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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think the woman was right to change the baby..

135 replies

Justanothernamechange2 · 18/03/2019 18:13

...on the bus.

Little back story.. the bus service in question is 1hour48 end to end. The service only runs once per hour so if you get off its a hour until the next one.

Woman and tiny baby get on the bus and sit in the designated buggy park bit. 5mins into the journey it becomes very apparent baby has pooed. The baby is in the laydown carry cot part of the pushchair, quite deep, youd have to peer in to see much of him. The woman quickly changes her son and double bags the nappy and puts that in her changing bag. The window is open + the smell is gone in a matter of minutes.

Another woman on the bus got quite aggressive towards her and said shes a vile creature for changing a baby on the bus and she should have got off the bus or waited until she got home. The mum stated that she was as efficient as possible and if she left him he'd be sore and the bus would continue to smell for another hour n 15mins. The other lady replied "its not raining you coulda got off and waited for the next bus".

Aibu to think the woman did no wrong.. the poor kid needed changing, she did it in a dignified way and shouldnt be expected to stand in the cold and almost darkness for a hour...

OP posts:
Crunchymum · 18/03/2019 19:46

Are you the mother OP?

KismetJayn · 18/03/2019 19:46

The problem is not only getting off and waiting an hour but paying two bus fares. When DD was tiny we had no money, I carefully budgeted bus fares as they're expensive, especially for long journeys. No way could I have paid twice for the same journey.

Anon10 · 18/03/2019 19:51

Wow... People like that need to get a grip. It’s a bit of poo in a nappy. Of course you can’t leave a baby in their own poo. That’s plain cruel. And why should the mother get off the bus? Completely ridiculous.
What is wrong with people that they don’t seem to perceive babies as humans? Tiny vulnerable humans that need to be cared for. What a nasty and vindictive person she must be to honestly be offended by that and prefer that the mother neglect her child.

JustTwoMoreSecs · 18/03/2019 19:53

Yes the mum wasn’t BU. 1h wait for the next bus with a small baby vs discreetely changing a baby in a place that is not meant for eating, the choice is obvious.

81Byerley · 18/03/2019 19:59

I'd have stuck up for the Mum had I been there. Once, in France, a restaurant owner came into the ladies toilet and told a woman off for changing her baby on the floor. The mum was English, and didn't understand what the woman was trying to say, so she picked the baby up, and held him protectively against her chest, whereupon the woman picked up the changing mat and ushered her out, and put the mat on a table in the restaurant, saying "No floor ...cold. dirty".

Nairobe · 18/03/2019 20:02

I've smelt and seen worse on buses to be fair...

She was not unreasonable. Ridiculous to get off when cleaning the baby would remove the smell quickly. What if she did get off, changed and baby shat again the moment she was on the new bus? 2 hour near journey could take a day!

In that situation as another passenger, i would tell aggressive woman to get off the bus and take a cool off walk! Sadly i bet no one spoke up for her.

user1496701154 · 18/03/2019 20:04

I totally agree with the mom doing that never leave a baby in a dirty nappy as she stated it could cause baby to be sore. She done the right thing. I'd do the same to my toddler of I could and he'd pooped on bus for a long journey

Anon10 · 18/03/2019 20:08

But her hands would be filthy and then she's touching things, disgusting

What a strange thing to type!
How many people on the bus do you think have dirty hands? The LSHTM did a study looking at bacteria on the hands of people riding public transport. They found that 1 in 4 people have faecal bacteria on their hands. So I wouldn’t be too worried about the mum who has conscientiously changed a nappy!

researchonline.lshtm.ac.uk/4870/

Whatsername7 · 18/03/2019 20:15

The mum did the right thing. I've done the same. Thoroughly baby wiped my hands after and used hand sanitizer gel. No one would complain if someone had a nose bleed, cleaned themselves up and remained on the bus, not sure why a tiny babys dirty nappy is any different.

eurochick · 18/03/2019 20:19

Im surprised at these replies. I think it's pretty rank. I would have got off the bus, changed the baby and got the next one.

AmericanBabe1 · 18/03/2019 20:25

Woman was correct to change baby. Should have told nosy person to Fuck Off.

BunsOfAnarchy · 18/03/2019 20:30

If it was a bus that ran every 5 mins. I'd get off the bus. Every hour? Nope. It's inconvenient but the baby could have nappy rash and leaving him soiled is just reckless.
She did the absolute right thing.

Also to the poster chatting shit about shit on her hands...I 've probably had shit on my hands twice in the nearly whole year of changing my daughter's nappies....youre clearly doing something wrong if u think changing a nappy entails having shit all over your hands! If it happens that much to you then pack some anti bac gel!

AllTheUserNamesAreTaken · 18/03/2019 20:30

I despair at some people. The woman changed her baby’s nappy, she didn’t squat and have a shit in a bag herself whilst on the bus.

Who the hell complains about a tiny baby having its bum changed so it doesn’t get sore when there are no other options. And no, getting off a bus and waiting an hour for the next one is NOT an option!

I bet the woman would have bitched about her as well if she’d left the baby in the nappy and then it started crying

Bibijayne · 18/03/2019 20:32

Woman was right to change her baby. That other lady was incredibly awful!

MyDearSweetSummerChild · 18/03/2019 20:33

It wouldn’t even occur to me not to change the baby if I’m honest Hmm

i once had to change my sons nappy in the back seat of the car in a Tesco car park because the store toilets were closed for maintenance and they only had portacabin type loos outside with no baby changing.

Someone walked passed and commented about me being disgusting - water off a ducks back. My son had a clean bum and that was the most important thing to me

Think the mum did the right thing.... other people need to get over themselves - it’s just a bit of poo

FenellaMaxwell · 18/03/2019 20:36

@AlmostAJillSandwich I think you might be changing nappies wrong.....

AllesAusLiebe · 18/03/2019 20:47

I wouldn’t be thrilled, but think that under the circumstances, there’s no real option but to change the baby.

A bus journey of that duration with a newborn is the last thing I’d want to do. I take my hat off to her.

Now, the pair of scumbags who changed a toddler in their seats on my most recent flight to Hamburg, on the other hand, should be hanged.

QueenArseClangers · 18/03/2019 20:57

*FenellaMaxwell

@AlmostAJillSandwich I think you might be changing nappies wrong.....*

I don’t believe that poster has ever changed a nappy and has issues with OCD and obsessing over hygiene (from past posts I can recall) Sad

Original poster
Justanothernamechange2 · 18/03/2019 21:20

Sorry for the late reply - been manic since i got home.

I was sat quite far back from the two ladies so i didnt get involved,though i would have if no one else had. The driver was the first to actually tell the other woman she needed to "pipe down" and asked the mother if she was okay etc.

The moaning lady got off in the next village (10mins) and a few other customers then took the opportunity to tell the mum she did okay.

OP posts:
Original poster
Justanothernamechange2 · 18/03/2019 21:21

...she also used wipes and alco-gel so dont worry about her pressing the stop button all unhygienic....

OP posts:
bellabasset · 18/03/2019 21:21

There are 2 other practical reasons why she might not br able to get off the bus.

  1. When you get on one of my local buses, country district, you pay for the journey so there is no option to change buses without paying another fare
  2. She might have been going to the hospital and couldn't wait an hour for the bus, and as another pp remarked might not be able to get off where there was a changing area

It's not pleasant but neither is someone being sick, unpleasant but a fact of life

Butteredghost · 18/03/2019 21:55

The lady was being UR and clearly sees herself above the mother and baby. If a smelly man had gotten on (hardly uncommon, I see a homeless looking man who smells and sings loudly on my regular bus) she would have never dared speak up. Or even if it was a dad changing a baby she would have kept quiet.

FedUpParent · 18/03/2019 22:28

If I heard the lady say “you could’ve got off and waited for the next one” then I would’ve piped up ”so could you”

And if she replied anything about her not being the one with a smelly nappy? ”Who said you smell any better than the baby”

I haaaaaate people who kick off on public transport without good reason, hope someone defended this mum

KC225 · 18/03/2019 22:37

That is rank. Seriously, is this normal behaviour now?

Ribbonsonabox · 18/03/2019 23:15

Nope it's not normal behaviour to change a baby on a bus but it is perfectly understandable behaviour given the circumstances and options available to this lady.