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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want this person to come to my home and to cancel?

155 replies

Shocksandboooos · 21/03/2019 10:01

I am selling an item on shpock. I’ve had an offer on it for £40 which I have accepted and the buyer has accepted.
However they keep asking for my mobile number and won’t give me a straight answer about when they want to collect.
Am I being ridiculous?

I don’t know but something is just making me uncomfortable. I have sold a few times in this way and have never had any worries.

OP posts:
CurtainsOpen · 21/03/2019 12:52

Careful. If they have your mobile number they might... DUN DUN DUN... call you on it! Shock Trust your instincts hun. Log it JIC.

Grimbles · 21/03/2019 13:00

Safety works both ways. I would be nervous of going to a strangers home and would want basic details to provide some reassurance.

GabsAlot · 21/03/2019 13:33

if u dont want them to have your mobile number fine-how about getting a payg phone just for selling though
they might jsut want to look it up before they go
youve got to give them your full home address

Purpleartichoke · 21/03/2019 13:39

I don’t give my actual address and phone number until the day of the meeting. Before that, I use close cross streets.

Meandmetoo · 21/03/2019 13:41

Another one here who would think you're a bit of a time waster / scammer. I'd want to know the address before I commit to a time because the exact address might impact on what time I can get there, and I'd want a mobile number as an additional check so at least I've got something in case you weren't in or not where we arranged to meet etc, and so i could make sure someone else had it just in case.

Sorry op, imo you're the issue here.

SugarPlumLairy2 · 21/03/2019 13:53

I bought an item off gumtree. The seller refused to give me her address until the day I was to collect it. She was a young woman, possibly home alone and I can totally see why she did it. I also had another lady ask to meet me at a corner shop. Each time I could understand that they wer3 not keen to have a stranger at their home or let a stranger know that they’d be at work with an empty house all day.

If you feel awkward cancel it. Say you broke the item in transit.

For anyone who doesn’t listen to their gut instinct because they don’t want to be the mpolite “the gift of fear” by Gavin DeBecker.

Hope transaction goes well .

Original poster
Shocksandboooos · 21/03/2019 13:54

Ok thanks. I completely see how this might make me sound like a loon. It’s just a gut instinct thing that I can’t quite explain.

I have messaged them to say that they can either meet in public tomorrow or come to the house when dh is home at the weekend.

OP posts:
Dramatical · 21/03/2019 13:57

I would ask for a mobile number just in case if I was collecting something tbh. It doesn't seem that strange. However I have to echo the posters above, if you don't feel right don't do it.

JuniperGinYay · 21/03/2019 14:14

Tbh from the short messages you posted it looks to me you’re either dealing with someone with low literacy or poor English and they are bamboozled by your replies that are off script.

roses2 · 21/03/2019 14:15

I always ask for a mobile number when I buy a collection item from eBay. So I can let them know when I am on the way or if I get lost and can’t find them.

MyKingdomForBrie · 21/03/2019 14:55

I would never set out to collect an item without the full address! Your prerogative though.

MulticolourMophead · 21/03/2019 15:55

OP, given that you've as already said the buyer is ad the street and town names, then them not giving at least a window of time for estimated collection is odd, especially if they are then pushing for the house number, as well as the phone number.

MulticolourMophead · 21/03/2019 15:56

Sorry, should be buyer has had the street and town name

WildfirePonie · 21/03/2019 17:15

Look at the buyers English ‘wot yur Mobil?’ Or ‘wot adres?’

He/she is probably foreign and doesn't understand what you are asking?!

MolyHolyGuacamole · 21/03/2019 17:22

Thinking it could possibly be that they don't have much data and so want to be able to text when they are out?

IceRebel · 21/03/2019 18:35

then them not giving at least a window of time for estimated collection is odd

But they gave a rough time they said they would collect at 12. Confused

Onepuddingisneverenough · 23/03/2019 17:33

TBzh I wouldn’t buy something that said collection of the buyer wanted to meet in a car park. I’d just think the seller was dodgy?

Why sell something if you don’t want them to collect when your OH is away?

Arrange for them to attend once OH is back?

canadianbanana · 23/03/2019 17:38

Choose a public place to meet, not your house.

Fiveletters · 23/03/2019 17:43

Did they collect it in the end?

JustOneShadeOfGrey · 23/03/2019 17:45

I don’t understand how you can sell from your home if you have no way to allow the buyer to collect?

I sell and buy on Gumtree and it’s normal practice to contact each other by mobile and for the seller to give out their address.

LilQueenie · 23/03/2019 17:51

Have you sold items like this before OP?

Italiangreyhound · 23/03/2019 18:00

I agree with SugarPlumLairy2

"If you feel awkward cancel it. Say you broke the item in transit.

For anyone who doesn’t listen to their gut instinct because they don’t want to be the mpolite “the gift of fear” by Gavin DeBecker."

Shocksandboooos

"I completely see how this might make me sound like a loon. It’s just a gut instinct thing that I can’t quite explain." YANBU and you do not look like a loon.

Obviously you need to agree a time and place to meet and they need to know that but they do not need to know your home address or mobile number.

Please only do what you are you are happy to do. It's not worth £40 to give your address or mobile number to a stranger.

Some people are happy to give out address and numbers, their choice. You do not need to do it to make a sale.

Plus always ALWAYS trust your instincts, they are there for a reason and people on the internet are wrong to try and persuade you otherwise.

Thanks
PurpleCrazyHorse · 23/03/2019 18:07

I've not had the guts to do it but we collected an item where the lady selling had DH text her when he was leaving and she then text him her house number (he knew the road from the ad). It was a good way of not giving out her full address until someone was on their way, rather than have a no show who then knows your address and could turn up at any other time asking for the item. We had already agreed a day and time, so she knew to expect a text.

Seemed a clever idea, didn't put us off either.

Verynice · 23/03/2019 18:20

Well he's not going to know the time until he knows a postcode to input! How can he collect it if he doesn't know where to go?

whyamievenamazeddotcom · 23/03/2019 18:25

You are not being silly I’d never allow someone to collect fro me my home arrange a public place they may just be wanting a come back in case item is faulty etc but if they won’t agree to public place meet say you’ll need to cancel btw on all future listings say collection from public place only

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