just said above. My DH’s very close friend called their child the same name as ours, which was extremely difficult for us to choose and we deliberated for ages over because we wanted a name that could nicely cross two extremely different cultures, ie sound lovely in both. We even had this discussion with that friend. He had the same culture crossing issue, but there were definitely many other names that were available, and he called his kid the same name as ours. I was so fucked off. Another one pretty much ghosted me at about eight and a half months pregnant (her), and then used our youngest’s name! The name was obviously too good to give up, but she couldn’t face telling me perhaps?

Bloody name stealing nutters 😂

Gruzinkerbell1 · 26/03/2019 14:19

She’s batshit. It’s a very pretty, not at all unusual name.

Itwouldtakemuchmorethanthis · 26/03/2019 14:20

I named my baby the same first and middle name as a baby in or play group (Shock) and the same name as someone in my close group of friends, all born within three months. The thing is we’d chosen the name long long before so just carried on. I think it weirder that they ended up with that name than we did, but none of us live within a 100 miles of each other now.

LazyLizzy · 26/03/2019 14:25

I must have copied 200 other mums then when I was naming DD.

Take no notice, she's making a fool of herself.

FudgeBrownie2019 · 26/03/2019 14:25

My DH’s very close friend called their child the same name as ours, which was extremely difficult for us to choose and we deliberated for ages over because we wanted a name that could nicely cross two extremely different cultures, ie sound lovely in both. We even had this discussion with that friend. He had the same culture crossing issue, but there were definitely many other names that were available, and he called his kid the same name as ours. I was so fucked off.

Without wanting to be rude or goady (because I'm genuinely interested in understanding) why were you fucked off about it?

I like to think if friends named their DC the same names as our DC I'd just think "how lovely". DH's best friend and his DW named their first DD my first name and I just smiled and thought "how gorgeous that there's two of us now".

Mayvis · 26/03/2019 14:28

Next time you're in a shop and see something personalised with the name on it, buy it and go give it to her daughter in the playground whilst smiling sweetly at her batshit mother. I'd say something like 'I bought one of these for my Mila and couldn't not get your Mila one too.

Bonus points if the item is really tacky.

tillytrotter1 · 26/03/2019 14:30

Our next door neighbours chose our granddaughter's name...….for their dog!

Omzlas · 26/03/2019 14:32

She craycray

Ignore her, she's not worth the headspace

Kedgeree · 26/03/2019 14:34

A friend had a proper hissy fit when a colleague of ours had a baby daughter Ella, which was her DD's name. I had to work very hard to keep a straight face, not least because friend's DD was by then 17 Confused. The two mums had no contact outside work, and not much in it, and well, Ella - it's not exactly Consuela Banana Hammock is it?

MiraculousMarinette · 26/03/2019 14:34

@Crunchymum in Russian, Mila is short for Ludmila or Milena. I suspect it might be something similar in Croatian.

NunoGoncalves · 26/03/2019 14:35

Another case of ignore the crazy person and save yourself the drama. You said you hardly spoke to her before anyway, so having her ignore you now should be no skin off your nose. She's being ridiculous, so just don't waste a second's thought on it.

Thesnobbymiddleclassone · 26/03/2019 14:44

Just laugh, tell her she's crazy and walk away.

notso · 26/03/2019 14:48

Why would you even give her brain space. Someone you had minimal contact with is now ignoring you, zero impact on your life.

weaseley · 26/03/2019 14:54

tillytrotter1 Tue 26-Mar-19 14:30:35
Our next door neighbours chose our granddaughter's name...….for their dog!

My MIL named her dog after my eldest. That was weird and continues to make me flinch. I still wouldn't say anything. She must know it's a weird thing to have done but ploughed on anyway.

MissDollyMix · 26/03/2019 15:02

My dog has the same name as my DD's middle name. She came with that name and I said to DH (who picked that name for DD in the first place) "Shall we change the dog's name?" and he said "no, it's a nice name!" DD absolutely loves the fact that she and Ddog share a name Grin

theWarOnPeace · 26/03/2019 15:16

Fudge I was fucked off because it was a source of so much deliberation for us, trying to bridge two cultures, and sounding nice on both sides. The friend knew this and was making out as though they would be going through the same issue when their baby was born. Instead, they just used our child’s name within a short space of time and within the same friendship group. It just felt lazy and a bit weird. The friend was already quite insecure and, to me, a bit off, with strange comments that indicated some sort of jealousy of my husband. My DH never considered him to be anything other than a totally normal friend, but was pretty taken aback when the friend announced the name to everyone. I can’t tell you how unusual this name is. Think something like ‘Katsumi’ which is essentially a Japanese version of ours. It’s culturally significant to us and can also be pronounced easily in the UK etc etc. that was an important factor for us, which is why it took us so long to decide. The friend knew the ins and outs of all of this. So that’s long answer as to why I was fucked off. Imagine two kids in a friendship group, months apart, looking similar because of identical cultural mix, with the exact same very unusal name.

SosigDog · 26/03/2019 15:35

I have a name that’s pretty specific to my ethnic heritage. When I was about 8 a lady in our (UK) village asked if she could name her DD after me. DM was totally bemused and was like: Call her what you want, it’s nothing to do with us! It never occurred to us to mind because we aren’t batshit and don’t think we own a name

firefirefire · 26/03/2019 15:37

Rest assured that she's showing herself up and everyone will think she's a massive dickhead.

Ignore her.

RosiePosies · 26/03/2019 15:47

Mila is on our list of names for our baby due in 2 weeks, hope we're not from the same area OP or I think this woman may explode

golddustwomen · 26/03/2019 15:55

Some women really need to grow the f up! She sounds like she's never left the school playground herself!

BartonHollow · 26/03/2019 16:03

Genuinely surprised your school only has one Mila for her to take umbridge to start with, one of the really on trend names for this decade of primary school entrants, it's hardly Persephone.

youknowmedontyou · 26/03/2019 16:36

She's barking mad!

queenqueenqueen · 26/03/2019 19:41

@rosiesposies 😂😂

AlecOrAlonzo · 26/03/2019 19:54

See when she's going around telling everyone you copied her...does "everyone " just back away slowly? I would be a bit Hmm if that was the level of chat I was getting from another mum.