DH told to "sort me out"

[feelslikeadream]

NC for this because I don't want to be outed here. Brief background - DH and his friend (let's call him A) were discussing me and someone else (B) not getting on. I explained to both I didn't want to have anything to do with B right now (B has openly bitched about me even though they've never spoken to me). Both A and B know I have a lot going on, and so apparently understood my reasoning for not wanting to get involved yet. Anyway, long story short, B messages me because of A speaking to her about it (they're dating) and I explained I wasn't comfortable with it.

A then told DH to sort me out. I don't want to say what DH responded yet because I don't know if IBU.

What would you expect your DH to do if someone had told him to sort you out?

(Also I have no posts under this name but I'm on here all the time. F the Daily Mail for anyone that thinks I'm trolling)

Thinking about it, I can imagine my husband might be totally wrong footed & might not say the right thing at the time.

The friendship would end there though.

He always sees the best in people

This is code for not having a backbone.

I disagree that more detail is needed, and you have every right to post.

I would expect my DH to tell them that wasn't going to happen and any beef they had with me they should sort out with me.

However, I've had similar occur with my MIL - she's demanded I treat fuckwit BIL with more respect and told DH to "speak to me" about it - that got no one anywhere apart from MIL finding out EXACTLY why her precious older son (BIL) gets zero respect from me - which just led to a whiny text about how she hopes my boys never fall out and she just feels like the meat in a sandwich . No acknowledgement of the fuckwit's fuckwittery at all, or my feelings in the matter.

But my point is that DH knows full well that "speaking to me" will get him and anyone else precisely fucking nowhere - or nowhere good, anyway.

Your DH needs to tell his friend to wind his neck in and he'll be doing no such thing.

"He always sees the best in people"

Could explain why he's friends with such a twat.

My DH would be very blunt and tell anyone who suggested that he should sort me out to fuck off and when there to fuck off some more. His loyalty lies with me. Even if perhaps I am not entirely reasonable. He would tell me in private if he disagreed with me on something but he is very loyal and would not sell me out like that. Then again, I'd happily tell a woman who had a problem with me and who never met me to get tae fuck too!

I'd expect my DH to tell them of fuck off

These very words (with the autocorrection provided by the poster ) are the exact ones I was going to post!

"Sort you out" indeed!

It does really matter what the issue is about, telling a husband to sort his wife out is sexist as all hell.

I've just asked DH what his response would be and he said he'd tell them to sort me out themselves - why should he be the one to suffer!

My dp would have laughed and said it was more than his life was worth!

Is it his brother ?

They used to do this in certain areas in the 70's except it was muzzle your dog and put a leash on your bitch

My husband would have just laughed. He himself hasn’t been able to sort me out for years, let alone someone else .

The only person my dh would be 'sorting out' would be whoever made that pathetic remark.

I had a similar situation several years back which involved my incredibly close Dsis and I. A family member said the same to my DH, albeit slightly differently phrased.

After he had stopped laughing he told said family member that I made my own decisions and nothing either he or anyone else would say would be of any use.

Literally EVERYONE involved had an opinion opposite to mine but gut instinct is a powerful thing.

Turns out I was right all along and domestic abuse was involved.

Happily all has ended well but it was a very rough couple of years.

My whole point being that my DH had my back and I would expect yours to do the same OP.

@LEELULUMPKIN Interesting post because my immediate gut reaction to anyone saying something along those lines, is usually an abusive man.

HA! 'Sort you out'...? Suck it up Princess, and Fuck Right Off - if you dont like me thats your problem....

Just wondering if A & B got together as the result of an affair or something? That would be a scenario where I might not have met B.

My OH had soemtimes like this at a lass at the playgroup for me who then told his dad who told my OH as we'd argued well I snapped at her my OH just told his dad to forget about it and leave it as it was mine to deal with and she didn't know what she was talking about

My DH would laugh and simply say 'You clearly don't know my wife do you?'

DH would look at his friend and say "I have a better idea. Why don't you sort yourself out, back to the 19th Century".

I'm dealing with a slightly similar situation. DH and his former BFF are no longer speaking to each other and neither one will give an inch. So be it. Former BFF is married to one of my BFFs and both of us think the quarrel was stupid and they're both too stubborn to make it up. Although my DH could care less if she and I remain friends, her DH apparently does care. He's also abusive. I can feel her pulling away from me and it makes me feel so sad as we always had wonderful times together, she and I. But it would still never occur to me to tell her to 'sort out' her DH, even if he weren't abusive. She has to do what makes her life easier.

If things don't get settled between you and B, don't be surprised if A starts pulling away from your DH.

She sounds like someone I know. Just cut contact. Tell your dh to aswell.

@Binting you're along the right lines - but she had an issue with me long before this. Before she was involved with A in fact!

@AcrossthePond55 tbh I think that's the best thing - I'd rather not be friends, that's not the right friendship for anyone.

Thanks all for your responses - you're right, DH can be a coward. He's just admitted this. I know DH doesn't like confrontation either but it's no excuse and I've actually sent him this thread because I think he needs to know that A is a twat (and that it isn't just my opinion).

I am a strong woman and although I don't like confrontation I will NOT let anyone think that I can be "sorted out". Sorry for those of you that want more detail, I can't say any more than I already have - but actually it's not needed. As a PP said, it doesn't matter what the context is, it's a sexist disgusting remark and I'm not taking it lightly.

DH will be sorting this, and has a LOT of making up to do with me for this. Thankyou all!!

I can’t imagine my DH being friends with people like this tbh. He has zero patience with these kind of shenanigans.

I think he’d probably just laugh. As in wtaf.

@feelslikeadream - sadly my H would have been like yours and most likely said to A "okay" (as in okay I will sort her out) and then came to me to say to patch things up with B. He is now my exH because he prioritised everyone's feelings over mine and didn't have my back.