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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To cancel DD’s birthday?

633 replies

NattyGeo · 24/03/2019 16:47

NC’d to avoid being identified. My DD is set to have her 18th on a Thursday. We have booked a spa place with a restaurant, her and 5 friends have use of the swimming pool and sauna and will be having an 8 course tasting menu after. Costing us £350. Thinking of cancelling because she went to the People’s March when I told her she wasn’t allowed. She mentioned it on Thursday, a group of friends were going. she is very anti-Brexit and into politics (a real budding leftie), but I said no because it meant taking a National express at 4.30am to get to London by mid-morning and TBH I just didn’t see the point in doing it when we leave the EU next week! It would also mean taking a day off from her Saturday job. She sulked and stropped but I stood firm.

Yesterday morning I went to wake her as couldn’t hear her get up for work. She’d put pillows in her bed where her body should be to make it look like she was there and was gone! I rang her 10 times, no answer and on the 11th time I left a voicemail to say if she didn’t call back in 10 minutes I’d be reporting her to the police as a missing person. She called back, was in the bus and said sorry for sneaking out but she really wanted to go. She’d caught an Uber at 4am!

She arrived back at 2am this morning on the bus. I went to pick her up from the bus station (on my , she wanted to be dropped off no doubt to avoid me), and when she got in the car she told me to “wipe that look off my face”. She says she’s sorry for being dishonest but not sorry for going. I’m furious. She’s usually good as gold and has never done anything like this. WIBU to cancel Thursdays party as a punishment?

OP posts:
iklboo · 29/03/2019 12:54

My mum still tells me to be careful coming home from a night out. I'm 50 and never go out on my own unless DH is picking me up. I'll probably be the same with DS.

HomeEdRocks18 · 29/03/2019 13:26

She's 18. She is an adult. I understand that if she lives with you then she should follow house rules, but you can't tell her how to think.

LordProfFekkoThePenguinPhD · 29/03/2019 13:31

I left home at 20. Mum still used to insist on giving me cash for a taxi home when I went out for the night!

KathyS901 · 29/03/2019 14:12

You would be very very unreasonable and awful! She has every right to express her views and it's excellent that she is active and interested in politics! This should be being encouraged, not stifled! Bloody hell, I thought you were going to say she got brought home by the police or got drunk and destroyed something... I think it was VVVV unreasonable of you to tell her she couldn't go in the first place!

iklboo · 29/03/2019 14:15

READ THE FULL THREAD!

This happened DAYS ago and the OP has just posted an update that the party was a great success.

GottenGottenGotten · 29/03/2019 17:24

Fab NattyGeo! It can be a difficult thing to come to terms with - mine are older and a big part of me still wants to make sure everything is OK for them - but I know I have to let them go their own way, but be here for them when they need me.

I'm delighted you didn't cancel, and that you are glad of that :)

Starlight456 · 29/03/2019 18:45

Glad they all had a good time.

Parenting we continue to have to adapt our relationship as they grow . Well done op it’s a big step in there lives .

She sounds like someone to be very proud of.

WendyMad · 30/03/2019 18:15

Glad this is all resolved, and congrats to OP and OP's DD for sorting it out so successfully.

I'm just still puzzling over the expression "real budding leftie" applied to some-one who marched to stay in one of the biggest capitalist organisations in the world!

Whatever her views on Remain/Brexit, and wherever she is on the left/right spectrum, I think the usual word for some-one who cares for her country as strongly as she evidently does is patriot!

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