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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

For not having WhatsApp?

101 replies

Babysleeeeeeep · 25/03/2019 18:53

I had WhatsApp for years and found it so liberating to delete it.

I found all the groups, different conversations and constant pinging really annoying and hard to keep up with. Between work groups, different family chats, friends groups, nursery group, faith group, hobby group etc etc it felt like a fill time job keeping up with everyone! I don’t like social media so aren’t on any of those.

I get asked all the time ‘why don’t you have WhatsApp??’ Said with quizzical confused faces. Family pressure me to get it as they like keeping everyone up to date in one go....so it’s for their convenience really.

People say ‘just mute the notifications’ or ‘just join OUR chat ignore the others’ which surely negates the point? I don’t seem to have missed out by receiving messages via good old fashioned texting...

Am I missing something with WhatsApp??

OP posts:

Pinkblanket · 25/03/2019 18:55

I've never had it and never needed it.

Samind · 25/03/2019 18:56

I think it's better for me to send pictures as opposed to a limited picture messaging tarriff (I don't use social media is Facebook/Twitter etc). If these were included in plan better, I wouldn't have WhatsApp.

Autumnchill · 25/03/2019 18:57

YANBU. I haven't got it as just don't see the need, same with Twitter and Instagram.

Merename · 25/03/2019 19:02

I love it for keeping in touch with family and friends but I mute the notifications and don’t have any other social media. Yanbu, do what you like. People are always surprised I’ve never been on Facebook but doesn’t seem like I’ve missed anything.

bingoitsadingo · 25/03/2019 19:05

Muting the notifications means that you can check it at your convenience but it won't be "pinging constantly".

I mean, it's obviously up to you. Use it or not, but don't complain if you get sent less updates from your family / dont get consulted on convenient dates for a get together with friends / aren't told when an activity is cancelled last minute / etc.

I find it a really useful tool, but I make it work for me. We plan a lot of stuff using it via group conversations. So if one person didn't want to use it, we'd still invite them obviously, but you probably wouldn't be involved in the planning, deciding on a date, etc, as the whole point is to have one group chat and not be sending messages back and forth that not everyone can see. So if you couldn't make the date that the rest of us had decided was mutually convenient, thats on you..

GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat · 25/03/2019 19:05

Personally don’t see the difference between WhatsApp and texting.

Autumnchill · 25/03/2019 19:25

How is it different from Messenger? We've got various groups on there that we use to organise things

Original poster

Babysleeeeeeep · 25/03/2019 20:48

I agree!!

So what do I say when people repeatedly pressure me to get it?

OP posts:

BananaFace5 · 25/03/2019 22:18

The only difference I see between whatasapp and texting is that whatsapp is free. As others have said do as you please but dont get annoyed when you arent kept up to date as much. The world is moving on and this is a part of it

cardibach · 25/03/2019 22:22

Texting is effectively free on most contracts too. I’ve resisted WhatsApp as I don’t see the need either, but have had to give in for my choir info group. I won’t be using it for anything else, I don’t think.

BunsOfAnarchy · 25/03/2019 22:24

It's brilliant for the video call feature.
Plus groups are good for organising meetups etc.
I regularly mute groups too.

BunsOfAnarchy · 25/03/2019 22:24

That said, I wouldn't ever enforce it on anyone. Each to their own.

stressedoutpa · 25/03/2019 22:25

I find it really useful.

You can mute the conversations and only look at them when it's convenient. Had the same conversation with a friend but she is a bit of a ludite in terms of tech.

Ragwort · 25/03/2019 22:26

Never had it & never been asked to join a WhatsApp group , still manage to have a wide circle of friends.

Charley50 · 25/03/2019 22:28

I like it for sending pics and arranging group stuff. However If I was on lots of ongoing groups it would do my head in, but I'm only on one frequent one, with close friends.
Tbh though that one is starting to do my head in as I'm feeling less 'connected' to some of the individuals in it, as it's all group stuff.
So, yanbu.

RMogs · 25/03/2019 22:57

I use it for a mums group... However it's kept muted. Also use it for cousins/siblings etc to arrange things as a group as opposed to individual messaging.

Used it for one on one before the WiFi could be used to enhance signal as had none in the house.

DM uses it and texts interchangeably which can get confusing trying to follow the chain of conversation.

arethereanyleftatall · 25/03/2019 23:03

I need it unfortunately.

It wouldn't be fair to expect the volunteers who organise mine and my dcs various hobbies to communicate whatever they need to separate to just me.

GrumpyOldMare · 25/03/2019 23:11

Never had it. Don't even know what it's for! Is it like texting?

MashedSpud · 25/03/2019 23:18

I like it a lot. I only have a few people on it and family and DH so it doesn’t mean I’m on it excessively. It’s handy for sending pics/videos and the free calls are great for uk and overseas calls.

weaseley · 25/03/2019 23:18

YANBU to not have it. Your prerogative. YABVU if you expect to have everything copied over to you in a different medium. I have a team member who takes great pride in not using social media but whines about not being informed of business info. We use what is most convenient to the most people. Needing a fucking carrier pigeon to keep someone in the loop when it's just a choice they've made, rather than for anything beyond their control is further than I'm willing to go. I don't care if she misses invitations to events. If she cares, the app is free of charge.

Sorry, that was a rant! Basically YANBU if that choice doesn't require extra steps for others.

MyOtherProfile · 25/03/2019 23:20

YABVU if you expect to have everything copied over to you in a different medium
This. I have it when people don't have WhatsApp then complain they miss out on invites and social arrangements or gossip news.

arethereanyleftatall · 25/03/2019 23:21

Grumpy.
Texting is one person to one other person.
WhatsApp is a group chat where all on the group will see all the messages.
One would use WhatsApp for eg a sport hobby. 'Who can play on sat at 10am in Leeds?' I can, I can't, I can etc everyone sees. Much much easier to organise stuff on. Much simpler and more immediate than eg email.

Original poster

Babysleeeeeeep · 25/03/2019 23:26

I definitely don’t expect to be kept in the loop about EVERYTHING by those on whatsapp - but surely it’s not fair to say someone without WhatsApp should be denied all communication??

That seems like saying ‘you don’t communicate in a way that’s convenient for me, so I’m not going to bother!’

OP posts:

GrumpyOldMare · 25/03/2019 23:30

Grumpy.
Texting is one person to one other person.
WhatsApp is a goup chat where all on the group will see all the messages.
One would use WhatsApp for eg a sport hobby. 'Who can play on sat at 10am in Leeds?' I can, I can't, I can etc everyone sees. Much much easier to organise stuff on. Much simpler and more immediate than eg email

Same as Facebook Messenger,then? Thanks.

SgtFredColon · 25/03/2019 23:43

I use WhatsApp for one to one texting as well as groups. As it is free.

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