To find Mother's Day cards triggering?

[yellowbootieboots]

It just enrages me. No you're not "the best" you're not "wonderful" or "loving". You've been a horrible twat most of my life and pretty fucking awful at best.

We had a roof over our heads, clean clothes and food but Christ she doesn't give a toss about me and I'm expected to sign my name to this shit.

Anyone else or just me that gets pissed off this time of the year?!

Ah I see you buy her a card. Well yes I wou find that hard. Hence I don't do it. You're not responsible for your dad being upset., she is. Free yourself from fog, do t even think of getting her a card.

Nokidshere
I don't have ptsd left over from my horrendous childhood, I call the shots in my life and I do not let those people have any power over my here and now.

I do have c-ptsd from my childhood and have done a lot of work to stop the symptoms of it, but it's still there and Mother's Day cards do upset me because I'm sad that my Mum is abusive and won't want a card from me and I wish she would. What did you do to get over your trauma and stay so strong?

Yanbu but I think the word “triggered” is something only heard on social media hence it can appear snowflake-y because it’s been over used along with “content warning”. For instance I’ve seen a content warning on a blog alerting readers to the fact that plastic toys are mentioned within.

If someone said “X makes me feel Y” or “I find X upsetting because...” I think that a reasonable person would get it. And I certainly get what people are saying about inappropriate mothers and feeling upset.

Sometimes the language of social media ends up being something that is not reflective of the way people talk in real life

I really do feel “the dream is over” for social media-we are all going to end up hating each other if we’re not careful

@MumUnderThe Moon

"I understand trauma perfectly. Having suffered myself. I also have triggers. My point is that we have to find a way to stop giving them power over us because allowing a card or a holiday or a smell or a sound or anything to affect our happiness is unreasonable. We deserve better from ourselves. I'm sorry you don't see it that way."

I'm very happy for you, that you have been able to manage your own trauma. Less happy that you appear to misinterpret other posters who have not yet reached that happy stage. (Your erroneous claim that the OP is asking other people not to express love for their own mums, for example). ).

If you can't understand that trauma-sufferers (not yourself obviously, as you 'understand trauma perfectly') are not deliberately "allowing" themselves to be affected, you possibly don't have the empathy to also appreciate that most folk would like to get past their trauma - but maybe what they suffered is too unimaginably bad for them to be able to do so in such a timely manner as you achieved.

The OP will deal with her triggering & upset in her own time, & it's not helpful to lay additional stressors on someone which - if interpreted very bluntly - appear in effect to merely call on the OP to 'get over it already'.

All that said, congratulations on your own journey & I hope you continue blithe, happy, & no longer affected by your own trauma.