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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu with shop assistants comment 'wrecking the place'

614 replies

Harmonyrays · 16/03/2019 10:59

Browsing in a large charity shop wuth a toddler pottering about. In the childs section, i was looking at books while she was looking at toys getting things out admittedlt leaving 3 or 4 on the floor. I was just turning aeound to pick them hp when an assistant came over and said 'could you please not let your child wreck the place'.

Thoughts please as im annoyed at the comment as shes a very yound child who was doing what kids do, i was close by ready to put things away and was going to help the charity by buying several items.

OP posts:
Siameasy · 16/03/2019 15:37

greenpop why would a one year old break a toy? They’re not being let loose amongst the bone China are they? My DC has never broken anything in a shop and if she did we would pay for it.

Honestly I think it’s a very risk averse existence many posters on here claim to live.

YouTheCat · 16/03/2019 15:38

If you don't think you're unreasonable, why did you ask the question?

greenpop21 · 16/03/2019 15:41

Not at all. I couldn't be further from a helicopter parent. The baby wouldn't break it on purpose. But, everyone needs to take care in shops and respect the items for sale obviously. In the case of a very young child/baby who is pre the age of reasoning, the parent needs to take responsibilty. Personally, walking around a shop with a 1 year old on the lose doesn't seem sensible or enjoyable to me.

Namechangeforthiscancershit · 16/03/2019 15:41

as you probably gathered i dont see anything wrong with letting a child handle toys even if, God forbid, they get dropped for a few seconds
Confused why the thread then?

SoupDragon · 16/03/2019 15:42

i dont see anything wrong with letting a child handle toys

If you already think a shop is akin to a playgroup there was little point asking.

greenpop21 · 16/03/2019 15:43

*loose

AguerosAngel · 16/03/2019 15:45

Why ask the question then if you think YWNBU?

HardofCleaning · 16/03/2019 15:45

Most toy shops let children handle the toys that are out, charities shop usually do too as long as they're not manhandled.

WhatToDoAboutWailmerGoneRogue · 16/03/2019 15:46

YABU. You chose to have a kid and you need to supervise said kid.

It is wholly unacceptable to let them “potter about” in shops and do what they please.

The shop assistant was right to make a comment to you as you were not adequately parenting your child.

SoupDragon · 16/03/2019 15:48

There's a difference between "handling" and "playing with them and leaving them on the floor"

GirlcalledJack · 16/03/2019 15:54

Obviously YABU.

Quite honestly I am horrified you have been brought up to have such a sense of entitlement and despair for your DC.

Fingers crossed her father has a decent input into raising your DC to have manners as she clearly won’t be getting any from you.

Your behaviour makes life difficult for shop workers, difficult for disabled shoppers, difficult for other shoppers who don’t want to have to negotiate your DC and random toys spewed about and also has the potential to break toys that I don’t for a second believe you would pay for or coat the toys in germs/dirt/bodily fluid that another child will then touch.

funinthesun19 · 16/03/2019 15:54

People saying YABU for that HmmFFS.
If you take your child in to a charity shop they are bound to have a look at the toys and maybe have a little play with them. Anyone who says their child wouldn’t do that is a liar Grin
You were about to pick them up. No harm done.

Conclusion: She was rude. People on here are obviously holier than thou. Yanbu.

VelvetPineapple · 16/03/2019 15:58

Most toy shops let children handle the toys that are out
In those cases they usually have lots of the same toy for sale and there’s a sample that they’ve opened for people to look at. But you can’t open boxes that aren’t already open and often the sample isn’t for sale, they’ve written it off and will probably bin it if it’s completely broken. The same as a perfume shop has a sample bottle that’s open to test and they just write off the cost. Big shops can afford to do that! None of that applies to a charity shop that has only one of a particular toy and intends to sell that specific toy.

Siameasy · 16/03/2019 15:58

I didn’t read it as the one year old was on the loose. I’m not a fan of one year olds on the loose in shops and even my 4 year old wouldn’t be on the loose

In our local charity shops a lot of the toys-especially the ones which appeal to 1year olds-are on the floor or bottom shelf as they are the big plastic monstrosities. So I’m thinking that the shop wants them to be seen by and accessible to kids. If the one year old was contained within this area that sounds fine. It’s somewhat different to a one year old on some sort of solo rampage amongst the glassware whilst the mum is having a fag outside (altho not on MN it seems)

PCohle · 16/03/2019 15:59

No wonder the shop assistant had to be firm, OP clearly can't take a bloody telling.

Letting soft toys that another child will want to hug roll around on a dirty shop floor where people have be traipsing dirt in off the street is really grim.

FlagranceDirect · 16/03/2019 15:59

Sorry if it riles some of you that im not agreeing with you that i was BU but as you probably gathered i dont see anything wrong with letting a child handle toys even if, God forbid, they get dropped for a few seconds

There's nothing wrong with letting a child handle toys in a charity shop so long as the parent is engaged and supervising.

Parents walk into our shop with toddlers, and the toddlers make a beeline for the toys while (usually) mother wanders in the opposite direction to the clothes racks without a backward glance. Not on folks, not on.

I've never had the front to ask them to behave, just breathe a sigh of relief when they leave and set about tidying up. But having calculated (from a pp) that over the years I've given up more than £85,000 worth of my time to manning our shop, I'm planning to be more assertive.
I've earned it.

It's not all children and parents of course, but you can recognise the careless ones as soon as they walk through the door.

SoupDragon · 16/03/2019 15:59

People on here are obviously holier than thou.

No, they just have a different opinion.

funinthesun19 · 16/03/2019 16:02

In those cases they usually have lots of the same toy for sale and there’s a sample that they’ve opened for people to look at. But you can’t open boxes that aren’t already open and often the sample isn’t for sale, they’ve written it off and will probably bin it if it’s completely broken. The same as a perfume shop has a sample bottle that’s open to test and they just write off the cost. Big shops can afford to do that! None of that applies to a charity shop that has only one of a particular toy and intends to sell that specific toy.

Maybe they should do away with changing rooms in charity shops.

Ya know, just in case someone rips the piece of clothing they are trying on or gets makeup on it or something.

Why shouldn’t a child be able to try a few toys out to see which ones they like. Same thing.

VelvetPineapple · 16/03/2019 16:02

are on the floor or bottom shelf as they are the big plastic monstrosities
They’re on the bottom shelf because they’re harder to lift up and down from a high shelf and if they fall off they’ll hurt someone. Big things are safer on the bottom shelf where they can’t fall on anyone’s head. They’re not on the bottom shelf so kids can play with them!

inthedistanceIsee · 16/03/2019 16:04

YANBU - it was a very rude comment. It is very hard to get to shops when you have young children - a toddler amusing themselves in a box of toys left at toddler height seems like an ideal solution.

Typical of the intolerance and unfriendliness towards children in this country though.

SoupDragon · 16/03/2019 16:05

Why shouldn’t a child be able to try a few toys out to see which ones they like. Same thing.

PMSL. Yeah, because that's exactly what a small child is doing when they play with stuff in a shop. 😂

VelvetPineapple · 16/03/2019 16:06

Why shouldn’t a child be able to try a few toys out to see which ones they like
Briefly trying and looking at toys is not the same as chucking them all over the floor and playing with them. The shop would be equally annoyed if you chucked clothes all over the floor. A shop is not a playgroup!

FlagranceDirect · 16/03/2019 16:06

Shop assistants often encourage it, playing with the children and getting different toys down for them (probably to encourage you to buy!)

In my long career as a charity shop volunteer I have never seen this happen. Reliable volunteers are thin on the ground and busy processing, sorting, cleaning, tagging, working the till and tidying.

Encouraging customers to spend 50p on a toy lorry is not the most lucrative use of their time.

funinthesun19 · 16/03/2019 16:07

This reply has been deleted

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funinthesun19 · 16/03/2019 16:09

Soupdragon If I’ve told my child he can have something from the charity shop he goes and has a look and plays with a few. Fucking hilarious isn’t it 😂