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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think the woman was right to change the baby..

135 replies

Justanothernamechange2 · 18/03/2019 18:13

...on the bus.

Little back story.. the bus service in question is 1hour48 end to end. The service only runs once per hour so if you get off its a hour until the next one.

Woman and tiny baby get on the bus and sit in the designated buggy park bit. 5mins into the journey it becomes very apparent baby has pooed. The baby is in the laydown carry cot part of the pushchair, quite deep, youd have to peer in to see much of him. The woman quickly changes her son and double bags the nappy and puts that in her changing bag. The window is open + the smell is gone in a matter of minutes.

Another woman on the bus got quite aggressive towards her and said shes a vile creature for changing a baby on the bus and she should have got off the bus or waited until she got home. The mum stated that she was as efficient as possible and if she left him he'd be sore and the bus would continue to smell for another hour n 15mins. The other lady replied "its not raining you coulda got off and waited for the next bus".

Aibu to think the woman did no wrong.. the poor kid needed changing, she did it in a dignified way and shouldnt be expected to stand in the cold and almost darkness for a hour...

OP posts:
DSHathawayGivesMeFannyGallops · 18/03/2019 23:19

The mum did absolutely the right thing! You can't leave a baby to get sore and the smell would have affected far more people. If the baby then cried, far more people again would be affected. I've seen people occasionally changing babies in public before. Usually in places with no loos or closed/broken facilities. If it's necessary, it's necessary. I'm not the biggest fan of babies, but I do agree that mums get it in the neck unfairly due to their perceived meekness.

Why should the mum potentially pay twice, miss an appointment or onward travel connection and be waiting for up to an hr? I also only catch busses if I absolutely have to. I know my local stop and I usually know my destination. If I had to get off in between, especially on an unfamiliar route, I'd honestly not have much idea of where I was... and it might be in the middle of nowhere, or somewhere miles from the nearest loo (loads of residential streets near me with stops, but if you don't know how to go to the high st, which can be quite a walk, you're stuck). DP and I caught a few busses in Scotland recently; the small towns and Edinburgh were fine, but the inbetween bits could be big stretches of not very much. I wouldn't have wanted to get off there and wait for an hour with just the sheep. Especially with a little baby.

WiddlinDiddlin · 19/03/2019 00:20

Round here you could be waiting on a narrow pavement with nowt but fields for bloody miles, in the dark, for the next bus.

NU at all - public transport involves.. the public, and all the things they might do. Don't like it, get a car, or a bike, or a motorbike, or walk.

SleepingStandingUp · 19/03/2019 00:32

I would have got off the bus, changed the baby and got the next one
If you wNt to stand in the cold, possoy wet and increasingly dark night for 1- 3 hours with a small baby, go for it. Utterly ridiculous to expect anyone else to do so when in reality the people on the bus didn't have to put up with the poo smell for any longer than if she'd got off

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 19/03/2019 00:56

I think she was right to change the baby.

I considered doing this with DS2 on a train once - except we were near the end of our 2 hour journey, and he was in a pushchair, not a lay-down pram, so it would have been FAR more difficult - so we held on until we got to our destination and I changed him once there. If it had been earlier in the journey, I might have had to do it.

youknowmedontyou · 19/03/2019 05:48

She was right to change the baby, she me people just love moaning!

Sitdownstandup · 19/03/2019 14:23

If you wNt to stand in the cold, possoy wet and increasingly dark night for 1- 3 hours with a small baby, go for it.

I'm not sure I agree actually, I don't think it's very responsible to deliberately choose to take action that is guaranteed to leave a baby out for an hour in the cold and damp when you have such an easy alternative available. Once off the bus there might not be anywhere inside or covered to change baby either. A baby shouldn't have to put up with that just because the mother is ridiculous.

NotExactlyHappyToHelp · 19/03/2019 14:47

Did the mum change the baby while it was still in its pram or did she lift the baby out and do it on her knee/ the bus seats? If the latter maybe a tiny bit U but I still wouldn’t judge.

If she changed the baby in the pram I absolutely cannot see a problem.

Tiny baby poo doesn’t even smell like poo. It’s way way way down on the list of offensive things I’ve smelled on public transport. My two year old nephews nappy could gas an entire bus station though Grin.

SleepingStandingUp · 19/03/2019 14:48

Wow, I clearly didn't spell check.

And yes yes, quite, but it's hard to argue with the martyr act of "I've have stood in the rain for 7 hours then walk 63 miles bofore I'd ever expect anyone to cope with a poopey smell for two minutes and debauch myself on the pillar of sensible over etiquette"

NotExactlyHappyToHelp · 19/03/2019 15:08

Did the mum change the baby while it was still in its pram or did she lift the baby out and do it on her knee/ the bus seats? If the latter maybe a tiny bit U but I still wouldn’t judge.

If she changed the baby in the pram I absolutely cannot see a problem.

Tiny baby poo doesn’t even smell like poo. It’s way way way down on the list of offensive things I’ve smelled on public transport. My two year old nephews nappy could gas an entire bus station though Grin.

PavarotisBitOnTheSide · 19/03/2019 15:26

This reply has been deleted

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SleepingStandingUp · 19/03/2019 15:33

No idea who that is aimed at Pavarotti but it's quite uncalled for. No need to call someone an imbecile

SchadenfreudePersonified · 19/03/2019 16:14

No need to call someone an imbecile

Unless the comment was aimed at Autocorrect, the bastard!

TwittleBee · 19/03/2019 16:18

Blimey, I changed my 19 month old on a bus replacement service the other day and it was only a 45 minute journey!

SleepingStandingUp · 19/03/2019 17:51

SchadenfreudePersonified I couldn't see an earlier post from then so assumed it was at someoen saying should of and shouldn't of

user1480880826 · 19/03/2019 18:01

You should never need to be discreet about changing a baby’s nappy. If it needs doing just do it. Don’t make a baby sit in poo and get a sore bum because of some ridiculous prude. It’s just poo ffs.

These are the same idiots who would be offended by a breastfeeding mother feeding in public.

threatmatrix · 19/03/2019 18:03

The only thing wrong here is that you don’t sound like you said anything to the moaning woman. I would have stood up for the poor mother who must have felt awful

Littlechocola · 19/03/2019 18:05

I would have been more offended if she didn’t change the baby and I had to smell that for the rest of the journey.

Cherry4weans · 19/03/2019 18:13

I would think you would BU not to thank the mum loudly for her swift decision making which saved a lot of passengers or a tiny baby a lot of grief. I truly feel that women should support each other for trying our best even if it isn't something you would do yourself.

Pinkbells · 19/03/2019 18:15

Poor woman, she didn't do anything wrong. Either by changing the baby in the pram or doing it once she'd finished the journey, it's hardly something to get worked up about.

ToftyAC · 19/03/2019 18:44

Good god, we’ve changed our DS2 just about everywhere, including the bus. No one has ever bothered. I guess that they’re sensible people who would rather we’d change a crappy nappy to minimise the smell and ensure our kiddo doesn’t get nappy rash. YANBU

LouH1981 · 19/03/2019 18:54

And leave my baby to cry or get nappy rash and for it to leak out for the rest of the journey? I don’t think so. Good on her for being so efficient.

PavarotisBitOnTheSide · 19/03/2019 18:57

ToftyAC

Is the DS2 a car or a computer? I know that both Citroen and Nintendo make a DS

PavarotisBitOnTheSide · 19/03/2019 19:04

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happymum12345 · 19/03/2019 19:12

I would have done the same in the mums situation. Little baby's poo doesn't really smell bad anyway. Some people can be so intolerant. I often feel it's out of jealousy. Perhaps they couldn't have done that when they had young babies?

Iseverynametaken · 19/03/2019 19:13

I can't believe people would honestly get upset by this. I don't have children so can't say I have been in this position, but its a tiny human life that shouldn't have to sit in a full nappy for a length of time. How pathetic are people to get annoyed over 15 minutes of smell in their day... do such insignificant things actually make people so angry Hmm I really just don't get it. I wouldn't even bat and eyelid to something like this.