Is this school newsletter too rude?

[RudeHead]

NC as obviously outing to other parents. This week's primary school newsletter had the following from the head^^ about parents' evening...

Thank you for all the positive comments that teachers received yesterday. They all work so hard for each child in their class. Though I have noticed that there are too many parents not attending the parents meeting and making individual appointments with teachers before and after school This will not be allowed. We start at 1.30pm and finish at 7pm so whatever job you have, you can still make the consultation. I have to keep the workload down for our teachers. If there is a reason why you cannot meet on the designated parent consultation, which is dated in September, then please write to me.

AIBU that this is unacceptably rude? I feel like I should write in or something. I get her point but surely there's a better way to make it?

I'm fed up with schools assuming every parent has to run around as they demand. There's nobody keeping my workload down, why should they get special treatment

I am fed up of parents assuming every teacher has to run around as they demand. Primary teachers have 30 students to consider. Why should any one of them get special treatment?

I get the point. However, I'd like to see the Head explain how it's easy for everyone to get there when I, for example, will be working in my own school until 10.30pm all this week.

Wouldn't matter if I had a year's notice of such a date, my presence at school is non negotiable and non attendance at work would be a good reason for dismissal. Unless the Head wants to give me a job in their school, of course...

Ooh this is my children's school!!

I've namechanged for obvious reasons!

The head is a woman for those using 'he'.

When I saw the title of this thread I thought of that bit of this weeks newsletter!

I like that she's sticking up for the staff, and she has the kids best interests at heart imo, but she does often veer towards rudeness. The OP obviously doesn't have a child in year six because the letter we had this week was much worse! Some of her letters really make me laugh!

'The English is awful. Really bad. Ineloquent. Could be worded so much better.'

I totally agree with this. The year six letter made me wince. English is her first language so no excuses there either! I out it down to being too busy to bother re-drafting, properly thinking through the tone!

"I think she’s rude. I find this all the time with people in leadership positions in public SERVICES. Parents and children are the CLIENTS of the schools and they should be treated as such. I’m am not in anyway saying that parents should treat teachers disrespectfully BUT the parents/children are receiving a service not the other way round!"

No.

We start at 1.30pm and finish at 7pm so whatever job you have, you can still make the consultation.

DH couldn't always, six months notice or not, and neither could DS1 if he was a parent. They're both in the armed forces, DS1 has a vague idea of where he's going to be all year, if this fell in the middle of the 4 months he's away, or the 6 weeks he's some where else or wherever he couldn't go. DH works in a small team, he's been on a leave ban the past two weeks, there's certain meetings he has to go to, he travels all over the country at short notice. Not everyone can book annual leave for a parents evening.

evenings started at 7pm and continued until 9.30pm which I think is much more realistic when parents are working, need to get the family fed in the evening, etc. If parents' eves are held with time frames that will be difficult for working parents with commutes

Because no teacher ever is also a working parent, with children who attend activities and school plays and parents evenings. It is a well k own fact that children of teachers never need feeding or picking up after a long commute.

I get the point. However, I'd like to see the Head explain how it's easy for everyone to get there when I, for example, will be working in my own school until 10.30pm all this week

So you wouldn't he able to grab the teacher after school anyway would you.

Not sure when all the ones claiming they couldn't do it would be able to do it anyway. Pointless worrying about it really if you need a yr and cant get home before 10 anyway.

Our parents evening is from 4-9 two days a year. The dates are sent out six months in advance. Later appointments are the first to fill up.

The posters who say their husbands are out the house 7-7 / don't get home until after bedtime / work 12-8, do realise that they can attend parents evening right?

Apart from that one thread where the OP insisted her kids school would only see both parents, one parent attending is fine. One parent can schedule the time given its 6 months away???? Single parents are obviously more limited but still have options and time to sort out making the parents evening?

That said, the letter is very blunt - and if copied word for word - isn't the best example of the English language.

Yup - some of us work in hospitals where, you know, we will struggle to make those hours on one specific day.

That said, I've never missed a parents' evening, even as a single mum in the past.

I don't think it's aimed at people who want to be there.

That's not rude at all ...and I don't blame the school, they have enough crap to deal with .

Sounds fine to me. Some parents take the piss.

Parents and kids are clients 🤣🤣🤣🤣

No. No they're not.

Happy to start charging the going rate of GCSE tutoring at discounted £8 hour per kid though. 1-2-1 it's £25 an hour.

Then it's a service and you're my client. And at £250 an hour per class for my professional services, I'd make myself available to see you at your convenience.

That's plenty of notice to sort something out. I think that's perfectly acceptable. Your not prepared to go out of your way to make the appt so why should the teachers. They can't fit it in round all the parents work schedules. Unrealistic & unfair.

You would love my school (Ireland) parent teacher meetings are over 2 days one day 12:30-4 ( kids have a half day) and the other 2:30- 4:30 approx. In the last 5 years have never had a parent miss one or need a different time .

Obviously if there are huge extenuating circumstances can meet them another time .

@namechange1796

I have come on here specifically to say who the fuck do you think you are???? You/your DCs are NOT my clients and I am NOT your servant just because I work in the public sector.

Attitudes like that among parents explains why there are some proper entitled little shits in our classrooms. Luckily parents like you and students like that are rare in my school. But people like you are one reason there is a recruitment and retention crisis in the teaching profession!

Parents and children are the CLIENTS

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NON

Get your head out of your arse.

I teach at my dc's school.

Our next Parents' Day - which runs from 8-4.30 - happens to hit years 7,8 & 10 (previous event was for years 9,11,12 & 13 - so prioritising those with options coming up).

It so happens that I have dc in both year 8 & year 10, & teach year 10.

So I'm waiting to see how booked up I am with year 10 parents.

THEN I'll start booking consultations for my own kids around that. I doubt I'll be able to get round many. I haven't been able to make a consultation for my year 6 daughter in living memory - I'm always teaching in the Senior School when they're on!

So I ask each Head of Year to organise a quick round up by email - they do this for any parent who can't attend & requests it.

If my ds's French teacher thinks he's slacking & wants to meet, she says so. If my dd1's Science teacher wants to tell me she's outstanding, that's nice to hear.

Honestly, a 5 minute meeting is a bit pointless & outdated.

We are increasingly moving towards regular 'drop ins' - so one week it's English, say. If your kid's teacher has a concern, they invite you. If you have a concern, you rock up.

I have no idea why anyone thinks a day of rotating round 5 minute appointments twice a year is a good use of anyone's time tbh.

Anyway - I think this Head is being perfectly reasonable. If you can't fit in those hours 6 months in advance, that's exceptional circumstances & you contact the Head & it will be sorted. Sensible for parents AND for staff.

Why should teachers stay longer than the allocated time for parents eve and be expected to have meetings in the mornings and after school

I wouldn't be able to commit to a specifc time months in advance, nor would I book holiday for a parents evening, is that something epople do?

I think they run on time appointments to even the flow out and to avoid everyone turning up at the same time. How does your school organise Parents evening currently? Would they agree to a phoning you instead if you couldn't commit to a time slot?

I wouldn't take a holiday no but with a few weeks notice I could arrange cover to leave a little earlier, Or take a phone appointment. The only time neither parent could make it was due to Dh working away and dds parents evening clashing with my works parents evening but her teacher understood and phoned me in her lunch break instead.

I wouldn't take a days holiday to attend though, I just wouldn't go at all. If I had concerns about dd I'd contact her teacher when they arise and not wait til parents evening anyway.

She's in y9 now and seeing a dozen teachers in one parents evening is a whole new ball game. Appointments are given and but in a year group with 500 students there some parents who knowingly ignore the appointment system and just turn up and push their way in. Enough do it to turn the whole system into chaos and I haven't been to another since y7 and I don't feel guilty for it. Every teachers says the same about her, her science teacher even said to dd "we will sound like parrots do we""?" And her test results etc show she's doing well so it asked a bit of a waste of time be spending two hours fighting que jumping parents to be told what I already know. And as with primary school I'd contact individual teachers if she was struggling when it happened and not wait months for parents evening.

I'm sorry, but if you can't prioritise your children's parents evening appointments 6 months in advance then you need to give yourself a good talking to

This

“What jobs do people have where they literally cant book an afternoon off 6 months in advance?”

Teaching!

Haha @mumtomaxwell. You said exactly what I thought when I read that post. Clients!!!

Honestly, parents who want to be at parents evening will be there unless there are genuinely extenuating circumstances.
It sounds like the school will accommodate genuine requests so I really don’t see the problem.

The letter is very clear/blunt which is sometimes what you’ve got to be. Good on the head for looking after her staff.

Also. Dds school close early to accommodate parents evening, slots start at 2pm until 8pm, and depending on which year is currently having them she's sent home at lunchtime for a few Wednesdays in a row per year group parents evening. Added up that's about fifteen afternoons of missed lessons on a weds afternoon.

The posters who say their husbands are out the house 7-7 / don't get home until after bedtime / work 12-8, do realise that they can attend parents evening right

Not if they have small children, no.

I'm sorry, but if you can't prioritise your children's parents evening appointments 6 months in advance then you need to give yourself a good talking to

Oh well some parents had better give up work and live off benefits then. Good luck with that if you are in the Services, I think you need to give a year's notice to leave.