Heavily pregnant, but OH leaves me and 66yo DM to move furniture

[AmyUnreasonable]

35 weeks pregnant, DM is round the house visiting me and the toddler.

I'm moving all the bedroom furniture around to make room for the new babies cot, sorting through clothes, decluttering and throwing away rubbish etc. DM instantly comes in to help (shes 66, fit and healthy but does have arthritis in her joints)

OH comes in from a night shift and goes on the xbox rather than going to bed, doesn't offer to help us move the furniture. Leaves toddler in the travel cot whinging whilst he concentrates on his game. Myself and DM have to keep stopping what we're doing to attend to toddler who's having a paddy because he's bored. Travel cot is next to where OH is sat playing games.

I shout through saying can you at least tend to the toddler, he replies "I have give him his dummy" and continues staring at the screen.

What are your thoughts on this scenario, is anybody being unreasonable? Him for not helping, me for thinking he should have?

In general he does fuck all around the house bar cook the odd meal or change the bin.

Sorry I am new to mumsnet so perhaps I don’t understand. Why are you asking people you have never met what to do rather than telling your partner to behave like a reasonable human being.

To be honest if I came in from a night shift I wouldn't start helping move furniture around, I'd relax too.

I couldn't understand from your title. I read it as your husband left you for a 66 year old.

Anyway ...
I think after a night shift, you do need to unwind. Well that's how it is for me anyway. I couldn't come home and start moving furniture unless only one person was doing it all on their own.

Cut him some slack.

I'm surprised his mum didn't step in, if I was his mum I would have ripped the cable out of his computer and told him to help. I'd be really embarrassed if he was my son.

I think that you should have asked him before he got settled into a game and became a zombie but when the toddler is crying that's not just your job to sort them out every time.

Think you need to have a word that when the baby comes along he can't just go into his own world, he will have yo deal with your toddler if you're feeding the baby.

He works 5 night shifts in a row. 12 hours per shift so 60 hours every week. He must be completely exhausted. Unless you have done this, which very few have, then it's hard to make judgements on his actions. This type of working pattern will impact hugely on so many aspects of his functioning. You know he would have helped move the furniture if you'd asked, why didn't you do that and your mum could have looked after the toddler? Seems to me that everyone was prioritising something over looking after the toddler, his xbox, your nesting, your mum's desire to help you with your nesting. I'm not saying that I wouldn't have got annoyed too in this scenario but taking an outside view I'm not sure that this would have been fair.

I don’t get the obsession on MN with gaming when you are an adult with children.

Then again I don’t get gaming full stop.

Frankly I would have been embarrassed at my mother witnessing the evidence of my poor choice of husband / father of my children.