DH voted leave but can't articulate why

[DifferentViews]

Sorry if this has been done before, but i need to get this off my chest and perhaps get new insight or come to a better understanding, so i can discharge some of the anger i feel.
So, i voted remain and he voted leave. Up to a point, i am prepared to accept we have different political views and can move on.
Talking to him last night, i asked, knowing what he knows now, would he still have voted leave and he said yes.
Cue a long discussion as to why and really he has no real idea what he was voting for, or what he wanted. Its just so woolly...he wanted change, but can't articulate what that would be.
It was just a knee jerk reaction to not liking the current situation and wanting things to be 'different'.
Its just made me so angry that he would still vote that way again in spite of all the evidence that things wont be 'better' out the EU.
His argument is that we don't know whether it might be better, so that gamble is worth it, but i am really struggling to see his point of view.
Please, can someone give me some idea how i can come to terms with this, so i am not consumed with impotent anger at him? Thank you.
Ps this is not meant to be a goady post against those that voted leave, if you have a well thought out argument and honestly believe it, that's great.

@CuriousaboutSamphire
^I am disappointed nobody is challenging my point about the TTIP.

Is that a lack of knowledge or a salient point that cannot be gainsayed?^

Ah -apologies, I missed it, and I think someone already gave the same response, but basically I have concerns about TTIP but I think outside the EU we are going to absolutely steamrollered by the US and will end up in the same place or worse, so if avoiding TTIP enabling US commercial activities in the UK was a reason for voting Brexit it was a spectacular own goal.

If it was more of a "not in my name" moral stance that has some validity I guess, but I think an empty gesture in practice for the reason above.

@steff13

As an outsider (American), I've read quite a few of these threads. My impression is that many people who voted remain consider themselves to be morally and intellectually superior to those who voted leave. I don't blame the leave voters for not wanting to discuss their reasons, which, frankly, are none of your business. I suspect that for many remain voters, no reason would be "good enough" for you, regardless of how legitimate or well thought out it is.

Well said Steff.

I think Jonathan Pie sums it up rather well.

www.facebook.com/796085293847699/posts/1983497615106455/

I suspect that for many remain voters, no reason would be "good enough" for you, regardless of how legitimate or well thought out it is.

You could well be right, but until Leave voters actually start sharing we will never know.

Doing something but not being able to explain why, even 2.5 yrs later when people often publicly discuss the reasons why they did or didn't do that same thing, is a sign of not being very bright.

I suppose people don't have to have reasons for many things they do.

“They broke the contract”

Yep. That sums it up.

You could well be right, but until Leave voters actually start sharing we will never know
people HAVE shared. Over and over and over again. have you not been on MNfor the last couple of years?
Let me tell you how it works; a leaver explains why they votes leave; they get called racist and thick. They explain again. they get told they're just wrong. Eventually all the leavers get tired of having to give the same explanations repeatedly whilst being insulted.
leavers are then told none of them has ever come up with a reason why they voted as they did.

Oh, and there's a very long post about 2 pages back where someone posts exactly why they voted leave but I assume you're ignoring that?

“Laws that impact on the lives of British people should be made in the UK by the UK.”

What laws do you object to?

If my DH voted for something that would make us and our DC worse off then I would want to understand why. PIL both voted leave largely because of things they read in the DM, because of a nostalgic view of the great British empire and because they don't want to be told what to do by the Germans.

I don’t think I could articulate why I voted remain at the time. I felt it was right but couldn’t say why.

Now if there was a second refferedum I could articulate why I would still vote remain but that’s because it would be much clearer what was acrually being voted on

Ahhh Windowsareforcheaters so there is a right and wrong way to vote, I am sure that there are inaccuracies in remain camp too. Anybody who disagrees with the hive mind is wrong.

I have differing political views to my DH, some members of my family and some friends, but I've never felt any anger towards them - I just accept our differences. Of course we've engaged in lively and protracted debate from time to time, but have never fallen out over politics. Life's just far too short for that.

I've seen posts on here where some who voted remain have said they're no longer speaking to friends and family members because of how they voted in the referendum. One poster just the other day actually said she wasn't going to let her kids see her mother (or MIL?) again because she voted leave. I can't imagine cutting off a member of my family for voting a different way to how I did - it's just bizarre and very sad.

Christ, take no notice of the victim narrative Leavers on this thread or of their attempts to guilt you into submission - it's either that or "violent civil insurrection if we don't get what we want" bollocks with them.

So glad DH (with whom I differ on a great many political points) voted to Remain, I'd have had not been able to respect him ever again. Because he wouldn't have deserved it, and the whiners can shove that in their cakeholes.

Firstly, as a Leave voter, educated to degree level (obvs not very bright!) I would suggest that sometimes you feel something on an emotional level, and all the reasoned pontificating in the world doesn't make a blind bit of difference. (People have actually explained their reasons in great detail but Remainders conveniently forget them anyway). The heart knows what the heart knows, and mine tells me I want OUT.

“Oh, and there's a very long post about 2 pages back where someone posts exactly why they voted leave but I assume you're ignoring that?”
Do you mean Anericandream’s post? The one with reference to laws applying to Britain being made in Britain? I have heard that. Kit- and I have asked wht laws the person concerned objects to. But I have never had a response. Presumably they aren’t objecting food safety, health and safety, employment laws......

This articulates perfectly, why I voted leave

www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2016/06/22/20-reasons-you-should-vote-to-leave-the-european-union/

another good read

www.spectator.co.uk/2016/06/six-best-reasons-vote-leave/

@themoomoo

people HAVE shared. Over and over and over again. have you not been on MNfor the last couple of years?

No, only the last few months.

Oh, and there's a very long post about 2 pages back where someone posts exactly why they voted leave but I assume you're ignoring that?

It that Brit Wife's? I have read and understood it but sadly it also contained a lot of misunderstandings and half-truths.

I am sure it is a genuine post, based on what she believes to be true, and in no way a deliberate intention to mislead, so from that POV it does give a clear explanation of her reasons. But it is just so very very sad that it's another person voting on flawed information.

Bearing in mind that Leavers complain that Remainers just pick holes in their reasons I didn't respond to it other than to a couple of posters who requoted (because I really hate seeing bad info propagated).

@themoomoo

And for avoidance of doubt, I have NEVER called anyone either racist or thick, in RL or online.

Hi OP, one valid argument for not voting remain is 'what are you remaining in?'

To vote remain is to vote for a continuum. The EU ideal is further union, a federation of European states. No one can say what that will look like and how we will be influenced by it any more than no one knows what our position will look like post-transition period.

Perhaps if you view your husband's point through that potential lense you might feel more accepting of his right to vote his way?

Voting brexit doesn't automatically make one a racist bigot. There are lots of reasons why people voted that way (although the BBC has an unerring habit of visiting towns and attracting racist bigots for comment on it). The current mess should not be blamed on the individuals how voted leave in an advisory referendum. The blame should be squarely on the cake and arse party in Westminster.

I agree singletosingle, if the remainers do not agree with my view, than so be it, we were given free vote, and I had my reasons for voting leave, and used my right to vote. I don't have to justify myself so that remainers are satisfied that I am cognis mentis and of sound mind to make such a decision.

Blibbyblobby

You could well be right, but until Leave voters actually start sharing we will never know.

I shared 2 years to about 18 months ago and got fucking steamrollered by fuckwit remainers giving nothing but abuse.

Now its to late and other than posting random stuff and pointing out various things, I really can't be bothered.

I await the "they must have been shot down easily" response, but we will never know because no sensible discourse was ever given, the threads were deleted due to the amount of posters breaking talk guidelines.

Why on earth do you think he should explain himself to you, are you the police?

If remainers find holes in my arguments, then so be it, I voted what I voted and that is that, and they did the same, I am not picking holes in their arguments, I have accepted that is the way they want to vote.

Aeroflotgirl

I wouldn't mind if remainers found holes in my points, but this complete rubbish about no leavers ever discussing their reasons, riles me no end, as some of them forget the abuse (and it was abuse) that leavers got for expressing an opinion.

I lost a lot of respect for a lot of posters in the first six months to 1 year after the referendum due to their attitudes.