To not allow DD to attend sleepovers?

[DizzyPhillips]

I have name changed for this.

DD1 is 4 and starting school this year. I am wondering how necessary it is that I let her attend sleepovers. Probably a while before I have this actual scenario I know (I was 6 or 7 when I had my first one). However, I have just been chatting with DH about this (conversation stemming from chat about “that” MJ documentary) and I’m just interested in points of view (DH thinks I’m probably being unreasonable although “sees where I’m coming from”).

I worry mainly about the possibility of abuse. Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely understand that there is not a paedo on every corner etc etc and not every man is a paedo etc etc and this is generally not something I tend to spend much energy worrying about. I suppose I worry that we might be unlucky. I know how small the risk is but I guess it seems like a hell of a gamble.

I mean I vaguely know some of the parents of girls who will likely be in DDs class at school and they all seem perfectly nice. But 🤷🏻‍♀️ it’s not like you’d know, is it?

I used to go to sleepovers when I was young and nothing untoward ever happened so I accept I am probably being ridiculous. I also worry about her not being looked after properly and getting hurt or trying to get home etc but I think this is me just being silly.

I definitely sound ridiculous don’t I i don’t want to be that parent. I just hate the idea of it. But accept I may just need to be ok with it.

I have found that my anxiety has been quite bad since having children, although I’m getting better at hiding it. It’s just that it all seems so depressingly common these days. I feel like every day there is another story about something bad happening to a child.

To add for me some of the school mums have become genuine friends. It makes a big difference to how you feel.

To add for me some of the school mums have become genuine friends. It makes a big difference to how you feel.

Agree with this. It takes time but I have a social life with a group of school parents now from our DC being in the same class, so it helps to feel more comfortable when and if sleepovers do happen.

Yes a couple of families their homes like a second home to our kids and vice versa

I think there is a big difference between a sleep over at a friends (child their ages) house to a "sleepover" hosted by an adult like in the MJ situation. Having said that my boys 8 and 12 have not been on one but thats as not been asked. If i knew the parents it would not be an issue. My boys are actually inviting friends to stop in few weeks. I get where your coming from but sleepovers where awesome growing up. Just happened my parents allowed them more than others so we often had a house full. My partner works nights so not so happy about them

OP I think your worries are v normal but honestly I would not worry about it until your daughter is older and of the age to have them....I have only just started talking about the idea with my daughter, and mums of her friends and she is 8. Prob by the time you get to it you will know her friends parents well and be happy to let her sleep over. But if you are not that’s no crime either. But you have 2 or 3 years min before you have to worry xx

Don't worry about it yet. As PPs have said, how you feel when the time comes will depend on lots of things. And sleepovers are quite a long way down the line when it comes to entrusting your child to other parents. You've probably got playdates, staying for tea, and days out to come first.

Rainbows/Brownies is a good way of easing yourself into sleepovers as you'll know they are with adults who are DBS checked, first aid trained, and will have done a comprehensive risk assessment.