Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want this person to come to my home and to cancel?

155 replies

Shocksandboooos · 21/03/2019 10:01

I am selling an item on shpock. I’ve had an offer on it for £40 which I have accepted and the buyer has accepted.
However they keep asking for my mobile number and won’t give me a straight answer about when they want to collect.
Am I being ridiculous?

I don’t know but something is just making me uncomfortable. I have sold a few times in this way and have never had any worries.

OP posts:
Dongdingdong · 23/03/2019 22:20

I don’t know why, but if I get messages back that are bad grammar/bad English, I am also a bit wary. I can’t explain why I feel that way but I do.

Hmm
expat101 · 23/03/2019 22:36

They might only have limited time to make contact with you and thus the ''push'' to get something sorted.

What about a neighbour? Meet the buyer outside number ?? repeating about your Son's chickenpox and have a neighbour present.

Just get it over with.

TenThousandSpoons · 23/03/2019 22:45

I’ve bought off Facebook selling pages and eBay collection and would always ask for address early on. “Hi, I can collect this evening or tomorrow morning. What’s your address pls?” I’ve also sold and given my address out. (I do usually have a look at their fb profile first.)

I think you’d feel fine about this if DH were home, you’re probably feeling a bit wary as home alone and chicken pox makes you feel extra vulnerable. Can you say pick up next week (or whenever DH back) and you’ll give our address on the day?

Vitalogy · 24/03/2019 06:33

If the texts had been articulate like - “would you be able to give me your full address?” I wonder if you might have taken them differently. Not judging just wondering! I think even if English isn't someone's first language you can still get a vibe of polite or rude. OP's buyers just sounded rude and pushy. I don't blame her. Like PP have said, you can give out your street name, then when more solid arrangements have been made and you feel ok, give the rest of the details.

Teateaandmoretea · 24/03/2019 07:06

I’d personally think you were the one being dodgy if you expected to meet in a public place rather than your home address. I’d assume the item you were selling was either knocked off or faulty

^^this, me too.

But if there's something not right then cancel, nothing wrong with listening to your instincts. Just bear in mind he may well be thinking you are dodgy too.

Catwaving · 24/03/2019 08:14

I would NOT like those messages either

Cancel

BlueBuilding · 24/03/2019 08:43

If I was a buyer, no way would I go and meet the seller in some pub carpark! Odd advice on here.

OP I wouldn't have sold an item at a time when I'd have to be alone for collection if it was an issue for me.

All this sounds like hard work and the reason I hate selling/ buying online, when cash on collection is involved.

Italiangreyhound · 24/03/2019 08:46

Having taught learners of English for several years I'd say the messages do not sound like someone who had English as a second language. If anything, people who have English as a second language are often quite formal.

Although one may not want to generalise.

It really doesn't matter what put you on your guard, what worried you etc. Listen to your gut.

And never put a good or bad report on eBay above your safety.

I remember selling stuff when I was younger through notice boards etc. And dh gives stuff away through freecycle now.

But I don't.

I don't know what you told the buyer. But I'd just be very wary these days about telling total strangers that I was a woman at home with a small child and my dh was away.

Stay safe and don't letter others judge you for your reasons for gut instinct. Sometimes we just do not know why. Read 'Thr gift of fear' by Gareth Dr Becker here

cranstonmanor · 24/03/2019 09:01

Don't see the problem abojt the phone number, you can always block them afterwards.

I met a seller at a tube station once. Felt nice and safe for both of us.

Mememeplease · 24/03/2019 09:09

If they are dodgy, you've now told them you are alone during the week. I'd now not ever give them my address. Handover somewhere else.

Ilovemypantry · 24/03/2019 19:01

colditz
Yes, you’re right I probably am.

celticprincess · 24/03/2019 22:48

I have a friend who has a very basic mobile phone and only access the internet via a computer. He came to my house once to pick something up, first time, and got lost because I hadn’t given him a phone number as we usually message through messenger. He turned up having walked around the area for an hour. I felt bad for him. It is possible that the buyer is in a similar position. Or simply won’t have data on their phone so needs to use text to message. They could be using a WiFi only tablet to buy online. In fact my own mother doesn’t access the internet in her phone unless it’s on WiFi. She doesn’t buy data. And my dad doesn’t even have a mobile or internet or computer so it’s landline only for him (he wouldn’t buy and sell online).

celticprincess · 24/03/2019 22:53

I’ll also add that I have bought and sold loads of things from FB and shpock. I’ve had people collect from my house - they
Only ever come to the door. I’ve had things brought to my house. I’ve also taken things to people and collected them from people at their houses. Never had any issues. Always communicate by the app
I’m using. I never give out my weekly schedule about when I’m out but do suggest when would be convenient. Once I met someone at the local shopping centre but it felt really weird.

CSIblonde · 25/03/2019 01:23

Handover the item at the nearest bus stop or tube/train station. But presumably they asked for the address so they knew where to pick up from & to sort their transport & journey timings. I just meet people at the door with the dog. 20seconds to accept cash & hand it over.

SuchAToDo · 25/03/2019 03:50

Op of course they need your mobile phone number and address

What if they have never been to the town/area you live in and they get lost...are they supposed to pull over to the side if the road, message you on shpock and then wait there for however many hours it takes for you to go on shpock...

You are being unreasonable, what do you think they are going to do with your mobile phone number...you can always block them afterwards...maybe they want it so they can call for directions...and maybe that's why they want the address too, otherwise how are they supposed to collect the item

I can't believe you actually want to sell something, but won't give them an address to collect it, and think they are pushy to want an address..(how are they supposed to get the item they are buying otherwiseHmm)

And you say them asking for your address to collect the item you are selling makes you uncomfortable,

Have you ever thought how you come across to them, at best I'd be thinking scammer, at worst of be assuming your a rapist/murderer/attacker, not wanting to give any address so I can't tell anyone where I'm going,

Op i don't think online selling is for.you, you don't seem to grasp that when you sell, people actually have to com and collect the itemHmm

Italiangreyhound · 25/03/2019 07:58

SuchAToDo loads of people on this thread gave explained how they sell but do not sell from home.

HarrySnotter · 25/03/2019 10:43

I've sold loads of stuff on Shpock and never given anyone my mobile. You absolutely do not need to and most people don't even ask for it. People message me on there and I get a notification immediately and check the message and respond straight away. I'm not sure why this is hard to understand.

thankssomuchforthat · 25/03/2019 15:46

Do these people who start threads like this and dont come back just make stuff up? Surely if this was authentic theyd b back telling everyone what happened?

Vitalogy · 25/03/2019 18:06

Do these people who start threads like this and dont come back just make stuff up? Surely if this was authentic theyd b back telling everyone what happened? I wouldn't blame OP for not returning to thread. Most posters don't listen to what's being said anyway, so it's a waste of time saying anymore. Boils down to, listen to you instinct. Nowt wrong with that! It's a £40m item, even if it was £400, not worth the upset.

Original poster
Shocksandboooos · 25/03/2019 18:12

Yes they came when dh was home. Asked me to show them how the item worked and then tried to give me £25 for it. When I pointed out that we’d agreed £40, he offered me another 2 quid then left in a huff when I said no.

Oh well.

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 25/03/2019 18:13

I don't think op really thought this selling stuff business through

EggysMom · 25/03/2019 18:18

Yes they came when dh was home. Asked me to show them how the item worked and then tried to give me £25 for it. When I pointed out that we’d agreed £40, he offered me another 2 quid then left in a huff when I said no.

So your instinct was correct, and continued to try their luck even with DH present. Go with your instinct next time and cancel!

Original poster
Shocksandboooos · 25/03/2019 18:18

Again. I can see everyone’s points about why I may have been unreasonable. I can’t explain why this made me edgy it just did. I am quite happy to be told that aibu.

I have however, bought and sold lots online and have collected or had collection when dh is away before with no problem.

OP posts:
Vitalogy · 25/03/2019 18:20

I don't think Anyfucker RTFT.

You were right all along OP, oh well, another buyer will be along.

AnyFucker · 25/03/2019 18:45

I read the thread. I cross posted with op's last message. Check the times Vitalogy