DD in isolation for wearing the wrong socks

[swirlycurly]

DD who's in year 7 is being put in the isolation room at school tomorrow for wearing the incorrect colour socks, white instead of black. She did do this two days in a row after being warned so I do think she should accept the punishment as she was warned. But AIBU to think this is a silly rule anyway? They seem to claim that having school uniform is setting them up for life and work yet what workplace is going to tell someone to work away from everyone facing a wall for the day because they wore the wrong colour socks? So why do schools feel the need to be so strict?

but is mostly teaching about following rules and authority and consequences for ones actions.

well really teaching about following rules and authority and consequences for one's actions in not following all rules and authority no matter how irrelevant or inconsequential.

In real adult life there are generally no consequences for wearing the wrong socks because usually there are no wrong socks.

Does anyone in real life on MN work someplace as concerned about uniform as schools - someplace other than the military or similar where white socks will have you sent home and docked pay?

Bluesky "While I'm sure he gets a little hot at points, it's a good lesson in discipline and respect."

I wasn't replying to you, it was a crosspost but I stand by it. I'm all for discipline and respect, but if it makes the child so uncomfortable that it interferes with their learning I think that lesson is rather lost. And having a child with autism and migraines, that happens all too easily. We do make sure he wears the right colour socks though.

It is ridiculous. Especially missing out on the education that they're meant to be there for.

A friend's child broke the sole of of his shoe on Tuesday, so went into school in black, plain trainers on Wednesday with a note to explain as well as mum phoning/ emailing.
Parent not able to buy new shoes until weekend (money and time issue as working long hours), so 3 days away.

Child is yr9 and has been kept in isolation all day with no school work. Must sit quietly doing nothing.
He has been told he'll have to attend isolation every day, all day, until new, suitable shoes are bought as he's broken the rules. This is an academy school.

Imagine the fuss if he'd been kept off for 3 days?
But, actually, the result is the same, 3 days of learning missed. Except they think their punishment is ok.

Am I the only one having a flashback to the time Adrian Mole got into trouble at school because he wore red socks instead of black?

N I'm flashing back to my school days. The uniform included a navy skirt and white knee length socks (pink gingham dress in summer) we were not allowed to wear trousers even to travel to/from school. Thankfully they got rid of the hats the year before I started.

At the time you could only get white socks in cotton and every winter we would try to get the school to allow blue socks because they came in a nice wooly material.

We didn't have exclusion, we would be sent home to change and I seem to remember some girls having to appologise to the whole school from the stage for breaking some rule or other.

OP I feel your dd's pain, it seems socks are important to some schools.

Bloody hell Notwotuknow that’s horrific!

However, those who hold the power make the rules and there is a price to pay for non-conformity. That's an important life-lesson for children to learn.

And some people wonder why there is a culture of bullying.

ihatemyselffordoingthis I live in a school district (in the US) where there is a very wide income range and yet none of the public elementaries or high school have uniform. It has never been suggested.

There are rules on dress that are enforced, though last year the school board decided to drop its no headcovering policy and also to relax previous items in the code that mainly affected girls' clothing, resulting in a disproportionate number of demerits for girls on account of dress code infractions.

A few years ago the high school decided to work on cutting down the number of detentions, in-school suspensions and out of school suspensions that were dished out because the existing policy was not remedying behaviour and was actually depriving many students who were most in need of being in class of that opportunity. Alternative approaches were developed, more support staff were hired (social workers) and the discipline structure was revamped, with guidance counsellors, social workers and deans of discipline working in teams for the sake of better communication, and establishing better relationships - and relationships that facilitated personal growth - with students who seemed to be pushing the boundaries.

It's amazing what solutions to individual teens' issues can be found when a school does not have the option of magic clothing up its sleeve.

It's always the girls who have to watch what we wear isn't it mathanxiety. Why arevthe boys not equally scrutinised?

Yanbu. Stupid school.

Yes indeed malificent7.

At present the only verboten items are hate speech/slogans, offensive speech/slogans or symbols or gang symbols or names on clothing. Or any item of clothing likely to incite or provoke violence or hatred or cause disorder, like a MAGA hat.

My workplace is pretty strict about uniform but they don't give a shiny shit about my socks as long as they're not offensive. I can also wear or not wear my cardigan as I choose.

I would never make it through school now... For a start being stuffed in a blazer all day no matter the temp probably would have meant me going home with a migraine every single day it was warm.

It's amazing how degree students manage to learn anything without a horrid uniform...

I do feel isolation is overkill.

YANBU

What a stupid rule. I'd be Concerned that she was missing out a whole day of lessons over the colour of her socks. Yet if you kept her off for the day for a shopping trip or a treat the school would be on your case because school work is important.

This is a great example of how institutionalised we are as a society. White is still pretty inoffensive, they weren't pink or florescent ffs.

Its a silly and controlling rule. That's what people would say if it were your partner or even if parents said this to their children on weekends Imo not many jobs make you wear a certain colour socks.

But that's the whole thing about school uniform. It's uniform. The second you allow deviation from it you have a thousand decisions to make each day.
You either have it or you don't.

Where I work in the nhs, if we don’t wear just plain black socks, we can be disciplined as it’s part of our uniform policy. No patterns or colours, or any other colour sock, so it is out there in the workplace!

I don't wear uniform in my line of work.

Not everyone has a uniform.

And NO ONE will be punished for wearing the wrong colour socks.

I think isolation is a horrendous punishment and should be reserved for when all else has been tried and failed.

A year 7 with the wrong socks? Get the head of year to keep some really ugly old black socks (there will always be some in lost property) and make them change into them for the day. They will hate ugly mismatched socks but they will be with their mates and they will learn.

Repeat offenders? Detention for an hour after school, assuming there are no mitigating factors.

I think it's a silly rule and a silly punishment but it is still a rule. Unfortunately she's got to stick out the punishment. Buy her lots more black socks so she doesn't forget again.
I work for the nhs and they stipulate in our uniform policy black socks only. It's a disciplinary to not follow policy repeatedly.
Obviously sock colour has a big impact on our children's education and healthcare provision! 🤨

I feel sorry for the children having to wear a hot itchy blazer in summer to learn “discipline and respect”. It’s such a stupid way of teaching those things. (And it’s not respect that teaches, it’s deference, which isn’t a desirable characteristic.)

The sock rule is stupid too. Get her black socks with coloured toes and heels so she can delight in her secret radicalism which apparently conforming to the the nonsense.

My DS forgot his white socks for PE and kept his grey school socks on instead. Was told to go without socks as the grey ones were 'dirty' . They wear trainers for inside PE not plimsolls, trainers that are worn outside, but school uniform socks put on clean that day were unsuitable?

I used to work for the nhs and they were very strict on uniform. I've been bollocked for non black socks before and a persistent offender was sent home without pay.

YANBU. But many parents don't get the luxury to select a secondary school and vet the uniform/behaviour policy - they're just grateful to have a school place.

My son was at a school that was obsessed over uniform yet behaviour, aspiration and performance were poor, yet the focus remained on uniform still, even when it slid into Special Measures, because it believed that smart uniform/discipline was linked to good behaviour. I never found this to be the case at that school.

When we moved, he went to a different secondary, where the rules re uniform are more relaxed and the school's priorities are on more important issues.

They can't choose which rules they want to follow and which they won't bother with. It IS good practice for life/ work situations where you often just have to get on with little things/ people you don't agree with.
You could argue that the 'silly' rules are easier to follow- c'mon, it's not difficult to put on the right colour socks. Why break a rule that is so easy to keep? If the colour of your socks doesn't matter, just wear the right ones.
I assume she has plenty of correctly coloured pairs to wear.

Jesus I don’t know how the children from my school ended up in employment at all! We had no uniform at all in the 80’s and even wore neon socks on occasion. I don’t really know how I’ve managed the wear a uniform at work since the 90’s after missing out on such vital ‘uniform wearing training’ at school.
I think being put in isolation or the wrong coloured socks is forcing people to be conformist whether they agree with what’s happening on a senior level or not which imo is not a great skill for real life.

They had a choice not to go to a school with ridiculous uniform rules and they failed to exercise that choice. Suck it up.

Nonsense. In many areas of the country people really don't have that choice. I do wish people wouldn't post this sort of ill-informed nonsense.

The funny thing is that giving isolation would have given more work to teachers who would have had to prepare work for your daughter. I never used to check uniforms when I was a teacher. Most didn't actually. What a waste of time.