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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think the woman was right to change the baby..

135 replies

Justanothernamechange2 · 18/03/2019 18:13

...on the bus.

Little back story.. the bus service in question is 1hour48 end to end. The service only runs once per hour so if you get off its a hour until the next one.

Woman and tiny baby get on the bus and sit in the designated buggy park bit. 5mins into the journey it becomes very apparent baby has pooed. The baby is in the laydown carry cot part of the pushchair, quite deep, youd have to peer in to see much of him. The woman quickly changes her son and double bags the nappy and puts that in her changing bag. The window is open + the smell is gone in a matter of minutes.

Another woman on the bus got quite aggressive towards her and said shes a vile creature for changing a baby on the bus and she should have got off the bus or waited until she got home. The mum stated that she was as efficient as possible and if she left him he'd be sore and the bus would continue to smell for another hour n 15mins. The other lady replied "its not raining you coulda got off and waited for the next bus".

Aibu to think the woman did no wrong.. the poor kid needed changing, she did it in a dignified way and shouldnt be expected to stand in the cold and almost darkness for a hour...

OP posts:
OKBobble · 18/03/2019 18:37

Did you not stick up for the mum?

AssassinatedBeauty · 18/03/2019 18:38

I'd have done what she did, and I wouldn't have cared if I was a passenger. It's really antisocial to have a go at a mum with a tiny baby who is doing her best. I hope I would have said something and offered her my support.

kaytee87 · 18/03/2019 18:39

The mum was not being unreasonable at all. I hope someone stuck up for her.

lyralalala · 18/03/2019 18:40

The smell was probably much better with the nappy double bagged than the nappy still on the baby for an hour.

Lockheart · 18/03/2019 18:41

@Chloemol yes, I would have done. Get off at the next most convenient stop, change the baby in a cafe or shop toilet, then go and get the next bus. Inconvenient, definitely, but babies often are.

I have no information on how regular the stops on the OPs bus are, so if for example they are 20mins apart then I agree it might be more practical to change on the bus as the situation will be as broad as it's long.

AssassinatedBeauty · 18/03/2019 18:43

@Lockheart it's right there in the OP, that the wait would have been an hour for the next bus.

NataliaOsipova · 18/03/2019 18:43

On a bus? If done discreetly and nappy properly bagged (as this lady did)? Not ideal, but needs must and I wouldn’t see a problem with it. On a restaurant table? Never, never, never.

CheshireChat · 18/03/2019 18:45

Also it depends whether she'd be able to get on the next bus...

I wouldn't be annoyed and bad smells can massively affect me.

Lockheart · 18/03/2019 18:45

Yes I know @AssassinatedBeauty, I was referring to the distance between stops, not the regularity of the bus service. I.e. you can have a bus once an hour which stops every couple of minutes, or the stops may be very far apart.

If the lady would have to wait more than a few minutes for the bus to reach the next stop then she may as well have changed the baby on the bus as the smell was already there. But if the bus was going to stop soon then I'd have got off.

woollyheart · 18/03/2019 18:46

If it was 10 minutes between buses, I would get off. In this case, I would change baby discretely on the bus. Not ideal, but sitting in a dirty nappy for over an hour would make baby sore. Some babies immediately get upset if their nappy is dirty, so the bus would have to endure a crying baby then.

Thesearmsofmine · 18/03/2019 18:47

Why should she have to get off and wait an hour to see if she could get onto the next bus(possibly a wheelchair or other pushchairs already on). Also if she didn’t have an all day ticket she would have to pay again.

AssassinatedBeauty · 18/03/2019 18:49

I don't get the relevance of the frequency of the stops. It doesn't matter if the stops are every 5 minutes if the next bus doesn't come for another hour.

bibbitybobbityyhat · 18/03/2019 18:49

Yanbu. What else was she supposed to do? You really can meet some proper arseholes on buses.

cupoftea84 · 18/03/2019 18:50

I dont see what the problem is. Smelly unhappy baby or no smell and happy baby with a much less stressed mum. New mums surely need help and support not kicking off buses. Next time she'll probably take the car to avoid horrible people, making traffic and pollution worse.

Lockheart · 18/03/2019 18:52

Because @AssassinatedBeauty if she'd had to wait 20 mins for the next stop then it would have been better to change the baby on the bus as it would get rid of the smell quicker. However if the bus was due to stop in a couple of minutes then getting off the bus would get rid of the smell quicker.

AlmostAJillSandwich · 18/03/2019 18:53

But her hands would be filthy and then she's touching things, disgusting.

AssassinatedBeauty · 18/03/2019 18:53

Ok, so you don't think it's relevant that if she had got off the bus then she would be waiting for an hour to (hopefully) get on the next bus?

AssassinatedBeauty · 18/03/2019 18:55

@AlmostAJillSandwich wipes and alcohol gel or antiseptic hand wipes would do the job.

CheshireChat · 18/03/2019 18:55

AlmostAJillSandwich not of she had wipes and antibac gel.

CheshireChat · 18/03/2019 18:55

Cross post!

kaytee87 · 18/03/2019 18:56

@AlmostAJillSandwich why would her hands be filthy? Always good practice to wash your hands after changing a nappy but it's perfectly possible to change one without getting anything on your hands. Most people carry antibacterial gel in their nappy bags too afaik.

Lockheart · 18/03/2019 18:57

Completely agree that it would be inconvenient @AssassinatedBeauty. And whilst it's not her fault that the baby decided that the bus was a great place to go, it's her responsibility to sort it out with the minimum disruption to other passengers. So assuming she could have got off the bus quickly, I think that would have been better.

Danascully2 · 18/03/2019 18:57

Haha the person who suggested get off at the next stop and use a cafe toilet has never been on one of my local buses. She would have been stranded in a teeny village with no cafe, no shop and very possibly no roofed bus shelter.

WeWantJustice · 18/03/2019 18:58

I bet that woman would have been all admiring about what a great dad he was, if it had been a bloke who had immediately dealt with his baby's nappy.

It's not ideal. But it's public transport, you never know who is going to get on the bus. The next stop an extremely stinky person could have got on, what would that woman have said then? "Get off and have a shower and get the next bus?"

MonteStory · 18/03/2019 18:58

But her hands would be filthy and then she's touching things, disgusting.

Don’t be ridiculous: 1 it’s oerfectly possibly to change a poo without touching it. 2 She has baby wipes so can clean her hands.

Plus what is she touching? Her own phone, pram, baby...not affecting the other passengers.

I find it interesting that people think the mother and baby’s welfare come below passengers being a bit grossed out for a few minutes.