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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ignore the midwives and go to the hospital?

85 replies

HJE17 · 21/03/2019 15:50

I’m 39+2 weeks pregnant. The baby descended about two weeks ago and at my midwives appointment yesterday, they said the head was fully engaged and I was 20% effaced. Yesterday I think I lost my mucous plug (Sorry if TMI!) Gentle contractions started last night at 3:45am every 10 minutes or so. My contractions have now been every 5 minutes for a minute, for the last 5 hours. The problem is: They are deeply uncomfortable but not excruciatingly painful. I can still carry on with life despite them, although I’m pretty sure they aren’t Braxton Hicks as the pain crescendos then diminishes, and changing positions doesn’t help at all, nor does staying hydrated. They’re worse than period cramps, but they don’t make me wish for death (which is how I felt when labour was established with my DD!)

The midwives advised me to stay at home until I have a contraction that I can no longer talk through (or if my water breaks or there is bloody discharge).

I’m not typically one to question medical advice, but this is my second baby and I’m aware that once things start in earnest, they can go quickly. The hospital is a 30-50 minute drive away, depending on traffic. WIBU to head that way anyway? Or are the midwives right in saying that this could go on for days and I’ll be more comfortable at home? I just don’t want to end up in the local paper having delivered in a taxi by the side of the road!

OP posts:
HJWT · 21/03/2019 15:53

I personally wouldn't if you can still do daily activities through a contraction then I would wait, how long was your last labour? with my DD it was 4 hours after my water broke xx

Dreamingofkfc · 21/03/2019 15:53

Don't just show up, there might not be anyone to look after you. Ring again and explain your concerns. 2nd labours can ramp up quick, but if it's not labour, you are best at home really

Changingagain · 21/03/2019 15:54

I'd go in and get checked, even if just to put your mind at rest. We have the same length drive to the hospital and I went in with DS when contractions were 3-5 minutes. MW on the phone told me not as they weren't regular and I was coping. When we got there I was 5cm and went straight to the delivery room.

HJWT · 21/03/2019 15:55

Plus if it is a long drive do you really want to drive all the way home if they do check you (which I very much doubt) and your at maybe a 1 or 2 ?

Changingagain · 21/03/2019 15:56

I'll add, I didn't just show up. I got DH to ring the MW back and tell her that we were coming and he couldn't change my mind. I was really worried about giving birth in the car.

SpotlessMind · 21/03/2019 15:56

Just ring them back, if you explain that you’re anxious about it they will almost certainly invite you in for a quick check.

Heulog · 21/03/2019 15:59

Is there somewhere nearer to the hospital you can go? A friends house? Just so your closer if things develop quickly.
We live an hour away from the hospital, so I can completely relate to the worry at the thought of doing the journey while in established labour.

kaytee87 · 21/03/2019 16:03

I'd go in to get checked but wait til after rush hour. Is there somewhere near the hospital you could go for dinner and a walk if you have to leave and go back?

KatharinaRosalie · 21/03/2019 16:04

If I had waited until I couldn't talk through contraction, DC2 would have been born at home. And our hospital is 15 min away..

OneDayillSleep · 21/03/2019 16:05

I think it depends how long your first baby took, if you had a quick ish Labour first time around I’d be inclined to go. My labours were long and drawn out so I hung on at home as long as I could, I waited until I was at the “OMG I want to die this hurts so much” point before going, even then I wasn’t very far on when I got there.

Go and get checked if you are worried, just make sure they know you are on your way. Good luck!

NearlySchoolTimeAgain · 21/03/2019 16:08

Can your community MW visit you?

Imacliche · 21/03/2019 16:08

I had similar to this with my second. The snotty midwife actually said "if you were in labour youd know about it" this was at 10pm. I woke up 3am in agony. Got to hospital fifteen minutes later was 10cm and pushing. She was born 17 minutes after i got to the hosptial. So no pain relief. Id rather have gone earlier than wait 15 minutes at 3am on my rug on all fours panting like a dog

Imacliche · 21/03/2019 16:09

I will add my house to hospital is only 5 minutes (well was that night 😂)

TrixieFranklin · 21/03/2019 16:10

Call them back and ask to be checked over. I think this time if I'm in this situation I'll be going over to MILS who is only 15 mins from hospital, my house is an hour.

Hadalifeonce · 21/03/2019 16:10

Call and tell them your concerns. I was having similar contractions to you, even in the middle of a supermarket shop! DD was born 10 days later!

LeekMunchingSheepShagger · 21/03/2019 16:10

Go and get checked op. If I'd listened to the midwife who told me not to go in (she decided I couldn't be in labour because I could talk to her on the phone) I'd have had an unplanned home birth.

FullOfJellyBeans · 21/03/2019 16:11

Maternity units in the UK are woefully understaffed so the midwives are under enormous pressure to keep women away. Not really their fault but it does mean its quite common for women to be turned away then end up delivering away from hospital or having a mad dash to get in. I had my eldest abroad and was told to come in to be examined whenever and was under no pressure to leave.

Dreamingofkfc · 21/03/2019 16:11

@imacliche - what would you have wanted at 10pm though? Most likely you would have been sent home

Feb2018mumma · 21/03/2019 16:14

They told me not to go up to the hospital as would be sent home, I went anyway, when I got there she said they were going to give me pain meds and send me home, she said she would check me and I was in labour, was rushed to delivery and baby was born 2 hours later! You know yourself best, good luck with your labour Flowers

KnitterOfSocks · 21/03/2019 16:17

If I'd have waited until I couldn't talk through the contractions, DS would have been born in a traffic jam on the A40.

SoupDragon · 21/03/2019 16:18

How quick was your first baby born?

Brown76 · 21/03/2019 16:19

I understand why they say to wait at home in early labour (labour progresses better, you don’t need medical attention) but I’ve heard so many stories on here and IRL of babies born at home/in the car/in the waiting room...I wish you could just turn up once you were in labour so there’s no mad dash or panic. I mean if you turn up at 6pm having already been having regular contractions for 5 hours plus then it’s not unlikely that your baby will be born today/early hours.

IWannaSeeHowItEnds · 21/03/2019 16:21

I'd go. My first baby took ages but my second practically flew out. First labour is no real indication of how second labour will be. Never hurts to get checked out esp if you live a long way from the hospital.

BertieBotts · 21/03/2019 16:21

It's your second, trust your instincts IMO.

HolyForkingShirt · 21/03/2019 16:21

Yeah my neighbour was turned away and gave birth at home with her parents as midwives...so I would go and get checked.