To be fuming about this comment

[takeasadsongandmakeitbetter]

DH has a few days off work. I am on maternity leave with 10 months old DS. Today we went to a playgroup. There were other babies there of a similar age. Many of them competently crawling. DS has tummy crawled for a while and very recently starting crawling on his knees, not so much today as it's slower than commando style. He is very bright generally and climbs, stands, claps, blows raspberries, waves and says some words.

After the group DH asked if I was worried about how 'behind' DS is. I explained that I didn't think he was behind at all. He then asked if the other babies (who can crawl well) were breastfed. I said yes 2 of them were EBF to 6 months. By this point I was on edge as I could see where he was going with it. He then said maybe DS was slower as not breastfed. And then said that breastfed babies are obviously more advanced.

For medical reasons we had to combination feed. I managed to BF to 12 weeks, i was extremely upset about the whole situation as DH knows.

AIBU to want to punch him?? Don't want to go into details of our relationship and how good or terrible he has been generally. Just want some perspective on this comment as I know I am sensitive about the topic!

My DS was EBF for six months and I continued to bf while weaning. He didn’t crawl at all until 9 1/2 months - before that he just rolled! Your DH is talking out of his arse.

He should really read a book on child development.

This exactly.

(My two were both EBF until around the age of two. There is no fucking way that anyone would ever be able to know this if I didn't tell them. And even if there was such an obvious and big difference between BF and FF babies on the individual level - which as we all know, there isn't - WTAF are you meant to do if you're unable to breastfeed for whatever reason?)

Yanbu hes such an idiot. My ds crawled absolutely perfectly at 6 months and he was formula fed.
Dont get too hung up about bf vs ff. Two of my friends have Bf their two kids and compared to ds similar age, they are forever sick as well.
Fed is best and it's not a competition.
Your DC is doing perfectly fine.

Can’t honestly remember when dd19 crawled but she was a late walker, late at tolerating home cooked food, generally got round to everything(except talking) late, in her own good time. She’s still the same now - gets there when she’s good and ready - but she’s gorgeous, clever, loving, talented and thriving at Oxbridge.

She was EBF but only until 4 months when she used to have a bottle of formula at teatime because I couldn’t produce enough milk. I can’t take credit for any of her achievements; she’s done everything herself, but I would put money on it having absolutely bugger all to do with breastfeeding. 🙄

Your DS sounds adorable and perfect. Your DH is a thoughtless twat. Punch away.

I breastfed dd1 for a year. She sat at 8 months, bum shuffled at 14 months and finally, finally walked at 2 years 1 week. Never crawled.

Dd2, also breastfed, is 8 months and showing signs of crawling. But then her sleep is shocking compared to her sister.

Babies develop at different rates. How they're fed has no bearing on it.

His comment was hurtful and bollocks.
I have 2 dc. One was breastfed, the other got formula. The bf one is struggling at school, has possible adhd, loves learning but can't focus. That child also did the commando crawl.

The ff child is ahead at school, reads well, makes friends easily, can read and write well and is more confident. That child crawled properly and walked earlier.

The way they're fed as babies makes no difference whatsoever.

My eldest never crawled. He used to wriggle along like a caterpillar and at 10 months just got up and walked. Younger one crawled and walked a bit later.

No correlation at all. DD was breastfed exclusively until she weaned then carried on breast feeding til after age 1. She was one of the last to crawl in our baby group at 9.5mths but no one ever commented. Her cousin crawled at 6mths also breast fed exclusively and you'd never tell who crawled first now - they're teens now.

Not helpful at all I'm afraid. You can show him the following if it helps! Exclusively BF DD shes 11 months ...doesnt crawl at all (lots of rolling around) not yet standing , waving or any of the things you've mentioned! DS combination of BF and FF and walking by 12 months! Honestly they seem to just want to do their own thing xxx

I couldn't breastfeed as I didn't produce any milk at all,If my dh had said that id have throat punched him

Mine had pumped breast milk til 4 months then combo til 6 then formula from them. Never bloody crawled. Clearly my milk wasn't crawling juice.

Dd was mix fed from a month, breastfed exclusively the first month.
She crawled on her first birthday. Walked at 17 months.
I was bottle fed and went to uni.
Absolutely no link between development and breastfeeding feeding.
Has he been reading parenting stuff online? Dh was a bit hung up on milestones when she was small. He's learnt babies do their own thing.

Omg-how hurtful & stupid!

Let's hope that your son doesn't take after his dad in either respect!

I'd like to see a grown man showing a baby how to crawl!

That's ridiculous. My DS never had a single drop of breastmilk (I had none) and has gone on to excel in everything he has done and is now at one of the top universities. He's tall, fit and able. Ignore the tosser

Please please tell him you have spoken to the Health Visitor and she suggests that the best thing is for the same sex parent to show him how to do it.

I am having visions of him crawling around a lounge with DS staring at him and you trying not to laugh.

Then he needs to show him how to pull himself up on furniture etc.

YANBU at all. I had 3 who were ebf and 1 who couldn't suck so was ff from 4 months. DD's possibly the brightest in her class. Please tell him to FOTTFSOFATFOSM.

I've read the posts and I think you had the perfect come back to your DH's comment OP but if he were my DH I would have tried in vain to come up with some witty comment about how it might have had something to do with the lazy sperm that was his contribution and suggest he get himself checked out! But after thinking about it, your response was perfect!

Your DH seems to have his head well up his own arse here.

Does he even realise that actually not all babies crawl? My DD1 did crawl but I can't remember at exactly what age. She walked at just coming up to 14 months. DD2 and DD3 both bum shuffled from 8 months. DD2 then walked (finally) at 23 months. DD3 walked at 21 months. All were formula fed. No two babies are totally alike however they are fed though, and comparing them is pointless.

I would love to see a grown man trying to teach a baby to crawl though. If you see DH trying that then do film it.

What a load of shit he's talking!

This is such bollocks.
My friend who EFF just told me her son got into grammar school no tutoring etc.
he also spoke at 9 months walked at 11.

mine were all breastfed and one of them couldn't be arsed to get up until she was 22 months.

he's being a dick.

"Actually, DH, babies with 2 clever parents are more advanced. Unfortunately for baby, only his mummy is clever."

'Idiot' flatters him.

I bf three children to between 3 and 4.5 years each and one never crawled and two (the same two who never had a single drop of formula pass their lips) didn't walk until 17 months. He can put that in his pipe and smoke it.

(And your ds, obviously, isn't 'behind'. It's not a bloody race)

Why would he say a thing like that? I can only imagine he is being deliberately cruel. Could that be the case?

I would be beyond hurt if my DH said something like this to me. He must have realised it would upset you, no one can be that oblivious surely? Does he often make comments to put you down OP?

When he goes back to work, ask him to identify which colleagues were bf and which ff.

After all, should be obvious...