Obvious addict came to my door.

[SilkClayFlowers]

I’m sorry I really had no idea where to post this.

Earlier this evening a (sadly) obvious drug addict was knocking on my door and I ignored her till she came into my garden and gave me story about her wallet being lost, train fare etc.

I told her in no uncertain terms I couldn’t help and to try the village shop. I’ve absolutely no idea why I said that.

I think the poor woman was just chancing her luck but at the same time it’s quite a stretch to reach my door. We are in an old cottage not on a street so the whole thing unnerved me a bit. Also i never lock the house or car doors (sleepy village and as I said not on the road) so it’s made me re-evaluate that.

I feel a bit silly to be a bit worried by the whole thing not least because it’s been just me and my infant children all weekend.

Has this happened to anyone else?

@Madein1995

I sincerely hope you get the help you need to move forward with your life.

Madein1995

Where I'm from junkie is the term used for someone addicted to herione, that is what I presume people mean when they say junkie.

People addicted to pain killers can generally hide it because like you say it doesn't have the impact on your body or the same affect on your brain and drugs such as heroine, speed, cocaine etc. For people that know what they are looking for, it is very easy to tell when someone has been using any of the above. Those addictions are not so easy to hide.

Thats all very lovely Made and as useful as a chocolate teapot.

Addiction isnt just something you do with one quiet little corner of your life, it affects and damages every part of it. I dont know about prescription drugs but I know about skunk and ketamine and heroin and cocaine and spice and crystal meth and alcohol . And what I know is that anyone with an addiction to these will lie and betray you, and bloody well sell you for glue, if it gets them their next fix. And if they work for your granny they'll steal from her.

You can go on about the nobility of the human condition all you want - OP had better keep her home secure for the next couple of weeks.

We used to call ourselves and each other junkies, not that you're wrong though medein. We certainly didnt mean people like you and theres a certain level of bravado and joking to avoid addressing the seediness and danger of what you're doing.

Opiate addiction can be pretty easy to hide, even smoking £80 a day of heroin I had problems with new dealers because they always said I didnt look the type- still a bit fat and always looked like a child. Even when I was scratching my skin off at work until I bled nobody guessed. I think its crack or injecting smack which really pushed peple over in the appearance area.

Back to the original point. In all my time Ive only ever come across one guy who was really genuinely desperately in need of food- a polish guy recently arrived suddenly homeless with no idea what to do, thankful as hell when i gave him a bag of food. So if in doubt, just do that or offer to pay for a ticket if you must.

Dont make the mistake that painkillers arnt as damaging as heroin-its doing far more damage to your liver.

Sorry where did I say they weren't as damaging? I said it doesn't have the same immediate affect on the body of the brain so it's easier to hide

Patroclus

Sorry now I'm pretty sure you post wasn't aimed at me, I should have scrolled up further.

Wholeheartedly disagree with everyone saying that you can't recognise any addict. That's just naive. If you aren't a medical professional you may struggle to discern the physical effects of one addiction over another, but most adults who haven't lived very sheltered lives can easily recognise an addict by their physical appearance.

*an addict, not any addict. Some people don't display the classic signs

Sorry to break it to you mn but ‘addicts’ don’t always look like the walking dead. I worked 20+ years as a pharmacist, some of our addicts looked like John Barrowman, Cheryl Cole, Philip Schofield and even Rebel Wilson ish, ie, healthy, mostly lean but not all, not all young, not all “addict” looking. Even Professional people, you get the idea

I’m sorry to break it to you Ms Pharmacist, but only the more organised drug users are on methadone. Many are so chaotic that they can’t get their shit together to get to your pharmacy every day.

But I’m not sure how any of this is relevant to the OP, who is talking about one particular woman who was at her door begging and wasn’t Cheryl Cole.

please make sure you keep your car and house locked up!! If not for safety reasons then just because any insurance would be invalidated if the car/house was open.

Have to admit that this was my first thought.

And I live in an area that is very much 50/50 naice/not so naice town. Loads LOADS of money in some areas, almost none in others. Of course not all addicts are obvious, but obvious addicts are obvious and it would be stupid to suggest otherwise.

barbarian did I suggest otherwise, did I suggest that op should open her house and home to strangers and ply them with tea and cake? No, I didn't. I sympathised with her and advised, like many others, she keep her doors locked in future.

Thing is though, heroin is an opiate, same as dihydrocodeine. I'm not saying it's the same, and it certainly doesn't leave the same physical mark as quickly. Nor are withdrawals the same. But they are similar. You're sick, going to the loo,. Can't eat, stomach cramps, aches and pains,feel as though you're choking. It's hell. Yet not all addicts, or even all heroin addicts would steal off anyone for a fix. They might pawn what baby jewellery they have, they might ask friends to spot them 50pounds, they might look into escort agencies. I'm not naive enough to think no addict steals. But not all do

Junkie where I'm from means any drug addict at all, and the charming alkie for alcoholic. Smsck head or more commonly, 'smack rat' is used for heroin addicts

Pat I agree it's easier to Hide. Agreed that it's no less dangerous. The Dr I saw at clinic but me on a script there and then because of the liver damage , he felt he couldn't wait another day. Which I of course felt was melodramatic. I don't now. I've experienced no signs of liver damage thus far but am scared to ask for screenings, just in case it's bad news. I'm lucky it didn't show outwardly, but I know that inwardly I was a mess.

It comes back to chaotic lives in a way. The mere fact someone works means their usage is limited, that they have to take care and groom themselves, they have to communicate. I think without work on might have became chaotic.

I'm not suggesting some addicts aren't obvious. Some are. But not all, and I think perceptions can be different. If you walk past a busy street on your way home past many people begging, you. Are more likely to see chaotic adducts and he able to recognise them. If you go to the chemist of an evening you might not realise

Out of all the smack additics I know (and there are several in close and extended family, and friends of family) there is one man that holds down a job some of the time. You can still tell by his appearance that he's a user. Perhaps some people wouldn't realise, but it's very obvious.
Also every single heroine user I know has stolen off someone at some point (several times) because their addiction takes over their whole lives, it's more important than anything or anyone, if they could sell their own children they would. We can't trust them to be in our houses, if we are around them we can't leave anything valuable lying around, they will sell anything they can get their hands on.

I never once referred to the woman in any sort of derogatory term. I wouldn’t. I think it’s deliberately naive of some posters to ask how I knew she was an addict or to suggest the train fare, lost wallet was true.

The ‘judge pants’ comments are just bizarre but having spent an evening reading various threads one poster in particular seems to have form for the ‘bitch plop’!

The fact is I couldn’t trust her and on my part it’s made me re-evaluate my safety precautions.

silk you didn't use any derogatory terms I agree, nor were you judgemental. Unfortunately some people haven't been the same

Made

I wonder if you have ever had any personal experience of addicts in your family? You say you have an addiction but have you ever had someone ruin family life because of addiction? Have you ever watch anyone neglect their children and social services step in but never actually do anything about it because for the most part the children are not being physically abused and are fed every now and then? Have you ever been on the receiving end of an addict steal off you continuously, Christmas presents, electronic devices, jewellery, money? Have you ever had you life threatened by drug dealers because of someone else's addiction?
We can all have sympathy for people that have addictions but sometimes the sympathy wears thin when they don't want to be helped and screw their family over time and time again. It is not derogatory to state facts about the physical treated of people while serious addictions to "class A" drugs.
The last thing people should do is fall for the sob stories of someone who is clearly a user because you are not helping the by handing them money, what you are doing is funding their next hit. It's not a Nobel thing to do, it's a naive thing to do.

Good god, only on MN would we now have to let on that being a glaringly obvious drug addict, isn’t glaringly obvious.

And the usually wave of “not alll drug addicts...” “not allll men.....” blah blah

drog yes I have, although I don't believe not having an addict in the family means a persln cannot understand addiction. I'm not sure all staff in addiction facilities have family members with addictions.

If you don't mind me saying, your post is very emotive. It is an emotive subject of course, and perhaps my post was emotive too. Which means perhaps we struggle to look at things objectively. I'm sorry for your experience, from what you've said it sounds very tough.

Also - at which point did I say give her money? Invite her in? I certainly didn't suggest that, even if others did. I did suggest op locks up in future.. Did I say people should hand them money, or that it would help? If you've read my posts you'll see I said nothing of the kind. ..

First, I don't want sympathy. What's sympathy going to do? I do want respect and possibly understanding and compassion, but not sympathy. And personally, I didn't put my family through hell. They've put me through hell, and are still doing so. I hurt no one during my addiction. And yes, I can say that. Because I didn't steal money or jewellery etc. I didn't get into fights, I didn't overdose. In fact I stayed so in character and was such a good actor that nobody guessed.

No, I personally haven't witnessed those things from close family. My cousin was addicted to alcohol and died, but I was only 16 when he died and shielded for the most part. In my volunteering however, I have worked with addicts. Women who were desperate to change, to get their children back. Who were admitted to a detox unit and then left 3 weeks to remain sober with no input besides buprenorphine, before admittance to rehab. Of course they failed! The support isn't there.

And it makes me angry. Because the support isn't there, and it's setting people up to fail.

I'm not saying to give addicts the earth. I'm not saying to give them money, or let them in your home. I don't have any issue with the OP, it's words like junkie and claiming people can identify addicts off the bat, that I do take issue with.

I'm not saying give your sympathy. I for one don't want sympathy. I'm not doing something extraordinary. I'm not saying I don't stumble, and I'm not saying that I won't relapse, in fact I have, a few times. I'm more proud of myself if living through my family's emotional and physical abuse, and continuing to do so, than addressing my addiction. I'm not special or different

But the feeling of shame was horrible. The first thing the Dr in the clinic said was that I shouldn't feel ashamed. But I did, and I do. And he said that he knows why. It's because of society, and how they treat addicts, how they ostracize them. There shouldn't be that Shame. Certainly not to the extent people are afraid to go to their GP, or to face up to things, or walk through those doors. Shame is a poisonous barrier

yoga it isn't all addicts. I'm an addict. I've never robbed anyone, commited a crime, begged, broken into someone's home, been violent, robbed family and friends. And I don't look like a junkie

Jesus 🙄 I know it “isn’t all addicts” but that’s not even remotely what the thread is about, is it? Nor is it about all be addicts who don’t look like ravaged heroin users.
It’s about the ones who do.

The thread seems to have had a lot of posters who think all addicts look the same, or they all steal

The OP's first and foremost duty is to protect her own wellbeing and that of her children.

She does not have to compromise her own security and that of her children to help someone else. By giving money or inviting the woman in, that is what she would have done.

No Madein1995 it just has the usually PC brigade and a couple of triggered people

We all have to make a judgement call. People don't come with signs on saying what their intentions are. The OP had to weigh up the odds in a split second, before deciding how to respond.

maybe agreed. She did the right thing. For her , and her family.

Yoga I'm not the 'pc brigade' and neither am I 'triggerrd'. Interestingly, on MN, anyone moaning about PC is told people should be sensitive to what they say, and actually it isn't pc gone mad but rather the world is a nicer place.

All I'm doing is pointing out that a) not all addicts steal b) not all addicts look like addicts c) that using words like junkie or smack heads isn't nice