Is this school newsletter too rude?

[RudeHead]

NC as obviously outing to other parents. This week's primary school newsletter had the following from the head^^ about parents' evening...

Thank you for all the positive comments that teachers received yesterday. They all work so hard for each child in their class. Though I have noticed that there are too many parents not attending the parents meeting and making individual appointments with teachers before and after school This will not be allowed. We start at 1.30pm and finish at 7pm so whatever job you have, you can still make the consultation. I have to keep the workload down for our teachers. If there is a reason why you cannot meet on the designated parent consultation, which is dated in September, then please write to me.

AIBU that this is unacceptably rude? I feel like I should write in or something. I get her point but surely there's a better way to make it?

““What jobs do people have where they literally cant book an afternoon off 6 months in advance?”

Teaching!”
So a teacher wouldn’t be able to commit to a meeting between 6 and 7 in 6 months time?

It's to the point. I can see why he/ she has written it if lots of parents are taking the piss. Possibly could've been worded better though.

Their statement is not entirely true, there are going to be certain circumstances where those times just aren't possible, even with plenty of notice. But hopefully they understand and that, and those are exactly the type of circumstances where they don't mind arranging another time.

Bring the kids with you and have your friend watch your kids

Some schools operate a creche (ds' primary did). Others are very clear, no small children allowed.

And we don't all have friends/relatives we can ask to watch the kids. As I said in an earlier post, it's no good expecting everyone to have a 20 year plan for childcare before you have kids. Life doesn't work that way. Grandparents get old/infirm, people move house etc.

Not if they have small children, no

Bring them

It's a school hall not a night club. Bottle. Banana. Phone. Sorted.what do you think.everyone else does

'I wouldn't be able to commit to a specifc time months in advance'.

You don't have to. The date and time frame are sent out months in advance the actual time slots are given out a few days before.

The other thing that hasn't been mentioned, which probably changes things is......school closes half day on parents evening. You have to pick up your child at 1:15pm. So that's a whole other dimension!

@TheFairyCaravan In that scenario couldn't you attend and feedback to your husband and with your son, the children's Mother could attend and feedback? I'm sure the school would let your son arrange an appointment if he still wants to speak them about his children when he does get leave.

@BertrandRussell

Not if it clashed with a school directed time event (meeting, training, Parents eve).

These can be granted at the discretion of the head but no Head i’ve Ever worked for would.

I am going through fertility investigations at the moment and it is a nightmare to schedule appointments so I don’t miss any lessons or any directed time. Ditto the. Umber of family and friends weddings/funerals etc because things aren’t granted unless close family or dire emergency.

I did get to have a day off for my miscarriage. But I had to get back the next day for my exam groups.

The above is why so many teachers are pissed off when being accused lazy shysters. We give up enough of our time and personal relationships already.

I think it sounds very rude “whatever job you have you can still make the consultation”

Dh is a teacher. When he was able to drive he didnt arrive home until 7.30pm. Teachers can’t book time off in term time and pound to a penny one of his school events would clash with something like parents evening.

Prior to that he taught at a HE college and lodged away from home Tuesday - Thursday. Again he couldn’t change his days.

He would al

I don’t think teachers are lazy shysters. That’s why I am saying that parents should not take the piss about demanding out of hours parents evening appointments and that this Headteacher was doing a good thing standing up for her staff. Ffs.

Also, to be clear what she's saying is:

If you can't come to parents evening, that's fine, up to you, BUT you can't turn up the following morning/afternoon or a couple of days later and expect the teacher to have a consultation with you.

So the people in the army/on a research project in the north pole/in space/in a coma/in prison who can't attend parents evening.....this isn't for you! You're not going to turn up at 8:40am the following morning demanding to see the teacher! You're fine!

It's aimed at the self involved and the rude. If you're not rude and/or self involved don't worry about it!!

It could happen, and might have in my life, despite having six months' notice of a school meeting, that a major project's client could schedule a major meeting with only a few hour's notice.

Do you work for the client again, or play the family card?

If you're doing private education, I'd press the pay button. In the maintained sector, it's a lot harder. There could be several families trying to reschedule at late notice. There's no hard and fast rule.

So a teacher wouldn’t be able to commit to a meeting between 6 and 7 in 6 months time?

Not they are working at their own school parents evening. Every school near me seems to have them at the same time of year.

As a nursery manager, I couldn't Male that time when it clashed with our own settings parents evening. Leaving at finish time was a rare event on a normal day, on a parents evening it's well beyond seven before leaving the building never mind an hours commute back.

Knew this thread would attract all the "yeah, but" brigade. "My dh WORKS." "We're speshul!"

If you don't rate a parents' evening as worthy of you going out of your way to attend, then fine. Don't go. But please don't expect teachers who are already on their knees with an excessive workload to accommodate your schedule. Sure there will be the occasional family who really can't make it, but in this case, it sounds as though there are far too many people taking the piss just because.

Very blunt

If I had sent global business emails out like that I know for a fact it would have got people's backs up. She probably thought that she was being clear and direct but it could have been worded better and conveyed the same message. Emailing is a bit of an art.

Must try harder....

I'd more take it that many parents are trying to make before and after school appointments and they are trying to stamp this out. Which seems utterly reasonable. If you genuinely can't make the day alloted, then you write to her and arrangements can be made, but don't bug the teaching staff.

Blunt and naive but not rude

I think it's blunt, but not rude. And you wouldn't believe the reasons parents don't come, everything from Zumba to hen parties to golf outings! I'd be pretty sure than exceptions will be made for proper, genuine reasons but that the above is to stop that "just want a quick word" that goes on for 20 minutes for those who don't attend at the correct times.

At dd’s School parents evening was always a Friday evening. I worked Friday evenings in charge of 50 kids in a job where holiday in term time is not allowed. I ended up having to leave that job.

Dh was teaching himself until 6pm (further education)

Worth mentioning also that this school offers quite a lot of feedback via reports and has 'open classrooms' at various points through the year. Sometimes at school pick up, but they also do a couple of early morning openings for parents who work.

*I can categorically tell those of who you get "a weeks notice" because that's when you get your letter are totally wrong.

I will guarantee there's a whole year calendar with the dates, it's agreed by staff, head and unions right at the start of the school year, actually in July/August previous year if they can.

I sit in September and get husband to book half days or arrange granny sitting for those days.

Every school I've worked in and my kids schools have this.

And it has Inset days on too. Imagine knowing when they are for the whole year instead of flipping out when you realise there's one "you weren't told about" (you were) and haven't planned for.*

This exact thing. The school calendar has to go through consultation with staff, governors and union reps. It will be drafted in the summer term, gone through consultation, adjusted, and be ready for staff and parents by first day in September. Many schools have online calendars too, and all parents evenings for the year will have been calendared and available on the website, as well as a paper copy sent home in every school I’ve worked in. Even so, there’s always parents who complain that an event was sprung on them.

Well there are plenty of public service jobs that require people to work beyond 7pm. Nurses, Doctors, Police officers, fire service - not to mention anyone who may work shifts in hospitality so in fact it's not true at all.

However I don't think the letter is rude and as a parent if I couldn't attend I'd simply do as asked and email the teacher as required, no drama.

A variety of appointments and six months notice, anyone who can't attend excluding emergency circumstances is being unreasonable. It seems he values his staff/the time they put in and is tired of parents not doing so. Perfectly fine.

I think it's to the point. The school DC attends have a number of parents' evenings a year. These are shown on the school calendar which is highlighted at the start of each academic year, and is posted on the webiste. Each week we get a newslettery thing which reminds parents of upcoming events.
Every year there are parents that moan about not knowing how their child/ren are doing in school but never attend these evenings. Despite the fact that the dates are set up to 12 months in advance, and the fact that school will, if necessary, reschedule a 1-2-1 for 10 minutes or so with the child/ren's teacher to cover any concerns.

Yes, many people commute to work and many people work long hours but it can't be beyond the realms of possibility to leave early once in a while.

We seem to spend a great deal of time at work, racking up hours to earn money to buy things for our children to compensate for the fact that we have little free time for them. At least, this seems to be the case where I live. Kids don't need to go skiing, or to Dubai or to Disneyland every year. I'm sure they'd far rather have two weeks at any destination, and have parent(s) attend their school plays once in a while.

Yes, schools often do plan those dates in advance but I can categorically state they don’t always communicate them to parents.

Dd now attends dh’s school and they are dreadful at communicating dates. I often only know stuff because of dh.

Also I’m on the school community liaison group and one of the teachers on the group asked us to complain about the fact we were not told the date of parents evening sooner despite the date being known to staff.

I don’t think it’s rude.

If it was short notice it would certainily be unrealistic for some. My husband works one of 8 different shifts, 4 of them mean he is at work between those hours.

However, if he was given 6 months notice he’d be able to arrange a shift that meant he could attend.