Is this school newsletter too rude?

[RudeHead]

NC as obviously outing to other parents. This week's primary school newsletter had the following from the head^^ about parents' evening...

Thank you for all the positive comments that teachers received yesterday. They all work so hard for each child in their class. Though I have noticed that there are too many parents not attending the parents meeting and making individual appointments with teachers before and after school This will not be allowed. We start at 1.30pm and finish at 7pm so whatever job you have, you can still make the consultation. I have to keep the workload down for our teachers. If there is a reason why you cannot meet on the designated parent consultation, which is dated in September, then please write to me.

AIBU that this is unacceptably rude? I feel like I should write in or something. I get her point but surely there's a better way to make it?

Not unreasonable, too many parents take the piss; your child isn't the only child in the universe, my big bearer is the parents who way overrun their allotted time despite the Q of parents sitting waiting. Also why has it become the norm to take your child to sit and listen to the teacher with you? My kids range from 13/24 and I've never took them in.

YellowFish123
it's not a lie, one of my work colleague had a child with Leukemia in the States. There's a reason why the family is no longer living there.

As I said, the parent and child are the teacher's clients @cantkeepawayforever, it's up to the teacher to meet their needs.

You can say it as often as you like, but it doesn't make it true. What free schools do is irrelevant.

agree it's badly worded but not rude

I would also wonder, Yellowfish, how many pupils each teacher - i presume ou mean primary, as that is what i am talking about - is personally responsibile for?

I am solely responsible for 32 - as in, I am the only possible teacher 32 sets of parents can talk to. No other adult could be of any use in discussing progress or concerns. are you saying that, if i taught in your DH's school, i would personally be on call 13+ hours every day for any concerns relating to those children?

i already work 12+ hour days for them. i am unwilling to have that extended further in order to be available at will to parents, at any time on any day.

I start work at 7.30am but have to be on the ward by 7am for handover. I finish work at 7.30pm, and get home by about 8pm.

If DD's school sent a letter in those terms, I would most definitely be replying!

Although, if the dates are set way in advance I would be able to request the specific date as an off day.

Big storm in a teacup.

I think they are right-most people with over 6months notice should be able to get 1 parent there. And the HT has clearly said if you can’t, then write to me and we will sort it out. I suspect her and her teachers are pissed off at the chancers who think they can go any day, any time, for as long as they want!

Although, if the dates are set way in advance I would be able to request the specific date as an off day.

And that's the point, isn't it? The school can request this, because they give so much notice. Their position would be much less reasonable if they gave less notice, or if there wasn't an option to request an exception via the head.

@cantkeepawayforever
I don't think Yellow is going to answer your questions!!
I can imagine the staff turnover rate 😂

Hi @Thisismyschool! I do like the head and in person she comes across as caring but this isn't the first time I've been shocked at what she's said or the tone.

I didn't bother mentioning the half day, as it was just extra money for our childminder!

paddling I agree with the Head. Simply saying it is not true that you can only access these other services on weekdays.

Sounds like its the parents that have been rude and making extra work for the teachers. This is your child's education. Why should the teachers inconvenience themselves for parents who aren't willing to inconvenience themselves in the name of their children's education.

Yes I know but you cannot access your hairdresser 6 days a week or your individual GP 6 days a week. They will generally work 5 days. Can you call your hairdresser and insist she works on a Monday (or whatever your day off is?) Yes you can see a GP on a Saturday morning but will it always be your named GP ?

Of course not, its not a useful comparison. Unless you are happy to see 'a' teacher, not your child's teacher.

I agree with the pp who talked about the service meeting the needs of the client. DH is a headteacher and his school offers 'on demand' appointments over a period of a month to ensure parents find a time that suits them. Attendance is almost 100% and teachers know not to organise anything for evenings during this month, as they could be booked for a parents' appointment at a few days notice.

Good god. How on earth can your DH be meeting his legal duty of care obligations to his staff? For a whole month they aren’t allowed to have any work life balance? Can’t keep up with any weekly activities/hobbies they may enjoy? Can’t arrange to go out and see friends/family? Accept no invites? No activiites for their kids? I thought I’d heard some awful work stories in my time, but this takes the biscuit. Does he actually employ qualified teachers? Because there’s a teacher shortage crisis going on and I can’t see his school being very competitive.

As I said, the parent and child are the teacher's clients @cantkeepawayforever, it's up to the teacher to meet their needs.

Oh heavens. I'm embarrassed for you! What an arselike view to hold!

Do you also consider a hospital patient & their relatives to be a Drs' or Nurses' "client"? Not everything in life can be explained away in terms of corporate wankery.

I have children at state and private schools; in my experience there has been zero difference in how parents evenings are organised. If anything, the state school has later available time slots for parents; which rather belies Yellow's viewpoint.

I think the head is out of touch with how many jobs are these days. My job is so dynamic and appointments or get added to last minute. If my VPs want me at an event or its financial year end or if im speaking at an event abroad..there is no backing out unless I'm ill.

It’s poorly written. To write ‘this will not be allowed’ is just unfortunate tone, pretty much guaranteed to raise some hackles.

I understand the message and sympathise and don’t think it is an unreasonable looking at all.
This reads like a first draft written quickly before second draft ‘massaged it a bit’. I have no doubt she feels what she wrote (probably feels more strongly even - ffs why don’t you come when we are here instead of messing us about)but she should have tweaked it before sending it out.

@Kolo

Sorry! Tone can be difficult to read right when it’s just text

DH runs a very successful free school

Oh, a free school!? Explains a lot. There is no way you, as the wife of a Head, you would know how successful the school was, bar some marketing/PR, manipulated stats and what your DH tells you. Have you personally interviewed every member of staff (support and teaching), interviewed every pupil and interviewed every parent/cater?
Thought not.
Unless your DH is the Head referred to in the OP, they are not all that successful, sadly.

‘Policy’ not ‘looking’ I should have redrafted my own !

What do you do for childcare if your appointments can be added at any time?

But Cookie, you can write to the head! It would be unfortunate and unlikely if in the majority of the school's two parent families, parents had both parents with urgent unscheduled work commitments and were working shifts etc.

@MsRabbitRocks

DH's background is not in teaching, but in business. The commercial approach he has imolemented within the school as headteacher has led to great outcomes for children and very satisfied parents. The school is now extremely oversubscribed and many of the staff are enjoying the agile, exciting and innovative culture and working practices he has put in place.

I’m at the bar and very similar - court diary sometimes settled months in advance but can change daily and be all over the country at times. No way on earth I could commit to a slot no matter how much notice I had been given unless I took the week out to clear my diary and avoid eg cases going long etc.
Yes another reason women with children often struggle to stay in the profession.