Is this school newsletter too rude?

[RudeHead]

NC as obviously outing to other parents. This week's primary school newsletter had the following from the head^^ about parents' evening...

Thank you for all the positive comments that teachers received yesterday. They all work so hard for each child in their class. Though I have noticed that there are too many parents not attending the parents meeting and making individual appointments with teachers before and after school This will not be allowed. We start at 1.30pm and finish at 7pm so whatever job you have, you can still make the consultation. I have to keep the workload down for our teachers. If there is a reason why you cannot meet on the designated parent consultation, which is dated in September, then please write to me.

AIBU that this is unacceptably rude? I feel like I should write in or something. I get her point but surely there's a better way to make it?

I'm sure most people would be able to save the date for something with 6 months notice...should they want to.
There isn't a teacher in the land that wouldn't meet a parent outside that window (or at least have a phone conversation) if they genuinely had no option, we all have last minute emergencies occasionally. This school clearly has a small proportion of parents that have been making side appointments to fit round whatever they consider to be more important than their annual meeting about their child. Every school I've worked in has only offered between say 3.30 and 7.30 so it's not like this head is offering unusually restricted appointment times either.

My child is at the same school, I got the same newsletter. I don’t think it’s rude exactly, maybe a bit abrupt.
To be honest I think it’s fairly reasonable, lots of schools do not start parents consultations so early in the day, many are after the normal school day. You are also free to bring your child with you if need be, so fairly flexible in terms of making arrangements for child care too. She gives the parents plenty of notice, we all know when the consultations are taking place. Most people can make suitable arrangements with 6 months notice. The school is flexible and approachable and in extenuating circumstances, I have no doubt they would make arrangements to meet with parents who genuinely cannot make the consultations. I think she’s backing the staff on this one.

The head isn't rude but is presuming a lot.

DDs school list parents evening in the calendar but only give you and appointment time a couple days before which is irritating. DH is self employed and they mostly clash. When he doesn't attend its not that he doesn't care it's just our bills need paying and he can't just not work.

For all those who have said schools decide on and publish parents evenings dates in advance....ours dont. If they do, they don't share it . Three years in the run I tried to find out when it is. If we are lucky they might say week commencing, but keep the actual day a secret until a week or two before . Then the slots fill up really fast and as mire than half the parents actually work, they all want slots after 5.

Kids don't need to go skiing, or to Dubai or to Disneyland every year. I'm sure they'd far rather have two weeks at any destination, and have parent(s) attend their school plays once in a while.

That’s very presumptuous. We work to keep a roof over our heads, feed and clothe the kids & supplement their education with extra curricular they are talented in. Dh is a teacher, I used to run after school classes but now work in an office. I consider us well off.

Where I live parents are working various shifts in supermarkets, hospitals, call centres etc. London is seen as exotic never mind Dubai and Disneyland. The choice is to work the hours available or live off benefits.

The school calendar has to go through consultation with staff, governors and union reps. It will be drafted in the summer term, gone through consultation, adjusted, and be ready for staff and parents by first day in September. Many schools have online calendars too, and all parents evenings for the year will have been calendared and available on the website, as well as a paper copy sent home in every school I’ve worked in.

My DC have recently started at a new school, and the calendar on their school website only gives details of school holidays and inset days. Every other day is blank.

The newsletter gives some details of future events but only about 3 weeks ahead.

In that scenario couldn't you attend and feedback to your husband

I did use to do that Pixels. On one occasion I mentioned something that was bothering my husband about DS2 and she was quite snippy saying "well if he could have been bothered to come...". I cut her short and reminded her that he was deployed at the time and therefore it was impossible. DS2 was in Yr2 at the time so she had been made aware.

I didn't mind doing parents evenings/school plays/sports days etc on my own, it was a given tbh. It's the "whatever job you have" that I take exception to.

I think it's quite rude actually. Not everyone works standard 9-5. I work for the nhs. I do 12-8 shifts and 2-10 shifts. I also do 12 hours shifts 8-8. I couldn't make even 1.30 parents evening. Why should I use valuable annual leave for parents evening instead of using it for a nice holiday enjoying my children!
I understand the point they are making but it's still quite blunt and biased toward shift working parents.

@mumtomaxwell as the Dd of a retired head of 6th form and with several retired teachers in my family I think you’ll find that the parents ARE your clients if you’re a teacher. Certainly that’s how my family members regarded parents.

I think it's rude and patronising. Head clearly has no idea what life in the real world is like.

I'd love a late appointment. My son's SEN school gives three weeks notice of Parents Evening, with slots at 3:30pm, 4pm or 4:30pm.

But I suck it up, and book a half-day annual leave. Because that's what I have to do.

*““What jobs do people have where they literally cant book an afternoon off 6 months in advance?”

Teaching!”
So a teacher wouldn’t be able to commit to a meeting between 6 and 7 in 6 months time?*

@bertrandrussel I’d have had the whole year school calendar back in the previous summer term. Unless I had to have something like an emergency medical procedure, I’d never be allowed to book an afternoon off. If I had a parents evening calendared, I couldn’t (as a teacher) make any other appointment for myself during that time; the calendar would have been through consultation and I’d have to be there as my contract defines.

It’s blunt and to the point.

HT must be aware that she will get emails and I’m sure she will look at each circumstance where a parent is unable to attend and hopefully accommodate accordingly.

While it’s understandable that many people work unsociable hours/long shifts etc etc there’s plenty of notice in this case and that’s the point she’s trying to make.

There’s plenty of times where we have to ‘bend’ a little. Dentist apt/GP/hospital/car/parents evening/school play/concert etc sometimes you have to make time.

Unless I’ve been extremely lucky (and I don’t have the most accommodating employer now or in the past) if I give plenty of notice for an appointment then most of the time there hasn’t been an issue.

Parents are teachers' partners in the education of their children.

It is the partnership nature of this which makes meeting and talking to at least one parent / guardian of each child such a high priority.

I also have a manger that doesn't think we should even be entitled to annual leave. Let alone use it on something as unimportant as our children.

Oh, re-reading that I think you’re thinking I’m being obstructive and saying I couldn’t make a parents evening for my own kids? If it clashed with a parents evening at the school I taught at, I wouldn’t be able to attend my own child’s parents evening, no. But I’d know about any clashes at the start of the academic year. It has happened, but I think those cases my DH went.

Bert, if my school calendar says a parents' evening is on a particular evening, and one of my children's parents' evenings is on the same evening, then I cannot commit to the latter, however far in advance it is advertised. I am not available - I HAVE to be in my own school, meeting parents. It isn't negotiable, and the evening can't be moved for me.

as the Dd of a retired head of 6th form and with several retired teachers in my family I think you’ll find that the parents ARE your clients if you’re a teacher. Certainly that’s how my family members regarded parents.

And I think that all the actual serving teachers on this thread will find that you're wrong. Maybe your family felt that way, but that's on them. It's certainly NOT how the real, current, teaching world views it and any parent approaching their child's school with that attitude would get short shrift.

Truly, truly, our school did not give more than a week or two advance notice of parent’s evening. Our parent WhatsApp groups were always fuming about it. In fact this year some parents heard from an extra curricular group normally held at the school that a session wouldn’t be on because of parent’s evening before the school wrote home to parents.

Our second school did give advance notice, it was on the calendar given out in September, but our first school absolutely did not. Now about to check the website of our new school (a few moves...).

I both the primary and secondary parents evenings are on the website a year in advance. Dont think its rude at all, there is obviously a problem.
Schools are really working hard to manage work life balance.

If people are working past 7, what childcare are they using? Surely in most families there is a parent at home by 7 with their primary age child at least some days each week. Both parents don't need to attend. Yes there will be exceptions but hopefully most young children are in bed at home shortly after 7, not waiting at the childminder for their mum (who also can't book any time off 6 months in advance) to finish their 2-10 shift.

@mumtomaxwell the heads letter regards parents as children who will be told what to do - like children! Only they’re not!

And to the other pp who accused me of being the type of parents who has self entitled “little darlings” or something of the like...now that’s IS incredibly rude! Pp You know nothing about me or my dc. However, what I would say is that I’ve got children that are a spread of ages and also have one who has ptsd due to incompetency in schools - under a labour government for all you wanting to blame austerity - was nothing to do with funding - was shear arrogance & incompetence on the part of teachers and heads.

I think it's honest, although 7pm isn't very late- I don't get home from work until 6.45pm so it wouldn't work well for me tbh.

The headteacher has her own young children. I'm sure she understands the plight of teachers with children more than most!

I find it hard to grasp that most people cannot book a half day off several months in advance to attend? There are some exceptions but the head then asks parents to write in advance, presumably so this can be planned around
Working parents have 13 weeks of holidays to cover, along with public holidays, in service days, ad hoc school closures teachers strikes

There is only one month in our school calendar where children are at school every weekday. Then there are school concerts, assemblies, we have learning cafes, open afternoons, sports days etc etc. There is a lot of pressure on my 27 days holiday so “just booking a half day” isn’t always that simple.

Parents evenings are pointless for us. We’ve never had a single problem and only attend because we feel we have to. There have been one or two small issues I needed to talk to the teacher about but that’s not something that could have waited until the next parents evening.

The school is wrong to berate parents for not coming. They need to remember they provide a service and in fact some parents do work between 1.30 and 7 pm.