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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask what's the best and worst piece of advice you've been given/heard?

40 replies

m4rdybum · 22/03/2019 19:30

Don't have to be child related.

9 weeks in with my little girl and I roll my eyes at anyone who says "sleep when she sleeps" - honestly, first two weeks, fair enough, but now DH is back to work, there's shit to be done. I'm not even talking about big jobs, just your bog standard pot washing and bottle sterilizing. Plus, she only sleeps for 30 min or so stints during the day, so if only just be drifting off as she woke up.

On the flip side, someone told me you could crush an Oxo cube up in it's wrapper then tear the corner off to sprinkle in food, and it changed my life Grin

OP posts:
BucketFullOfDinosaurs · 22/03/2019 19:43

Best advice was probably from my uncle, when I got my first car. He told me, since it had just been MOT'd when I bought it, to tax it for 6 months instead of a year the first time, so that the tax renewal and MOT are 6 months apart. That way, if it fails MOT, you don't have to worry about not being able to tax it due to the MOT fail. Not amazing advice, but a nugget that's been useful!

Worst advice is also "sleep when the baby sleeps", and its counterpart "the laundry will still be there tomorrow". No. If I don't do laundry today, none of us will have clean clothes tomorrow, and the laundry pile will be twice as big.

RedHatsDoNotSuitMe · 22/03/2019 19:45

I like
"Kids don't do what you tell them, they do what you SHOW them".

And

"Once is a one-off, twice is a coincidence, three times is a habit"

And (from here) "When someone shows you who they are, believe them".

I ignore the shit advice. actually, I often ignore the good advice as well, but I tend to regret that more!

Congrats on your little girl.

Read This Be the Verse.

Spiritinabody · 22/03/2019 20:01

Whatever the question, ' If in doubt say no' (or do nothing until you are sure of what action to take).

When you're worried about what someone else thinks of you, think 'Will this matter in 5 years?' If the answer is no then reduce the time to, say, 2 years then 1 year then 6 months etc. It puts things into perspective and makes you realise how unimportant things really are.

Johnnysmilkingparlour · 22/03/2019 20:09

Mine is really trivial. When my Dad and I practiced (sp?) walking down the aisle the day before my wedding I felt really silly and self conscious. I am really not into dresses, make up etc and was only wearing a proper wedding dress because DH really wanted me to.

Anyway, my Dad told me to look up and smile because I would look far sillier if I looked at the floor and came across as really uncomfortable. I took his advice on my wedding day and pasted a huge cheesy grin opn my face.. I found that because I was smiling everyone smiled back at me. It ended up not being nearly as bad as I thought it would be. It sounds really daft, but it really helped me.

TheFirstRuleOfFightClub · 22/03/2019 20:12

My mum told me if I didn't fancy sex when I was heavily pregnant, I could wank him off and he could do the same to me! 😂😂

Littlejayx · 22/03/2019 20:14

‘Never leave a room empty handed ‘ from my grandma and it is now just habit and the house is easier to clean.

Worst advice

‘Batch cook and freeze things’

I get bored of throwing out 3 months old chilli 😂

room32 · 22/03/2019 20:15

Worst: when I was 28 weeks pregnant, a colleague advised me to start Slimming World (which she attends) so as to get into"good habits" for losing the baby weight quickly.

Best: to not attempt to work beyond 36 weeks, to give myself (hopefully) a bit of time to myself before baby arrives, since it's the last I'll have...

starabara · 22/03/2019 20:16

@TheFirstRuleOfFightClub

You had a different relationship with your mother to the one I had with mine Grin

Best advice- “you get out what you put in”.

And worst? “Use a mortgage broker”.

superram · 22/03/2019 20:18

Best-don’t make excuses for people.

Worst-nothing really

Ellieboolou27 · 22/03/2019 20:24

It gets easier when they start school - biggest lie EVER

takeasadsongandmakeitbetter · 22/03/2019 20:27

Best -

always be kind, and if you can't be kind be kind be fair

Worst -

Sleep when baby sleeps

Literally must only be said by people who a) don't have babies b) had babies 40 years ago and have forgotten what it's actually like to have a baby

Gazelda · 22/03/2019 20:29

Best: pick your battles
Worst: try a perm

SurgeHopper · 22/03/2019 20:31

Do an arts degree

Mumshappy · 22/03/2019 20:35

Yes sleep when the baby sleeps is the worst. People were still teĺling ne this when i had ds and already had two dds and i am now a single mum. If i dont do it nobody else does.

HarrysOwl · 22/03/2019 20:40

And (from here) "When someone shows you who they are, believe them".

That's Maya Angelou...not MN...

miaCara · 22/03/2019 20:42

Best advice ;-
This too will change .
Works both ways so keeps me grounded when things are going well and keeps my head above water when its all going to shit.

Worst advice:-
Never wash your potatoes but wash your Oxos well. Told to me as a joke by an old aunt when I was too young to understand it . Strangely it has stayed with me for years when great stuff has vanished leaving no trace.

Tawdrylocalbrouhaha · 22/03/2019 20:44

Best advice (from my mum): perfectionism is the enemy of adequacy.

Worst advice (from everyone, but luckily I didn't take it): don't buy a house there, wait until you can afford a good area.

theluckiest · 22/03/2019 20:45

Best advice - Having children means long days but short years. Man alive, that one rings true. My babies are nearly at secondary school and yes, the years just flew.

Worst advice - buy a house in 2007. Shock

toomuchtooold · 22/03/2019 20:46

OP I was coming on here to say "sleep when the baby sleeps" before I even read your post! I got told that one despite having twins. I did manage to get them napping at the same time after about 5 months after a shitload of fine tuning their routine and making sure their room was totally quiet and dark, and then everyone switched to "oh you shouldn't have such an inflexible routine, get them used to napping anywhere so that you're not tied to the house." Fuck. Right. Off.

brizzlemint · 22/03/2019 20:48

To always have a valid passport and to take every opportunity to travel.

CarpeVitam · 22/03/2019 21:05

@RedHatsDoNotSuitMe, thanks for reminding me about Larkin's poem, haven't read it in years. Both humorous and poignant.

QforCucumber · 22/03/2019 21:11

Best - an ex colleague said one day 'you aren't responsible for his happiness, and nor he yours' bloody great thing to remember.

Hidingtonothing · 22/03/2019 21:11

Your body is the most valuable thing you will ever own, treat it with respect. Wish I'd listened Sad

WeeDangerousSpike · 22/03/2019 21:17

Worst advice:-
Never wash your potatoes but wash your Oxos well. Told to me as a joke by an old aunt when I was too young to understand it
Apparently I'm still to young to understand this?!

Definitely agree that sleep when baby sleeps wins the worst advice ever.

Can't think of the best advice - but I feel like 'never go to sleep angry / on an argument' is good. I've just got no idea how to achieve it...

Never drive angry is a good one. Makes you make risky choices and not pay attention. Dangerous.

TheFirstRuleOfFightClub · 22/03/2019 21:21

@starabara she's absolutely batshit! She has always advised us in our 18th birthday cards to not drink on an empty stomach and if you can't be good be careful and if you can't be careful don't get caught.

A colleague that was showing me around at my new place of work told me there was plenty of gossip, 'soak it up, laugh it off'.

I go all around the houses to drop everyone off before work in a morning, there is a short cut but it's rebound for traffic, a few weeks ago my 6 year old son said, 'mummy, just try it', I did and it was fine. Good lad.