Is this school newsletter too rude?

[RudeHead]

NC as obviously outing to other parents. This week's primary school newsletter had the following from the head^^ about parents' evening...

Thank you for all the positive comments that teachers received yesterday. They all work so hard for each child in their class. Though I have noticed that there are too many parents not attending the parents meeting and making individual appointments with teachers before and after school This will not be allowed. We start at 1.30pm and finish at 7pm so whatever job you have, you can still make the consultation. I have to keep the workload down for our teachers. If there is a reason why you cannot meet on the designated parent consultation, which is dated in September, then please write to me.

AIBU that this is unacceptably rude? I feel like I should write in or something. I get her point but surely there's a better way to make it?

I don’t know if it’s any different in primaries, but I don’t imagine the non-teaching parents has a grasp of how many parents evenings teachers do each year. At my last school I counted 19, which included parents consultation evenings, options evenings, transition evenings, settling in evenings, revision meetings. That’s about one each fortnight. And as a parent, those days are really difficult. Personally, I’d be doing my normal teaching job from 7.30-3.30, then parents evening till between 8 and 9. I’d get home 9/10ish and not have seen my children all day. It’s part of the job, but it is unpleasant and also very tiring - it would generally throw out the rest of the week until I could catch up at the weekend. So when parents then expect you to meet with them at times more convenient to them, for really spurious reasons, it was a bit of a kick in the teeth. I’ve never refused a parent, but it does create even more work. The worst, though, was the parents who’d asked me to make an appointment after the scheduled parents evening (say for 8.30 when it finished at 8) and I waited for them and then they didn’t turn up. That’s happened a few times, and the kids tell me the next day that their parent was too hungry, or too tired or wanted to watch a particular tv programme instead.

I’m a teacher and it’s not rude at all. Am so fed up of parents expecting individual meetings (that inevitably last far far longer than the scheduled meetings on parents evenings) rather than just putting the parent evening/consultation in their diary. My school advertises these very far in advance.
The head sounds great.

The reality is those that care about their children's education will find a way to make it, and those that dont will make excuses. The number of families were neither parent can genuinely make it will be miniscule.

Found the same with the helping at scouts rota. It's never the single parent with younger children, or the parent with a disability, who cant make it. Always Mr "my life is so much busier and more important than yours".

Very abrupt and rude. How dare they assume EVERY parent can make it between 1pm and 7pm?

How narrow-minded, obnoxious, judgemental, and presumptuous.

Problem is, most schools - and teachers - seem to think that everyone has the luxury of working the hours THEY work.

They would get a short shrift from me!

I have never seen the point in parents evenings anyway. If there is a problem or issue, then tell me when it occurs, don't wait for blimmin' parents evening!

They need to remember they provide a service and in fact some parents do work between 1.30 and 7 pm.

They're providing your child with the opportunity of an education.

... if you are a doctor/ nurse and somebody cancels- do you accommodate the patients every need? No. They book in around the appointments left- and have to book an afternoon off work! Sorry- but teachers work in the same manor. I do not have a wide open schedule that I can simply 'fit you in' whenever I / you are free- we are given that allotted time during parents evenings to see you. Either make the effort to be there- or quit complaining and get a more flexible job that fits in with your children's needs like everyone else. I can't stay after school to accommodate you and YOUR children at the drop of the hat as I have my OWN children to care for. Will do all I can in my role as a teacher- but I'm sorry some parents just take the pi** and don't appreciate what time we already give.

The reality is those that care about their children's education will find a way to make it, and those that don't will make excuses.

Nonsense. Not everyone has the luxury of working fixed hours 9 to 5, with a short commute. What a narrow-minded view.

@neeschoolnewname perhaps you missed the paper school calendar that’s generally handed out on the first day of school? I’d be pretty surprised if there wasn’t a years calendar available at all.

They're providing your child with the opportunity of an education.

And getting paid quite well for it.

Let's get away from this idea that teachers are more special, and worthy of praise than everyone else.

As a teacher in a secondary school I have to say I wish my Head was more like this! Sorry but if you care for your child's education and know about the date in advance you should be bothered enough to make it. We have far too many parents who don't attend but then call in for a meeting before and after school at a drop of a hat. Well when you have 8 classes which is 200 plus kids a week then parents evening is the most reasonable way to get feedback on your child's progress without overburdening teachers who are already at breaking point.

I can see why teachers are leaving the profession in droves.

I don't see what the problem is at all. If the letter doesn't apply to you then it doesn't matter what the wording is. If you are included in the ones who need to call to make arrangements the rest of the wording isn't aimed at you either. And if the wording does apply to you then you've clearly been taking the piss and deserve it. Sorted.

The reality is those that care about their children's education will find a way to make it, and those that dont will make excuses.

I totally agree with that. Even if you cannot make all the parents evenings, there's usually at least 3 a year, I am sure you can manage to arrange one.

get a more flexible job that fits in with your children's needs like everyone else

Yep, because it's really that easy to find flexible working, isn't it?

@Yabbers

Parents evenings are pointless for us. We’ve never had a single problem and only attend because we feel we have to. There have been one or two small issues I needed to talk to the teacher about but that’s not something that could have waited until the next parents evening.

Yeah this. As I said, parents evenings are/were a waste of time anyway. We stopped going after the first few. Our kids ended up both at universities that are in the top 20 in the country. Go figure.

If they are THAT much of a 'problem' for the poor hard-done-by teachers, then stop them.

Sorry Kolo you do make me laugh.

Schools don’t give out paper anything these days. They can’t afford it.

Having spent the last week trying to rearrange all the parents who couldn't make it to see me, but have plenty of time to stand outside the school slagging me off because I told poor little Freddie off for telling another child to fuck off, I wish my head would write something like that! Not every parent can make it, we can accommodate most needs, but it's the 29 who wont arrive because I didn't give them the 3.15 time

God there are some cunty replies on this thread.

I get the sentiment. The way it's written is a bit shit.

The assumption that all families have one parent with flexible enough hours to attend is short sighted.

Sounds fine to me. The date is published months ahead and they have times to suit most occupations. If you work awkward shifts eg 12 hours nursing, you can request to swop to another day. For those in specific circumstances they will make an exception

Those teachers would not have been paid for that. What about THEIR families? What about their work life balance? Ok parents work, but as has been said, you would make time for drs appointments etc. My dr's surgery closes at 6pm everyday - I bet you’d make that appointment...

It is one evening and part of their job. And actually, no, though the impossibility of attending parents' eves with an early finish never affected me, as it did others, since you mention it, Dr's appt for DC frequently meant a half day off school due to a long school commute.
The issue of appts of any sort during a working or school day can be very difficult and the point I was making was than rather than an autocratic pronouncement a conversation is clearly required about this.

@comefromaway I don’t agree. You should see the repographics bill for my last school. And the amount of paper letters I get from my own kids schools. Every school I’ve ever worked at, or my children attended, has given out paper copies of the school calendar at the start of the year.

SCHOOL SHUTS HALF DAY

Sorry for shouting, but the OP didn't mention it and it's quite relevant!

School shuts half day on parents evening, so most families will have someone around because they've taken time off to cover the school being closed!

@ americandream, it's a shame you think so low of your children's teachers. Let me break the myth of 9-3 working day right now: most teachers I know get to work at 7.30 and leave at 5 in order to fit in all the planning, marking, meetings and training that we are required to do every week in order to give YOUR child the best start in life possible. A lot of teachers continue to work at home and on the weekend to ensure deadlines are met for marking of assessments, books etc. Again this is for the benefit of YOUR child. Teachers do not ask for special treatment despite the increasing pressures on our time. Teachers need all the support from parents they can get- they are leaving the profession in their thousands due to poor behaviour and workload so to suggest they are anything but hardworking is a massive insult and it will be to your own detriment as teacher turnover continues to increase and YOUR child will be the one who loses out.

Not every parent can make it, we can accommodate most needs, but it's the 29 who wont arrive because I didn't give them the 3.15 time

Well maybe it's the service not meeting the needs of the clients then. Perhaps it would be useful to dig a bit deeper into why 29 parents cannot make it. Childcare issues? Transport? Lack of somewhere to wait with younger children?
Could you offer 6 slots 3:30 onwards per day over a week perhaps? Waiting with squash and biscuits and something for the kids to do in the school hall?