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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DD in isolation for wearing the wrong socks

219 replies

swirlycurly · 24/03/2019 22:12

DD who's in year 7 is being put in the isolation room at school tomorrow for wearing the incorrect colour socks, white instead of black. She did do this two days in a row after being warned so I do think she should accept the punishment as she was warned. But AIBU to think this is a silly rule anyway? They seem to claim that having school uniform is setting them up for life and work yet what workplace is going to tell someone to work away from everyone facing a wall for the day because they wore the wrong colour socks? So why do schools feel the need to be so strict?

OP posts:
Pinkbells · 24/03/2019 22:47

I think school uniform is fine, no problem with it, but stipulating sock colour is over the top. Having said that, if you know the school is strict about the uniform you probably should just make sure she is wearing the correct stuff. But it's a very silly rule.

DontCallMeCharlotte · 24/03/2019 22:50

Um, can you give her a once-over before she leaves the house? Or hide her white socks?

Personally I think strict uniform is a good idea but I realise I may be in the minority.

GreenTulips · 24/03/2019 22:51

When dd was in Y7 I was still laying out her uniform for her and reminding

Really? Why?

Original poster
swirlycurly · 24/03/2019 22:53

@OhTheRoses she usually lays out her uniform the night before but just grabs some socks and puts them on the same te as her shoes before she leaves. By then I've already left for work but I've made sure she's got the correct socks tonight will do from now on

OP posts:
reluctantbrit · 24/03/2019 22:53

While I agree it is a stupid rule I think it is easy to help her. I have a day dreamer and I just have a drawer full of non-school socks and one with school ones, not once did DD choose the wrong socks.

Our school has lots of ridiculous uniform rules like size of studs allowed as earrings but that’s life. I have a dress code at work and aren’t allowed to wear flip flops.

peskypooches · 24/03/2019 22:53

You know the uniform rules when you choose a school - if the child then insists on flaunting them they are going to be punished. If you and she think the socks rule is a huge problem (I don't, particularly - but understand that some may) then perhaps you should have chosen a different school. Unless she has SEN she is surely capable of noticing what colour socks she puts on in the morning.

Yes - on the face of it a day out of classes for such a minor misdeed can seem OTT, but as pps have said, it's a life lesson. It was for ignoring a warning, not the socks issue per se. She needs to learn from it, move on and wear the right socks going forwards.

IAmNotAWitch · 24/03/2019 22:53

Yep some rules are stupid. You have to decide whether to follow the stupid ones or not depending on the authority imposing them and the possible outcomes/punishments.

Planeticket · 24/03/2019 22:58

YANBU. It's a stupid rule and I think the punishment is too heavy handed for such a small thing.

AnneOfCleanTables · 24/03/2019 22:58

It's about learning to follow rules and authority, and accepting that if you flaunt both then there are consequences. It's not really about socks. Lots of careers will have demands/rules/conventions. Learning how and when to follow them is a necessary life skill.

Isitweekendyet · 24/03/2019 22:59

Why does she have white socks in the first place if they aren't standard uniform?

(Unless they're ordinary socks)

BoomBoomsCousin · 24/03/2019 23:03

Its a silly rule.
Isolation is a pretty draconian punishment for a minor infraction and and somewhat inhumane if it isn’t essential to remove a child from others.

There is nothing about this modern day form of beating obedience into kids that is going to set them up for life.

Nevertheless ignoring a teacher’s warning can be disruptive and costly for all the other students at the school (not over the colour of their socks, though).

KurriKurri · 24/03/2019 23:05

Lots of schools have silly rules to give the kids something harmless to flout - stops them breaking important rules that actually matter if they are rebelling about their socks.

Isolation seems a bit stupid though - I thought that was mainly for children who were being disruptive.

Ginger1982 · 24/03/2019 23:06

It is a stupid rule, but you said she's worn white socks loads of times before and no one ever said anything to her, so clearly she thought the rules didn't apply to her. Now she knows they do. A tough lesson but hopefully one she's now learned.

lotusbell · 24/03/2019 23:06

My son is y7. At the induction evening with head of y7 and headteachers they went on and on about uniform, how last time they had a firedrill, she inspected the length of every skirt as they filed past comeback into school Hmm. Son has always had one drawer of black socks for school and one drawer of 'weekend' socks, if you will. He keeps putting those on instead of his school socks and I keep warning him he'll get pulled up on it, but he insists no one actually "gives one". I'm thinking they'll notice eventually!

LittlePaintBox · 24/03/2019 23:06

Enforcing uniform rules used to exasperate me when I was a teacher, especially when the result was a child missing out on teaching time as a punishment. But if this is the kind of school it is, she'll have to learn to keep the rules.

My older son was very forgetful, but I don't think he ever forgot to wear the correct school uniform.

Is wearing white socks some kind of fashion statement? I went to a school that was very strict on uniform, but by some oversight they'd forgotten to say what colour tights we should wear! So we all went in whatever colour was fashionable that month. I remember the term we all wore purple tights!

LynetteScavo · 24/03/2019 23:07

So you put five pairs of black socks in her drawer and tell her to wear those. It's not rocket science to put on school uniform or home clothes depending on which day it is. Would she forget to wear her school jumper and put a bright pink one on instead?

School uniform is a silly rule full stop, but if a school is going to have a uniform the pupils should wear it. Many won't bother unless there is a sanction, but surely detention would be more suitable? Won't she miss learning things in lessons?

Skittlesandbeer · 24/03/2019 23:07

It’s as much a rule for the parents, as it is for the kids. Sadly, these days you couldn’t leave ‘neat, appropriate dress code’ in the hands of parents. Lord knows what the kids would turn up wearing. And the arguments that would ensue (and distract from teaching).

I’m not religious, but agreed to let my DD go to a religious school. I couldn’t care less if the religion ‘sticks’, but I like that she’s taught a framework of behaviour. It’s the framework that counts in future life, not the rules themselves.

SrSteveOskowski · 24/03/2019 23:09

Am I the only one having a flashback to the time Adrian Mole got into trouble at school because he wore red socks instead of black? Grin

SarahAndQuack · 24/03/2019 23:10

I think it's a stupid rule, and also sets children up to expect to be treated badly in the workplace.

On the whole, the stricter the dress code, the less well paid and well respected the job. Sure, there are law firms where you are expected to dress in a conservative style. But, broadly, the sorts of jobs where someone will insist on white socks no black are the sorts of jobs where you're earning minimum wage.

I do not see why anyone would a school to prepare children on the assumption they'd be limited to that.

pallisers · 24/03/2019 23:11

It is the rule and that is a consequence so the school isn't being unreasonable I suppose.

I wouldn't want to send my child to a school who thought the wrong socks were worth isolating a child. Outside of the military and schools like these does such a concept as "the wrong socks" even exist these days? But you possibly don't have a choice, OP so you and your dd have to play by their (stupid) rules.

I live somewhere where uniform is rare (catholic school mostly) and am astonished at the level of angst about it in UK schools. I wore a uniform in school many years ago and never remember any teacher ever talking about it to me. They were too busy educating us.

I particularly think it is awful for teachers to spend their time talking to girls about their clothes - considering the rest of society has that one well under wraps.

ReanimatedSGB · 24/03/2019 23:12

What I'd really like to see when schools pull this sort of shit is some serious campaigning, among the kids. If she could get the whole class to come in wearing different coloured socks every day, for example, there would be a point where the school would have to give in (they can't permanently isolate all of them.) Year 7 is, after all, not the most important year, so a good one for the kids to learn a life lesson about how it is possible to push back against the idiocies of 'authority'.

Because this sort of petty bullshit is not good for DC at all. Unquestioning obedience is not a life skill; it's the opposite.

fruitpastille · 24/03/2019 23:13

Ok, so she should have worn the right socks (even if it is stupid). But one warning and then isolation??! Is that normally what happens? Surely a lunchtime detention at most is more appropriate?

sonlypuppyfat · 24/03/2019 23:14

Schools have rules about uniform for one reason only, control.

mathanxiety · 24/03/2019 23:16

this sort of petty bullshit is not good for DC at all. Unquestioning obedience is not a life skill; it's the opposite.

This^^

Ihatemyseleffordoingthis · 24/03/2019 23:17

I dunno, uniform is uniform. I object to over the top fancy or expensive uniform but sock colour is generally stipulated.

At DDs school they can wear black, grey or green ankle socks, knee socks or tights for eg. Seems reasonable enough.

Does she not just have a "school socks" and a "not school socks" pile/drawer? By 2/3rds of the way through Y7 I don't think "forgetting" is really a reasonable response either. Does she forget to wear the right colour skirt or the right jumper?

Isolation seems a bit heavy handed but I suppose its on a continuum of some kids turning up completely inappropriately dressed.