For not having WhatsApp?

[Babysleeeeeeep]

I had WhatsApp for years and found it so liberating to delete it.

I found all the groups, different conversations and constant pinging really annoying and hard to keep up with. Between work groups, different family chats, friends groups, nursery group, faith group, hobby group etc etc it felt like a fill time job keeping up with everyone! I don’t like social media so aren’t on any of those.

I get asked all the time ‘why don’t you have WhatsApp??’ Said with quizzical confused faces. Family pressure me to get it as they like keeping everyone up to date in one go....so it’s for their convenience really.

People say ‘just mute the notifications’ or ‘just join OUR chat ignore the others’ which surely negates the point? I don’t seem to have missed out by receiving messages via good old fashioned texting...

Am I missing something with WhatsApp??

I must be really old fashioned then as I organise a quarterly group rota, I telephone (landline ) every member, have a quick chat, confirm they are happy to remain on the rota and then allocate people their choice of date. Works very well and gives me the opportunity to have a personal chat with everyone as I don’t often meet them in person much. .

It’s not obligatory to send photos all the time, I never take or send pictures to anyone. Nothing more boring than being constantly shown photos of people’s children or grandchildren, isn’t it the equivalence of sitting through people’s holiday videos in the 70s?

I have one friend who refuses to use it. I'm only in 3 WhatsApp groups and have notifications muted so I only see things when I remember to have a look. It's very useful for organising nights out and weekends away. The friend who refuses to use it keeps is left out of discussions about where and when to go and is only informed when one of us remembers to texts her.

I live in the middle of nowhere. Whatsapp works via wifi, I allegedly have wifi calling which does not work despite wasting hours on phone to Vodafone. So for us text is useless and whatsapp is the only way we can communicate. So for us it's an essential.

That seems like saying ‘you don’t communicate in a way that’s convenient for me, so I’m not going to bother!’

As opposed to you saying "you don't communicate in a way that's convenient for me, I demand you go to extra effort to contact me"

TapasForTwo international texts and photo messages aren’t free on my plan and I send a lot of both.

By messenger do you mean Facebook messenger? I don’t know anyone that uses that for groups or messages, lots of people aren’t on Facebook whereas people are more likely to have a smartphone/WhatsApp

I don't text anymore and only use WhatsApp. I have a chat with my mum and sister, two chats with two groups of friends and two work chats.

The work chats I have on mute and just dip in and out whenever i want to check for shifts, the other chats aren't pinging all the time as we're all working but it's great for organising days out and for sending pictures.

'I don't see why I should opt in to something I don't want for others convenience.'

That is an awful attitude. Opt out if you like, but that is your choice, and others should not have to do things twice just for you.

For example, I am currently organising something for dcs year group at school. I am giving up my own time (precious and limited) to do this for free, just to help and be nice, as it's something all the dcs will enjoy. It's all happening on WhatsApp. It is incredibly entitled to expect me to have in addition created a list of which person will accept which form of contact, and then expect me to email/speak/letter/WhatsApp/messenger/text accordingly.

For those who think I’m UR not to be kept in the loop because I choose not to have WhatsApp- when did that become the designated method of communication that all must have?? I missed that memo!!

The memo happened when the people you want to communicate with all started using it. If you don't want to communicate with them it's your choice. It's not compulsory but you can't expect them to pander to you if they're in the majority.

It became the designated method when it became apparent it was the easiest and quickest for the organiser.

I don't believe technological change has ever been heralded by a memo.

I think it's useful to send photos and videos which would otherwise cost. I am only in one "group" with my mum and sister. Everything else is organised on Facebook Messenger which I have muted so only look at it when I choose.

And also, you have to kind of keep with the times and not expect people to go out on a limb to send you an invite by carrier pigeon just because you don't have the technology.

I moved back to the Uk from France in 2000 and didn't get a mobile for a while. I found I wasn't invited to anything because at that time it was all done by text so I got one. That's how things roll, you have to keep up.

Always flabbergasted at the people that call Whatsapp “social media” and compare it to Instagram and Twitter.

That’s like comparing a horse with a private jet. They both enable you to travel, but there’s a million other differences.

Saying you don’t want to use WhatsApp is like saying “I want to turn off the text function of my phone” that’s it. You’re perfectly entitled to do that, but you can’t complain you aren’t included. That’s like blocking up your letterbox and then complaining to Royal Mail that they aren’t posting you letters.

For the people who organise stuff it's generally easier. It's not really about you in that scenario.

I had it on my last phone i was on holiday and my grown up kids were irritated that i wasn't responding right away to stuff so I deleted it when I got home I don't understand why things have to be instant if it isn't important yanbu,

“I don’t see why I should opt into something for others convenience”

Do you just dump your rubbish directly onto the floor on the street or use a dustbin?

Reading the thread I think im probably just old fashioned it seems it is useful maybe just not for me,

Just mute the notifications and read as you choose to. It really doesn't have to be a drama.

Most of my family and friends are on WhatsApp so I send all my messages there. If someone isn't on it I don't make any effort to send the message a different way as a group is easy and convenient.

@mrsjayy

I actually think you make a fair point - people expecting instant replies to non-urgent stuff are what makes Whatsapp annoying, more so than text because most people know whether you’ve read it or not.

You can turn that off, but that kind of defeats the point as that’s quite useful for the normal people who don’t need an instant reply as long as they know you’ve got the message.

No memo, Whatsapp has managed to achieve critical mass. 10 years ago there was Line and Vibe (?? can't even remember!) but they didn't become as popular in the West as WhatsApp has (think Line still exists). It's just personal choice. Don't feel bad, it's not as though you're entirely giving up your phone!

Firstly you can mute the notifications.

Secondly I love it as its free, I can see when a message has been received plus with group chats, I cam send a message to all the people that need it at once more easily.

I think at some point you're creating work for people by not being on a group chat. If someone in your family or nursery group wants to get a message out then they have to remember you're not on whatsapp and send you a special message.

Speaking as someone who is often the 'organiser' of things, it's a bit tedious when someone needs their own line of communication, and I don't feel too guilty if I forget to follow you up in amongst the other things involved.

But obviously you can do what you want and should do what works for you personally. Just don't get crabby at people who might forget to invite and include you, because you opted out of the main line of communication.

usernumbers I do think expecting instant response can be stessful but It's the age we live in isn't it?