To name my child the same name as some other school mum??

[BettyBoo246]

So I named our dd the same name as another school mums dd, she has a mahoosive problem with it and now completely ignores me!
Here’s the thing I didnt even know her dd had this name (that’s how much we spoke beforehand) also it’s her dd’s shortened name not her actual birth certificate name.
I addressed her in the playground (the irony) and asked what her problem was as she had been going round saying I copied her etc etc she told me she was just shocked I had done it especially as she had told me she wanted her child to be the only one in the school with that name and that it’s an unusual name and originated from her country not the UK so why would I choose it?
Have I completely lost the plot in not understanding her pathetic and immature reaction?

You say you didn't know what the name was, but that she had told you before she wanted her child to be the only one with it? So surely you did know what the name was?

I don't think YABU to call your child whatever you want, but I think YAB a little U to be surprised this mum is annoyed if she specifically told you the name and that she was choosing it because she wanted her child to be the only one with it and you didn't mention you were also thinking of using it. (Unless its a really common name, in which case she is just odd!)

My son does have a relatively unusual name - 30 or so a year for quite a long time - but I like to think I wouldn't be too precious to come across another, especially as it's probably due a revival in the next batch of "old names becoming popular again"

Her 2 other dds names are Italian and french She is from Croatia!

I did point this out to her and just got some bambling how these nationalities are somewhere in her family history blah blah blah

One of the mums at my son's nursery had a baby and when I asked her what she'd named the baby, it was my son's name. I just smiled and said great choice! They've moved away now anyway.

Mila is a popular name
She is being ridiculous
Ignore

I know loads of Milas. It's become very popular

What a weirdo. And Mila is not a rare, unique name in any way.

I'm actually quite excited when I meet someone else who has named their kids the same as I - clearly, we share the same excellent taste

My son has an “old” name that’s not very commonly used at the moment. At his village school, with 6 boys in his year, one had the same name. At his sports club, 14 boys, one had the same name. He’s now in a massive high school, I only know of one other in the whole school, three years older. You can’t “claim” a name, and you can’t police who your child will end up in a group with.

What's she going to do if someone joins the school with the same name, petition the school to have them removed?

I constantly recommend the names I picked for my children because they are lovely names, I'd be chuffed if someone chose the same name and not annoyed.

@thecatscats I said I wouldn't have used it if the name was really really unique... Like bizarrely unique. I see the name is Mila, a school mum with a kid called that wouldn't put me off if I loved the name

No-one owns a name! My husbands cousin was most put out when we named our youngest. She said it was too similar to her childs nick name. We have never, ever heard them use this nick name! They always, always used her formal name. After this they started calling her by her nick name, followed by family members asking, "who?! "😂

How are you supposed to know the name of a toddler whose older sibling is in your child's class, unless you're close friends with her mother? I have absolutely no idea what my six year old's classmates younger siblings are called.

She’s going to have a shock, Mila is really popular now! Just ignore her.

Next time she starts just laugh at her and walk away.

Idiotic woman

She doesn’t own the name . Wait a couple of months and tell her you’re going to use one of her other girls names for your next baby . You could have a lot of fun with this .

My daughter is a myla!

Just tell her to piss off

Meh ignore her.

I thought my kid had an uncommon name then that year I think it made top 5.

Bit like the time I thought I'd bought a unique top for him, then 3 kids at school also had the same.

Might be a little disappointing not to be unique but you quickly get over it (well you should)

If her kids name was tallulahdaisysunhine and you named yours some horror like that (in one long name) I'd see her point in copying and being a little miffed for slightly longer than 5 mins but even then... you know, grow the fuck up

Nobody is going to believe you copied her. If someone said to me at the school gate “can you believe BettyBoo copied my child’s name” I would probably actually say “oh, really, that’s a shame” whilst actually thinking that she sounds like an immature drama llama.

This. It's a pretty normal name.

But even if you did "copy" the name, it still DOESN'T MATTER ffs. They're possibly going to be at the same school for a bit as children and then they will most likely spend the rest of their lives in their own separate worlds .

clue names are like parking on the street when there are no restrictions - namely you don't own the rights to either! (unless its in front/blocking your drive!) :)

She sounds unhinged but only because she barely even knows you, can’t believe she’s walking around the playground like a literal child saying you copied her as well .

My DP’s best friend is due to have a baby less than a year after we had ours and he’s wanting to call it a diminutive of our DS’s name which is annoying as fuck. It took us months to agree on a name, it’s not an overly common name (although not unheard of) and there’s millions of names to choose from so why that! It only wound me up because he’s such a close friend of DP’s though, I wouldn’t care about a stranger.

So what if she's telling other people that you copied her. They'll all be rolling their eyes at her behind her back (and if they're not, they're not people you should care about anyway). There is life outside the school gates, don't spend the next few years getting drawn into the childishness that goes on.

I’m this context, YANBU at all. I don’t always agree with the MN, often collective, response “nobody owns a name”. I mean we know that they don’t, but it is annoying especially if you know someone well and your child has an unusual name.... speaking from irritated experience! But a school mum, and Mila? She has no bloody right to be doing that, tell her to shove it!

I knew a mum well at a baby group, who was of Irish descent and the children all had Irish names. The youngest was, let’s say, Padraig, and another mum that we chatted all together with twice a week for about 18 months just randomly called her new baby Padraig, with no Irish connection, and not even saying “oh I liked your child’s name so copied”. Just didn’t even address it, the first mum was really annoyed and I found it pretty weird too. It’s not like George or Harry or something that’s everywhere. I think it depends on the name/potential cultural connection, and how close you are to someone.

DS’s Year 1 teacher gave her baby his first name as her baby’s first name and DS2s first name as the baby’s middle name. She told me she had “stolen” my boys names. I told her not to be silly, I don’t own the names and that I was quite flattered that a bright young thing wanted to use ‘my’ names!!
(As an aside, both DSs have Mila in their class)

In my child school, that name would be very unusual, although we are at a small rural school and I must admit if I was the mother and this situation was at my school that I would think it was quite odd to not have at least mentioned you were thinking of calling your baby that but it doesn't sound like her reaction has been that normal.