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AIBU?

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Original poster

For not having WhatsApp?

101 replies

Babysleeeeeeep · 25/03/2019 18:53

I had WhatsApp for years and found it so liberating to delete it.

I found all the groups, different conversations and constant pinging really annoying and hard to keep up with. Between work groups, different family chats, friends groups, nursery group, faith group, hobby group etc etc it felt like a fill time job keeping up with everyone! I don’t like social media so aren’t on any of those.

I get asked all the time ‘why don’t you have WhatsApp??’ Said with quizzical confused faces. Family pressure me to get it as they like keeping everyone up to date in one go....so it’s for their convenience really.

People say ‘just mute the notifications’ or ‘just join OUR chat ignore the others’ which surely negates the point? I don’t seem to have missed out by receiving messages via good old fashioned texting...

Am I missing something with WhatsApp??

OP posts:
BackforGood · 25/03/2019 23:46

I agree with everything Bingo has said.

Totally up to you if you use it or not.
As long as you don't then complain that you don't know what's going on, when you don't know what is going on, or didn't have any input into the (date / venue ) option chosen because you have chosen to opt out.

The only reason it is 'pinging' all the time is because you choose to have it set like that - you can easily turn that off.

SrSteveOskowski · 25/03/2019 23:48

I'd be lost without it. I live in Ireland and one of my closest friends is in the UK. We whatsapp back and forth all the time because it's free. It would cost me a fortune if I was to do similar in texts.
I have a couple of other UK based friends too and am in a group of 4 where we can all chat together.
The only other groups I'm in is one with my SIL and nephew and one with 2 of my neighbours.
It's much more convenient for sending pictures, photos and links than texting.

Original poster
Babysleeeeeeep · 26/03/2019 06:06

I just don’t see why I have to opt into something I don’t want, for others convenience Blush

OP posts:
Jengnr · 26/03/2019 06:14

You don’t. But don’t bleat about it either.

BendydickCuminsnatch · 26/03/2019 06:17

I just don’t see why I have to opt into something I don’t want, for others convenience blush

You don’t have to Confused

thefirst48 · 26/03/2019 06:19

I just say I don't like using it. Never been asked why. Just say you prefer to text.

TapasForTwo · 26/03/2019 06:22

Most people I know tend to use Messenger rather than WhatsApp for group stuff. I have one friend who won't use social media so we always have to email or text.

I don't understand the argument that it is cheaper than texting because unless you are on PAYG unlimited text messages are included on plans these days.

Flobochin · 26/03/2019 06:29

@Babysleeeeeeep I agree!!

So what do I say when people repeatedly pressure me to get it?

I'd say bog off and MYOB I don't want it, I won't have it, I don't need it.

I can't believe this thread is real tbh.

Skittlesandbeer · 26/03/2019 06:29

I held out for years, but now aquiesced because family (overseas) kept insisting. Now I’m in a ridiculous situation of constantly pinging normal text, messenger and WA. Drives me crazy, not just the notifications, but trying to remember everyone’s preferred carrier and therefore where to look for an address or double check some other detail they’ve sent!

Don’t see a valid solution for you (or me), but I agree it’s very annoying. Pics of my chubba bubba nephew make up for it a tiny bit. Grin

CoodleMoodle · 26/03/2019 06:40

I use it for work, mainly. I don't like it but we're a tiny team and it's useful for keeping each other updated. I've also got individual chats with each person in case we need to discuss something and don't want to clog up the group.

I also use it to send pictures of the DC to DM, and she's learned how to reply and send me pictures too.

endofthelinefinally · 26/03/2019 06:42

My family are scattered around the world
We have a group chat, and I have my dc and husband group and individual contacts, closest friends as individual contacts.
I love it, it keeps us all in touch and we can do audio/video calls and it is very handy for keeping people in different time zones in the loop with news and events.
It is easy to mute so it doesn't need to be intrusive.
I don't have FB, so for me it is a lifeline.
I only got my shiny new phone when I retired and it has been a great way to keep in touch with everyone.
I have one friend who refuses to use any form of technology and tbh it is a pain always having to work around not being able to get in touch with her. She won't even have a mobile phone and can't use a computer, doesn't have email. She does miss out on things, but it is her choice.

EndUser · 26/03/2019 06:46

OP, I fine WhatsApp better for these two reasons:

  1. Organising a night out between more than one set of friends is much easier when everyone can see what everyone else says, cuts out the need for a middle man and takes much less time.
  1. Sending photos to people using a different device or provider costs me 50p a go, and I often send school letter/notifications screenshots or pics of placement of uniform badges for cubs, and don't always have someone's email. WhatsApp is free so easier.
  1. My DS's class has a WhatsApp group which has saved my bacon more than once, such as missing non-uniform day and project deadline, stuff that would have been disastrous if I had not realised in time.

But I do get your point about it feeling like it's constantly blipping at me! I feel I'm on WhatsApp all the time some days. Overall, to me, it's worth it though.

TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross · 26/03/2019 06:48

I love it because it lets me send pics for free, and I find the group chat useful for a couple of key groups I'm part of.

But if you don't like it, don't use it. As others have said, however, you can't then complain if you're not kept in the loop...

InDubiousBattle · 26/03/2019 06:51

Well you don't have to opt in, but you can't complain when you miss something. Don't expect every other member of your hobby group to opt out of something for your convenience.

converseandjeans · 26/03/2019 06:56

My DH won't use a mobile and expects people to communicate with him by text. So I end up often with people texting or Whatsapping me. It's really annoying! He has recently gone over to FB messenger. But with no phone he can only access from home where we have WiFi.
It is annoying when just one person refuses to use a preferred communication method. But totally up to you. Just accept you will miss out on what's happening.

stressedoutpa · 26/03/2019 06:57

That seems like saying ‘you don’t communicate in a way that’s convenient for me, so I’m not going to bother!’

In the same way, you are saying, 'You don't communicate in a way that I like, so I'm not going to bother.'

Mute the conversations and download the web app so you can send from your PC or laptop. I use the app all the time. Much easier.

Failing that, don't bleat if people don't understand why you're not on there!

converseandjeans · 26/03/2019 06:58

Btw I do however find whatsapp stressful myself so I do understand why you deleted it. I prefer messenger.

Original poster
Babysleeeeeeep · 26/03/2019 06:58

Re the school thing - that does worry me, I don’t want to miss out on notifications from school etc.

As I don’t have Facebook I only just learned that my daughters nursery uses that to communicate about its closures - I had no idea it had closed one day as they assumed every parent had Facebook and followed them in there!

OP posts:
Original poster
Babysleeeeeeep · 26/03/2019 07:00

I don’t have a pc or laptop Grin

OP posts:
moanyhole · 26/03/2019 07:04

I organise a few voluntary groups through WhatsApp. It's so handy to send one message that reaches everyone. If someone doesn't have it because they dont like it then it's up to them then to keep themselves in the loop. I wont be trying to remember and then separately texting anyone who hasn't WhatsApp. I haven't the time or inclination for that.

TapasForTwo · 26/03/2019 07:47

Are people ditching Messenger for WhatsApp these days?

MRex · 26/03/2019 08:03

It's useful for some group chats; my sisters and I have a thread that's gone on for a few years. It's nice to break news and plan things as a group.

The mum chat things are muted, I check on on them every now and then.

I'd like to be able to hide my whatsapp to stop randoms messaging on it though, I mute larger groups (e.g. arranging a party) on sight and find them incredibly annoying when people start chatting random shit; there are 30 other people here, get lost with your chat about your holiday, I don't even know you! Usually followed by the pings of 20 people leaving the group, ha!

JaneR0chester · 26/03/2019 08:05

My DH works in computing and does not use any social media. He objects to the implicit intrusion that Whatsapp would have on his data.

It's annoying to have to SMS or email him separately, but I accept his choice and do so accordingly.

Most people I'm in contact with use Whatsapp, those who don't I user SMS or email - no big deal. OP don't feel bad for opting out, as long as you're ok with potentially missing out on things. Perhaps explain to your friends why you've chosen to not use this tool, or feign stupidity and claim you can't get an update to work on your phone!

It goes both ways, you shouldn't feel pressured to fall in line and use the same app, but your contacts shouldn't have to go out of their way to accommodate you either. It could be tricky depending on your friend Flowers

FrowningFlamingo · 26/03/2019 08:08

That seems like saying ‘you don’t communicate in a way that’s convenient for me, so I’m not going to bother!’

I actually think that's quite reasonable to be honest.
I have a newborn with 6 grandparents. They all want photos. One refuses to get WhatsApp even though has the right phone and is technologically able. She complains constantly she doesn't get enough photos. I don't have time (or inclination) to write a load of separate messages when there's a perfectly good group.

Vulpine · 26/03/2019 08:09

For me It's the easiest and quickest method of organising group things, and yes it is very 'convenient' for the person doing the leg work of organising. That's the point. If you're happy not to be involved that's your choice.

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