To think this woman was a cow?

[upsideyerelephant]

Just got back from Sainsbos and not happy.

My DS is right in the throes of the terrible twos. He's a normal toddler.

Anyway, I'd let him get out of the buggy and walk alongside for a bit. He then has meltdown over my refusal to let him climb into the freezer. Full on screaming, kicking, the lot. I pick him up and try to get him back in the buggy. At this point, I'm being kicked, bitten you name it. I'm doing my best but I was mainly focusing on stopping him from hurting himself.

Meanwhile I'm dimly aware that someone is standing beside me and has said something. I'm being screamed at by DS so didn't hear or answer.

This woman then shouts (after a wait of about three seconds)

"How am I supposed to get past, here?! Will you move!"

I then drag my still screaming DS across the aisle and she barges past, shoving my buggy into me with her trolly in the process.

She stomps off glaring at me.

I may have told her to grow up...

It was literally a three second wait. I wouldn't mind but she had a toddler in the trolley, who was of course being as good as gold.

AIBU to think she could've waited? I don't see what on earth I could've done?

I thought that the only way of guaranteeing no tantrums was to not have dc? (Although DH has his moments.....)
Perfect, just perfect!

I remember a situation like this with one twin tantrumming, the other one fine and a baby in the pram. I ended up picking him up like a carpet and walking home crying my eyes out. Just one person being nice to me would have made me feel a lot less shitty about it.

Next time grab him like that OP. Otherwise YANBU.

@alaric77
Im not smug but my kids never had meltdowns because i expected them to behave.

How do you know that it's because you expected them to behave and not because they were just less inclined to tantrums because of their personalities?

What Titus said.

Tantrums are normal for toddlers, but i am honestly surprised that kicking and biting are considered 'normal' during a tantrum? Screaming yes. I must have been very lucky when my DC were little, a bit of screaming was their limit. However, the woman was rude, she could have waited a minute or gone a different way.

Hilarious.
OP she was a cow, a thoughtless cow and despite what's been said on here one day she will be the one dealing with the tantrum herself.

I did find it helped to buy DD one of those little plastic trollies and give her a list of her own to concentrate on, though my preferred solution was to dump her on my Mother 😂

@WhatToDoAboutWailmerGoneRogue

He's asleep.

If you had children (you don't, nobody with children would suggest giving a child free reign near a river- the programming in a parents brain would not allow that) you would know that toddlers have naps.

I would have asked once to get back in the pushchair if he didn't he would go under 1 arm and i would be out of the shop. They soon learn that if they don't behave things come to an abrupt end

Right, so what about the pushchair? It would be quite difficult to have a squirming toddler under one arm and push the pushchair and carry any bags you may also have. Children tantrum always have always will.

I have no advice or anything I just came to say I hope you're ok.

I'm going through this very stage at the minute and I feel like I want the ground to swallow me up when he's in tantrum mode and people are watching. It makes me more stressed and makes matters worse.

Well done

weeping I don't know - I am stating what worked for me. Tiredness was never a problem for me - I enjoyed the 'childfree' time.
I also had friends who helped out occasionally, if my dh was not available, to look after them for an hour or so.

Also would shop when they were at playgroup once they reached age 3.

Sounds like a right cow.

I love how all these women who simply wouldn't allow their child to behave like that are marching out of supermarkets with their children under their arms so they can't tantrum. Whilst happily leaving trolleys full of food to spoil I presume. What sort of message does that teach your child? They don't want to be there, they kick off and you give them what they want whilst wasting a load of food in the process. I'd also love to know how you simply wouldn't allow them to hit or bite you? What would you do, hit or bite them back?

@WhatToDoAboutWailmerGoneRogue oh do shut up love

This:

I don't think tantrums are to do with discipline personally. I think they are the nature of the child. My friends children are very docile, friend isn't strict they just aren't very active children.

With DD1, I too was confused by how a child came to behave this way. With DD2, I spent so long hauling her up off supermarket (and other) floors that I had no time or energy left for confusion! Definitely a personality thing.

What do you get out of responding like that, WhatToDo? Does it make you feel better about yourself to be unkind, smug and judgemental? You know the OP has had a rough day. Why make it worse by being so rude?

I had 4, they never did because I didn't let them!

I've seen some right fibs on Mumsnet before but this is the best yet!

Yes, OP, you could spend the time defending your inadequate parenting on MN, or, shock horror, you could spend the time more wisely by improving it

Hahaha ah you're some craic.

Also OP I never go shopping without a snack in my pocket and if it gets really serious I give DD my phone to play on. Oh my god the horror!!!! I know it's not ideal but I'd rather get out of there as quickly as possible and I can put up with some 'looks' from people who have clearly forgotten just how tricky the toddler the stage is.

She was being a cow. My toddlers tantrum like you wouldn't believe, it's mostly at home when luckily there's noone there to judge me but I dread them doing it somewhere public. My daughter started to tantrum at softplay the other week but was so tired all she managed was flopping onto the floor quietly . Don't let it ruin your day.

Mine actually didn't hit or bite me because I didn't go that near them when they were in full flow.

Ugh tantrums.
My eldest was never a tantrummer. Whingy yes, but not tantrums.
As for my youngest, he's a pro at it. Very good at spotting the exact moment a tantrum would be not only awkward but dangerous and tantrumming then. In the middle of crossing a busy road for example.
He worked out how to escape from his buggy straps and the supermarket trolley seat. He was the kid who'd sit in the main bit of the trolley because he kept trying to stand up in the seat.
He also had (still has) a scream that can burst ear drums and melt asphalt. Once he got started nothing worked and believe me I tried many ways of managing his tantrums. Short of sitting on him till he shut up.

I’m so fed up with this attitude that children are just an inconvenience that no one should have to endure.

I completely agree, don't want to sound like a lentil weaver or anything but 'not tolerating' tantrums is just teaching kids that their emotions are bad and need to be suppressed. I don't think long term that all this hard-faced strict parenting works.

Yes my son does tantrum (almost grown out of it now at 3 and a half) but I don't see it as something I shouldn't have to tolerate (most days ). I try and be sympathetic but tell him never to hit, kick or bite. He still did, but less so now.

I hope all these smug mo fos dissing the op's parenting have hellish teenagers.

Oh yes and the lady was a cow yanbu.