To be fuming about this comment

[takeasadsongandmakeitbetter]

DH has a few days off work. I am on maternity leave with 10 months old DS. Today we went to a playgroup. There were other babies there of a similar age. Many of them competently crawling. DS has tummy crawled for a while and very recently starting crawling on his knees, not so much today as it's slower than commando style. He is very bright generally and climbs, stands, claps, blows raspberries, waves and says some words.

After the group DH asked if I was worried about how 'behind' DS is. I explained that I didn't think he was behind at all. He then asked if the other babies (who can crawl well) were breastfed. I said yes 2 of them were EBF to 6 months. By this point I was on edge as I could see where he was going with it. He then said maybe DS was slower as not breastfed. And then said that breastfed babies are obviously more advanced.

For medical reasons we had to combination feed. I managed to BF to 12 weeks, i was extremely upset about the whole situation as DH knows.

AIBU to want to punch him?? Don't want to go into details of our relationship and how good or terrible he has been generally. Just want some perspective on this comment as I know I am sensitive about the topic!

My older son was walking at 8 months, his cousin bottom-shuffled till 18 months, both breastfed.

Where does your husband get his ideas about child development from? Some babies are much more laid-back about getting themselves around, that was the sole difference between my son and his cousin.

Totally agree Cranston.

Although mine has done a lot of the physical ones quickly, communication wise she can say a few words but her favourite is Dada which is the answer to everything at the moment haha, whereas I know quite a few babies that were early speakers didn't rush the physical ones.

Breastfed both of mine - first crawled at ten months, walked at 13 months. Second crawled at 6 months, walked at 10 months. Your son is not behind. Your DH is a nob.

But your comment about your MIL liking wine is misguided too. It's totally fine to drink wine when breastfeeding.

I breastfed both of mine and neither of them really crawled, my first didn't do a right lot until she was 1 and my second was walking at 10 months. Babies do everything as and when they are ready!

He then said maybe DS was slower as not breastfed

“Maybe you have dominant genes, darling”. Only possible answer to that one. What a knob.

Christ, wait til he starts school! He's gunna be a nightmare on school report day 😅. Doesn't sound like the sharpest knife in the drawer, OP?

Tell him you’ve done some research and if your DS is delayed at all(he isn’t) then it is because of inferior sperm

I have one DC who was formula fed from day one as was premature and I couldn't express, boobs wouldn't comply. Another DC who was breastfed from day 1 til he was 3. Formula fed DC was the healthiest, most physically and cognitively advanced.

If its your first child which it sounds like you can end up listening to all the bollocks and crap opinions and start worrying if it’s something you did or are doing wrong.

Your dh needs to take everything these people say with a pinch of salt and every child progresses at different rates, I child might be good at crawling but another child might not crawl as much but start walking quicker.

I remember one of our old neighbours years ago said the reason my son cried when he said hello to him when he was a baby was because he didn’t socialise with other children, I don’t know how he came to that conclusion that he did see other children, and at 6 months old which he was at the time he wouldn’t give a monkey who’s company he was in unless that person was giving him a bottle.

My 10 month old EBF until 6 months then BF and weaned with only fresh home cooked food grand daughter is still only dragging herself along the floor 😂. Tell your husband there are more than enough things to worry about when you have kids and your baby not crawling properly is not one of them.

He's making ridiculous correlations where they don't exist which is just unhelpful.

FWIW, DS was FF (I was upset too but have long forgotten that!), walked late - 15m I think, now is 15, rubbish at sports but happy and doing extremely well academically. All balances out.

Formula fed both of mine. One starts her PhD (science stuff) this year, and the other her Masters next year... Both qualified life savers, volunteers. and are very fit and active.

Your 'D'H is an arse.

Babies develop at different rates. There's no 'normal' with babies and your DH would do well to remember that. They will learn to walk etc at their own speed, and there's no need for parents to fret over milestones. If there was a concern then surely the HV would approach it with you. But tbh what you've described is fine.

I was born premature (11 weeks early!), Very low birth weight (1lb 13ounces) and was FF. I didn't walk reliably until around 18montha and did need to have special boots to help me. By the time I stated nursery at 3 I was no different to my peers. I'm 24 now and can walk, jog, run etc fine.

Everything evens out in the end. Your DH is being ridiculous. And suggesting FF is the problem when he knows that wasn't a possibility, is not nice

Oh dear.

That silly comment is going to cost your DH a fair few blowjobs.

He's quite wrong. You'll find that most people making silly, unsolicited comments about your kids are.

How was your DH fed because he is thick as shit if he thinks it’s as simple as BF= more advanced. Idiot. He shouldn’t comment on things he clearly doesn’t understand.

FWIW my first was FF and crawled at 8 months. Walked at 13 months.

My second was BF until 20 months and never crawled at all! He walked at 17 months.

Punch? I'd boot him squarely in the nuts!
My DS never crawled he just got up walked round the furniture at 11 mths then within a week walked across the room, they are all different feck all to do with what they were fed.

Bottlefed ds walked at 10 months. Breastfed eldest walked at 17 months.

Is he usually so insensitive?

My current nanny charge was breastfed for 18 months, she is 18 months. she has only just started saying words, she only started walking in jan and she didn’t crawl till she was over 1.

I’m sorry your husband has been so unkind. he’s talking out of his arse.

My previous charge was crawling at 8 months, walking at 14 months, could speak in full sentences at 18 months etc and was fully bottle fed.

My COMPLETELY formula fed DD1 walked at 9 Months.
I'm kind of hoping DD2 waits a little longer!

So much judgement over formula feeding is awful.

As long as baby is fed, that's what matters!

OP I could only bf for first week and then expressed for two weeks but gave up. I felt guilty and I'm sure I would have thrown a punch or two if DS's dad said this to me.

Not looking for an excuse, but do you have an interfering MIL who may be dripping poison into his ear about this?

Hi I can totally relate to this. And I would be very hurt if my husband said this. He interferes and has a lot of opinions about BF and crawling and everything really to do with our baby but I always say every baby is different. But it can really knock your confidence so don't let that happen as it has with me.

Don’t clean up the wee on the pillow. You’re showing considerable restraint if you don’t smack him in the face with DS’s next poopy diaper.

An equally accurate fact is that children bonding to two main caregivers are more physically advanced, they know there is more than one person/zone of support and get more comfortable with moving away from it because there’s another one out there. If only your dh had done more bonding your ds would probably be walking.
Maybe someone can refine that to sound a little better. but you need to start exclaiming ‘oh if only you’d spent more time bonding with him he’d... eat bettrr, eat veggies, clap, say dada, etc etc...

My EBF son hardly crawled and started walking at around 14 months. All babies are different.

Op, you have to he smarter About this.

Can you be in the kitchen at the same time and accidentally open a cupboard into
HIs face? Straight up punching him just makes you look bad.